So i got an email

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
So i got an email
12
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 6:00pm

I got an email from her yesterday. The day following the break up. I guess she felt bad??

Here is what she said..

"{BFF} said that you sent a really nice email to her yesterday, thank you for that. I told her about our conversation. Any way you could call me now? I don't know if I handled the conversation yesterday very well. I want to know if you are ok."

I had email her BFF this right after talk (the jarring talk). She had helped (talked K into breaking NC). This is what I had emailed.

" Subject line: Thank you.
I had not realized that she and I had been on such different places emotionally. Oh {BFF's Name}, thank you. When she described things to me how she saw them, I see now she has moved on and they were just words. I think she is doing what is best for her and i agree with both of you now, how could it have possibly been me. Feeling more than a little silly. Thank you for your help.

Thank you for you patience and kindness you showed me.

Warm regards to you
Me"

I have not responded. I think she wants me to call to make herself feel a little better about all the things she said. I dont think she is having a change of heart by any means. Just wants to feel better and have me say that I am okay. I am not okay being treated the ways she handle the talk of the terms of NC. I think it would be not the smartest thing to call just so she can restate that is over and feel better. She has the option so saying it on an email.

I thought i'd get feeback from all of you. Thanks.

Roxy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 3:57pm

{{{{{Roxy, roxy}}}}


Just checkin in with a hug & a whisper in your ear to stay strong.


Don't email her back.

Spring SiggyBlinkie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 4:39pm

Oh thank you Storm. No, it is a good idea to not speak again with her. I am clear on that she wants things over. Not in denial and I am not blaming her. This coming out to self is hard and then being married with young kids is hard, so i am going to be generous and not hold it against her. I really dont want to hate her you know, that will only hurt me back too. In fact i hope my heart does not get all jade and hardened. I really have to watch --it because it shook my ability to trust myself.

SHe has my emails and if she ever wants to clarify things she can. What i will not do for her, is tell her I am okay and pretend it was not hurtful which is what i bet she wants to hear so she can feel better and have it all tidy and controlled. I just wont put myself through that because it would not be emotionally responsible.

Anyway for a good long time (maybe a full year or two) I am taking myself OUT of the romantic arena. NO WOMEN FOR ME for a while! I think i need to examine why i consistently have chosen women who have not been good for me. Every single one of them. The other 3 were crushes. This last one was/is love. But it is so distracting and chaotic and i need to focus on business for a while and also do some growing/healing/counseling on why I have repeated this dynamic. The common denominator is me. I have to look at myself here. Ugh.

Thanks for the sweet thoughts and support.

Roxy

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