How do I unhook?
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How do I unhook?
| Thu, 06-07-2007 - 6:29pm |
How to I let go. I am getting bogged down in too puch pain. I think i need to watch it or I will be in not a good place by October. Any tips. I go from denial (holding on to the idea she will come back) to grief to confusion. I feel I need to talk to her. It is driving me crazy. She asked for NC. I should honor that? Do email her BFF who knows it all and ask for a phone call? Do I just decide it is over? Can you tell I am confused and hurting. Ugh. What do i do?

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Hey Roxy,
As I said this morning, I fully support you in whatever course of action you take because only YOU know what is going to be best for you.
((Caly)) Thank you so much!!! How beautiful. Yes i would love to see your website. Is it in your profile? I would lobe to check it out!
Oh i am going to fall in the the arms of Universe and let it guide me. You know, the best part of this whole thing, it made me a better person. I have gotten a more compassionate heart and free of pride. Loving her and then asking how I should love her and even willing to lover in a higher was than romantic. The kind of love that puts her highest good ahead of my ego needs.
Ummm so grateful to know she is on this planet at the same time I am and that our souls will be linked forever. No matter what she is a part of me. Maybe she always was and so my soul recongnised her and rose high. I miss caly, I miss her words. I miss her.
I wonder, i dont think i will get over her. I dont think i will.
((Caly)),
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
I had forgotten this from my youth. Thank you. I needed this tonight.
Hugs and Love,
Blue
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
C >^. A .
Oh Cat thank you... yes i wondered...does NC reflect her not caring or is she just having a difficult time with her own coming out to herself. She has so much to lose she tells me...i dont want to represent "loss" to her..i wanted to be happiness and bliss, not loss and fear. H provides a really good lifestyle and she can have time with her kids who are in elementary school. Oh, i really dont fault her. She feels torn and needs space to figure it all out. If she does not love me back, that is no crime. Love should not have to scare you silly and mean so much loss I guess. Then there is her H who is crying his heart out now that he might lose her due to orientation, (that is one of the typical reactions BTW, her tough, cold, unconnnected H has turned a new leaf and is being a different man). I think it is easy to project how one might handle that, then it happens, she shut down. I get how hard that must be.
I hope she has enough courage to tell me "it's over and drop it" so i get the clear message if she feels that. I cant seem to let go. I cant seem to be on the planet of any where near the galaxy of letting go.
And yes, Blue is such a hottie isn't she?! She seems like such a nice person. I hope she heals too, but i think she has a real good shot at a great summer. Me, i am way too deep in heartconfusion, denial, holding on. I am sure i am out of commission for a long, long while. God i really love her, and she gave nothing to use to be angry at. That is the hard part. Yikes i did not one to be lost and pinning forever....
Your welcome Roxy!
Its a wonderful piece that I found in a magazine when I was teenager and cut out and hung on my wall.
Laurie,
Nope, I don't get many compliments or they feel stilted. "You look nice tonight" is the best he can muster and I think it's because he thinks he's supposed to be saying it. Once in awhile it would have been nice to hear "God, you're hot." or something along those lines. He did tell me he was proud of my umping, but I have waited 36 years to hear that. And how come he would never watch me umpire for 33 years? Anyhow, more is in play here, obviously, than just coming out.
Hugs
Blue
Dam, you women don't talk about me behind my back, but right in front of my face. Gonna enlarge my head and stoke my ego here.
I'm right up the road....a flight is only $59 dollars....Could head your way in July by car...
I'll wait to see if you can get your head on right, however. Meantime, I'm having fun with it!!!
Hugs
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