How do I unhook?
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How do I unhook?
| Thu, 06-07-2007 - 6:29pm |
How to I let go. I am getting bogged down in too puch pain. I think i need to watch it or I will be in not a good place by October. Any tips. I go from denial (holding on to the idea she will come back) to grief to confusion. I feel I need to talk to her. It is driving me crazy. She asked for NC. I should honor that? Do email her BFF who knows it all and ask for a phone call? Do I just decide it is over? Can you tell I am confused and hurting. Ugh. What do i do?

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(((((((Roxy))))))),
this is too weird. I am having the exact same issue today, except today she spoke to me, and a little silent joke passed between us when I am supposed to have NC, also.
I think that the days that I have NC, begin to make it easier for me. At first, I had an awful time. I couldn't work right, my umpiring really was horrible, and my family life was getting even worse with my kids. My dh bought me tickets to see Tim McGraw and Faith Hill because he thought I was going off the deep end. He thought it was all about the umpiring. I couldn't tell him anything and that was equally difficult.
Seeing her three or four days out of 7 is unbearable. You know that "time heals" crap? It may have some real meaning and value. As the days go on, I feel better and better when I don't have any contact, yet I long for contact.
I have asked a mutual friend and my therapist (her husband goes to the same one as me) to mediate a meeting. I just need to get some things on the table. Neither one is interested in that.
A couple of weeks ago the pain was so intense, I posted here and people were very supportive. You know, it's almost, no, it IS a physical pain. There's just nothing to do and no way to turn, it seems. I KNOW, sister, just how you feel. If you were here, I would wrap you in a big, bear hug of knowing what you are feeling.
Keep on keepin' on is the best thing I can tell you. Try and focus, but I know that is soooo much easier said than done. Sometimes I just want to howl at the night it hurts so much. All right, this is probably way more than you needed to know, but it is so, and I know that a lot of women here know just how we feel and tell us to just keep moving so nobody can get a good shot at you.
Hugging you close
Blue
Hi, thank you for your words. Actually it is exactly what i needed. Well almost, I am dying for a talk from her. Our last few contacts were email, and you know how much can get lost there.
I am in physical pain (you are right) and no amount of spinning, lifting or running puts a dent in it for long. Here is the thing. It feels like its GETTING worse and I am worried.
Just saw you pic you cutie. Thank you for posting directions to it.
Whaaa! I need a plan....A need real steps. She left me with nothing to unhook with. Nothing bad or horrible ever said. I dont know how to unhook from plain goodness and love.
I fell lost LOST
Roxy
Maybe soon i will get the guts to post a pic somehow.
((((((((Roxy)))))))))
Once again I wish I had a magic wand
Roxy,
I just gotta tell you. If you keep calling me sweet and cute, I'm gonna have to stand in your backyard and throw pebbles at your window until you let me in or you come out!!! lol
Blue
Would it be unreasonable to ask for one last phone call? NC was asked (instituted) for via email. No voices and I think i need a real talk. You know, I feel I deserve that. I dont know how to hold onto OCtober, It feels like I am hanging. You are right, if I knew she chose to move on I could truly send my best wishes...and start to heal. I seem to be caught up in torture. Sheer torture and each day it gets worse.
I would be kind and gentle on phone. I want to know what i meant to her. Were they just things said. I am so in the dark. I dont want to put her on the spot...but I need a sense of healing and closure and making amends for ...? no being what she needed?
LOL!!! Danger...Danger...vulnerable heart here...kidding. LOL! And i would probaly open my window you know, look down and climb down. he he he
Oh you had to have the same darn birthday as her, right? I'd send you my pic but that could spell trouble. Maybe I am not your type though. 5'4', big dark chocolate colored eyes, slender face, long dark brown hair, minimal none fussy makeup, trim but curvy, strong legs and slender long arms, I work out all the time and stay away from junk food. Go ahead, say it. I am not your type. Say it with me. LOL!
Roxy,
I so want that last phone call or face to face talk. I will tell you what my therapist and a school guidance counselor both told me. They said that I had to respect her wishes and that she would come to me, if and when she is ready. I am so dying to just pop into her room and say, "Hey, can we talk for a few minutes?", but I don't. Part of that is what the therapist said and part is that I don't really want to know if it is the complete cut off, EVEN though I know that is what I probably need. We did not separate under such good terms as you an K, however.
If you do decide to call, I would like to know the outcome, because it would help me make the first move if you are successful.
Hugs
Blue
5'3", short dark hair, strong arms and legs, built to last, well, you got the pic, even if the uniform is not what you expected. Next time we talk like this, I am taking it off the board!!! lol
oh Blue, I think i should follow what your T said. Not because of the outcome. I can face it. It is the not really knowing that is so painful. Oh my goodness. I am not afraid that she will say no. The SILENCE is killing me. The hanging on. I cant start healing or am I in denial? I am usually one to face facts you know.
Now I dont know what to do and I hate not KNOWING what to do. Anyway, i guess it is good for business. Because i seem to be growing it.
What to do?? what to do? Does anybody have a majic 8 ball? LOL!
Danger Danger Danger!! INDEED...Did I mention people id me as fem..is that bad?...but not the fuzzy ultra type, nope. Think natural. No fake long nails on me.
A gril with a touch of fem is not your type? You are not going say it with me????? Pretty please with sugar on top??? Oh i did NOT mind the uniform at all (blush).
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