Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2007
Confused
3
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 3:43pm

Hi,

I am fairly new to this but I thought I would try to write this out while it is foremost in my mind. I have been feeling really depressed and confused about someone I met. This person told me that she was bi-but was coming onto me when we first started hanging out with each other. I then took her to meet a fellow friend and now she says she wants to be with him. It hurts because I thought that the two of us would end up being together.

The confusion is that I let my very reserved guard down and now I feel like I have been played. Any advice about how to deal with this would be appreciated. I know deep down that the drama that has enfolded from meeting this person is something I don't need in my life right now. I have a lot of issues to work on and just finding someone who won't play me is something I would really like. I hope I am making sense here.

I am so confused about all this, about letting go and just having this person as a friend. If that is even possible.

Raven_Song1973

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
In reply to: raven_song1973
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 7:09pm

Hi Raven,


Life is unpredictable, and we make friends, etc with open ended possibilities... we simply do not know where it will go. It takes two people to forge a relationship, and only one to end it, for whatever reason they do so. It may well hurt, it may leave one feeling used, but the best way to deal with it is to move on and let go. It's not easy, in fact it takes a lot of work, but moving forward and not letting it get you down is in your best interest.


Just my opinion, but I'd not broach the subject with either of them, and would simply go about my life.


*hugs*

Sometimes
Sometimes
I see much more than's good for me
The first thing that's on my mind
The last place I look each time


~
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
In reply to: raven_song1973
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 2:58pm

Hi Raven!


I have to agree with Nelle. Unfortunately, your friend is not on the same page as you about everything, so I would move on and invest more time and energy into working through your issues and avoding any unnecessary drama. If you feel like you need more closure, maybe you could talk to your friend, tell her how you feel and that you don't like being played, and then move on.


I'm sure it hurts, though. In time, hopefully the pain will ease. I wish you all the best.


Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
In reply to: raven_song1973
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 6:35pm

((Raven)),
Although I am not one who should be giving out advice about letting relationships go, I do agree with TiNG and Nell. I am not sure how clear you were to your bi-friend about your feelings toward her and your relationship with the guy friend.

If you feel the need to tell her how you feel, the being played part, your interest in her, I think that is okay, and be prepared to move on. I also wonder how close you were to the guy? Just a friend to me means that there are no strings attached to the relationship other than friendship.

I am not sure you want either of them as "friends" right now. They could be forging their relationship right in front of you and that might be too much of a hurt for you. Think about what you expect to gain from all of this and then try and make a decision. I know that it is way easier said than done.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA