My soft place
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My soft place
| Wed, 06-06-2007 - 5:58pm |
I had a dynamic work day and did okay handling my recent loss(?). Gosh, I dont really know if I have lost her or if I am on the cusp of winning her, you know? All I know is she has "work" to do related to her marriage and I am honoring NC. A long NC at that. Is it October yet? lol!
But the main point to this post? I am so utterly grateful to have found this site and the wonderful souls in it. It is a huge relief and I look forward to learning about everyone's stories and cheering them on. Thank you again for making me feel so welcomed. To community, here here! I found a soft place to land and do my coming out. Thank you all.
((hugs))
Roxy

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I hope you meet someone interesting. ; )
Sounds like you have an action packed summer planned. Don't forget to keep us posted when you can.
I can't wait until you are all the way out... of course... baby steps are good.
Sounds like you are starting to feel really good already as far as you have come. So you seem to be pacing it right for you.
I am excited for you Blue!!
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
LOL! And I used my real name and gave my real location! OMG. LOL! It is too funny. Yup I guess the Candians shared in my outing.
Anyway Wayne Dyer was so great. He was all matter of fact, Well (my name) you have to tell him, You are living a lie. Then we went on station break for ever. (inside I was saying no way, you are supposed to tell me it is the noble thing to do, not to say a thing, because how fair is it to him.) I was mad at Dyer for a few weeks.
What if people hear you that new you? That is such a funny story roxy.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Let me just chime in and say if I may, that while not all husbands are the same for sure,
"IMPO Having a g/f that will be happy to be on the side will take a very special woman..."
Thanks Caly for your words. And yes being "on the side" is not for everyone….not at all. I think that is why I will miss my girl so much. We clicked on so many levels including needing to tend to have our own lives (her Kids and H for her, and for me, my growing business which takes so much focus at this stage and H). Being an entrepenuer is so intensive at the begining stages. It was a LD relationship too. She did not want to play house with me in the future even if she divorced and that fit me. Even though there was space and time, we were so deeply connected, so intensely passionate connected. We would have the same dreams at night! She also needs, craves and loves alone time and much as I do. We both dont cling and are very independent minded women. Not to say we couldn’t get enough of the other, but we were not freaked out by space and time tending to our lives. That was just one element of our perfect fit.
Of course, I will tell you one thing: she was NOT "my side" but my CENTER. And now I miss my Center. I miss her so much. I know she is one in a billion. I don’t think I will find another love right now….deep mourning.
(((((((Roxy))))))))
We're so happy to have you here. I'm glad you feel safe talking here and that we can be part of your support system.
You are brave and strong. I like that you are independent and know what you want.
Thank you (((Ting))), Oh sweet Ting, I am hurting again. Reading some of the old emails and hurting.
Note to Self: Must stop reading old emails so early in the day. Ugh. I woke up at 5 a.m. to head for spin class and there were tears in my sleepy eyes. I must have cried in my sleep. What if I never hear from her. I am worried I wont let myself love again so openly...although it is my nature to be open. So open.
Which is probably when I outed myself to Wayne Dyer on radio i used my real first name and location. I thought, i cant lie to Wayne Dyer. I can use a moniker. LOL! I crack myself up at my own Dorkiness.
Thank God I have work and it is getting dynamic, because I could get so lost before October gets here.....I feel part of my heart is missing. I think it really is my FIRST LOVE. I have had crushes. She is MY FIRST LOVE. Life seems flat, even though I tend to be so passionate and up and positive. I got to fake it till I make it.
((((Roxy))))
Hope your day got better.
Thanks, Laurie for the hugs, help, and excitation! If you can't wait until I am all the way out, what happens then? I've already gotten the toaster, does the range come next when I am fully out; or maybe the diswasher??? lol
I am feeling good. Can I just tell you, though, that I was at a meeting about 2 hours ago with M-the one- and it would be so easy for me to go back to the easy friendship that we had. I can even tell it in her, sometimes she just slips and we roll our eyes at each other about something, or speak very nicely(more than being civil)to each other. Of course, I could just be doing a bit of wishful thinking here. I really tried not to speak to her at all today, even when she said hello. I just can't do this. I am weak and pitiful when it comes to this and normally I am pretty damn strong. I think I need to find somebody to distract me.
Hugs
Blue
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