My Therapy Session....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
My Therapy Session....
8
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 10:49am

So on Tuesday night I went to therapy. My therapist was surprised that I read the book that she suggested and talked to the lawyer in such a short period of time. I told her I turned in my resignation at work and I am leaving my marriage and moving to IN. She says I am the fastest decsion maker she has ever had in therapy.lol. She said she has a woman that has been trying to leave her husband for 10 years and she won't do it. She also said in that before I came to see her I was already halfway there with my decsion. She gave me all her contact info, and said she was sorry to see me go, but it was for the best. She told me if I needed help finding another therapist in IN, to let her know.

I am the type of person who does not like sitting on the fence about stuff. I like to be in control of my life, and the past few years I have felt like I have had no control what so ever. I am unhappy now, and danngit I deserve to be happy.

I already have a job lined up in IN for the short term. I am taking $5.00 per hour paycut, but like I said it is for short term only, just to have some sort of income coming in. Better than sitting home on my butt. Plus with this job I can take a couple of days and breathe when I get to IN, before I start working. This will be my in between job. Plus I am going to be living with my parents so my expenses are very minimal.

Things seem to be moving very rapidly and also very slowly at the same time. Ever get that feeling? I am doing well. I haven't cried in a few days. I am trying to be happier, by looking forward to the future.

I will be leaving on the 25th of June, right after STBXH leaves for work in the morning. My son will already be safely in IN with my parents.

I have alot of sorting though stuff (spring cleaning is what I am telling STBXH) and I will be mailing boxes of my stuff this next week to my parents house.

I am only taking my car and what it can hold in it. He can have the rest.

By the way did I tell you I absolutely HATE moving... uck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 11:05am

Good for

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 11:40am

I will be looking for a new therapist when I get to IN and get settled. I still have unresolved issues I need to work out .

DS only knows that he is going to IN for the summer. When I show up on the 25th, I will sit down and have a talk with him. I discussed with my therapist how to approach the situation with him because he is only 8. She gave me some very helpful and good advice. She told me to tell him that Daddy and I need a break for awhile and we are going to stay in IN with Nana and Papa. As everything progress's I will just keep him informed of what is going on. She told me not to overload him with information. She also said that he probably realizes that me and his daddy are not getting along. I am still taking one step at a time, one day at a time,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 1:57pm

Amazing BIG steps Brown Eyes! Good for you!

Hugs
Roxy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 3:08pm

Sounds like you've got a great plan for handling things with DS.


Hugs


Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 7:14pm

((Browneyes)),

Nice work and I am proud and amazed by you. I wish I could be as strong and bold as you are. You inspire with your perservance and determination. Awesome.

Can I ask you about your in-laws? How is this going to settle out, do you think?

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 9:44am

I don’t consider myself a strong person. I am just sick of all the crap. I am tired of being unhappy. I am tired of trying to make a marriage work when I am the only who is working on it. I have hit my bottom with this relationship. The only thing that gives me happiness is to think that soon I will be getting out. It kind of feels like I am in jail and I am going to be free soon.

Hmmm… my in-laws. Well let’s just say my STBXH’s family is a quirky bunch. I think they will feel like I have betrayed him by leaving and taking his son away from him. It doesn’t matter what the story is. My STBXH will tell them something different and of course they will side with him. My MIL will be bold enough to call me at my parent’s house when she finds all this out. I am sure that conversation is going to go well . I honestly don’t care what his family thinks of me anymore. I have decided to live my life for me and my son only. I need to do what is best for both of us. In this world you can’t make everyone else happy. You can’t make everyone else like you. You can only make yourself happy. Right now that is what I am trying to accomplish.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 2:49pm

"I honestly don’t care what his family thinks of me anymore. I have decided to live my life for me and my son only. I need to do what is best for both of us. In this world you can’t make everyone else happy. You can’t make everyone else like you. You can only make yourself happy."


That is SO true. I think before you do something like this, you have to accept that you may disappoint and anger some people

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 7:40pm

Please Browneyes,
Don't sell yourself short! You ARE a strong person. A weaker person would stay in the unhappy relationship and just slog along. I takes a very strong person to cut the ties, leave the job, set things up the way you have and then walk the walk.

Take pride in yourself and I am proud of you, too.

((((major hugs))))

Blue

BLUE DIA