My soft place

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
My soft place
38
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 5:58pm

I had a dynamic work day and did okay handling my recent loss(?). Gosh, I dont really know if I have lost her or if I am on the cusp of winning her, you know? All I know is she has "work" to do related to her marriage and I am honoring NC. A long NC at that. Is it October yet? lol!

But the main point to this post? I am so utterly grateful to have found this site and the wonderful souls in it. It is a huge relief and I look forward to learning about everyone's stories and cheering them on. Thank you again for making me feel so welcomed. To community, here here! I found a soft place to land and do my coming out. Thank you all.

((hugs))
Roxy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: roxy_blue
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 12:16am
A little anger is good for the soul sometimes. It helps to remove those emotional chains that bind you.
Glad to here you are dropping those chains and sorry she does not respect you enough to keep her mouth shut.
Hugs,
Laurie


Edited 6/9/2007 12:20 am ET by lauriedav
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
In reply to: roxy_blue
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 9:38am

I was the same way as a kid. I had friends but didn't hang out with them much outside of school. My parents didn't push me a lot, though, to get out and socialize. I wish they had nudged me a bit more.


Oh well, I've made up for it as an adult! lol


Hugs


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
In reply to: roxy_blue
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 2:11pm

Laurie,
Thanks, babe, I'm done with that one. Done, finished, caput, fini, over, Period.
Feels bad and good all at once. Got a new life to create and lookin' at it with eyes wide open.

Told my friend of 20 years this weekend. She's such a Republican(sorry to offend), but we got in this deep conversation and she wanted to know if I was happy and I responded that I was happier than I had been in a long time...and here's the reason why. I'm sure her brain has been exploding all day long, she may never call me again, but I don't think so. She's a good egg(had a major crush on her for a long time), and she just needs time to process. She told me that she thought she was okay, but she just doesn't want to see me holding hands with anybody. I guess a kiss in public would be way outta line, then. lol

Thanks for all you advice.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
In reply to: roxy_blue
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 2:12pm

Yep! We're just the lives of the party now, right? lol

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
In reply to: roxy_blue
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 7:11pm

"she just doesn't want to see me holding hands with anybody. " ....sigh...hard to hear (read) that one? Holding hands? ....i hope she supports you Blue..

hugs
Roxy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
In reply to: roxy_blue
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 8:16pm

Roxy,
I will find out tonight if she is supportive. I think tacit support will be there, but she really is a staid Republican. She does support stem cell research and women's reproductive rights, so she is about as far left as you can get for a Repub. I asked about same sex marriages and she hesitated. I knew she would. I told her that it was tough enough to find love in this life and if they happen to be of the same gender, who should care? We talked about civil unions and health care. I told her my daughter could put her boyfriend on her health care in CO as long as they could show cohabitation for a certain period of time. What would be the difference. She reluctantly agreed to that thought. See, I'm gonna be working on her for awhile and I think she will come around. I don't believe that my gf or partner and I will ever visit their house together. It would about kill her husband.

We both agreed that my dh was a nice guy and if he would just divorce me, that would settle a lot of problems. Dh and I are either too afraid to move right now or it's too easy to hold the staus quo. He certainly doesn't pay a lot of attention to me. BTW, he went to the hospital in Breckenridge on Friday night with altitude sickness. Now he is pulling a little tank of oxygen around with him until he gets back to Boulder. I think he thought he was dying. I would have thought that, too.

Whew, that's a lot of thinking for one night. Thanks for holding out the good thoughts.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
In reply to: roxy_blue
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 8:55pm
"Dh and I are either too afraid to move right now or it's too easy to hold the staus quo. " I hear you. Sometimes couples decide to live their own lives but stayed legally married. Divorce can be so costly. Sorry to hear about your DH feeling ill.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
In reply to: roxy_blue
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 9:20pm

My therapist calls it "leading parallel lives." The hurt and pain are minimal and the cost is relatively cheap. You know what will happen, though. One of us will find somebody and be ready to move on completely. I'm okay with that. It's being afraid to let go of raft and swim on your own. It's the big plunge.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA

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