A Ringing Sensation...
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A Ringing Sensation...
| Sat, 06-23-2007 - 9:36pm |
I have a very serious question, but I can't even believe I am asking. I am looking for pros and cons to this with reasons why.
I want to know if you think I should remove my wedding rings when I go to my union event this weekend or leave them on. I don't want to misrepresent myself, but I don't want to put people off. Okay, I know this is weird and it sounds really awful, but please remember I am new to all of this and am trying to find my way. Is this a terrible thought? Should I even consider it? I don't even want to ask my therapist this question on Tuesday, so I'm asking you.
Please be nice and break it to me gently.
Hugs
Blue

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I agree with those who said take them off. Of course, you'll want to be honest when the opportunity presents itself, but I do think you've already moved on in a lot of ways.
I didn't wear my rings after I had DD2. I had gained so much weight and never lost it all. They wouldn't fit.
Hugs
Yeah, but did you not try to get them resized because you thought you would lose the weight or had you moved on and it was just as easy not to?
Hugs
Blue
Honestly I thought I would lose the weight until close to the end. Sounds like this is a very symbolic thing for you and takes you another step closer towards coming out to your husband. Baby steps, you know?
Hugs
Oh, Blue,
I know how hard this question is.
k, yep.
Blue
Hey, thanks, Storm. Been waiting for your posting. They are already off. I took them off for my last tournament and my fingers have been to swollen to put them back on. At least that is my story right now, and I am sticking to it. lol
You guys are right, it is pretty symbolic. I used to have to take them off for judo, though and that was never a problem. The last time I had them off was about 2 years ago and we were robbed. It was only by shear luck that the thieves didn't see them. I have put them somewhere safe for now.
I feel like I am now leading an open double life....
Hi Blue. I have been wanting to reply to this one.
You know how fast I have moved on so many things since I started posting here. I have not worn my rings quite a bit in the last couple of months. It is totally symbolic. It was also practice for me, I think. I wanted to see how it would feel not to wear them. It was weird, but also felt more honest to me.
I think you should take them off. I really respect how much thought you put into all of your moves. I think your style will leave little room for doubt on your part when you make the big moves. Me, I move fast, then I proceed directly into- "Whoa-what have I done?" Then I cry harder than I ever thought possible, walk around in a daze, write in my journal, go to a kickboxing class, cry some more, go to a weight lifting class, fight the urge to bang my head against the tile floor, then turn and look in the mirror and say "you did the right thing-stop being so hard on yourself!" We all have our own style!
Have fun!
Passion
Thanks for your support, Passion. The rings are off and will probably be off for the summer. I may put them back on when I visit my mom, unless I forget them at home. God, she wll notice, so I'll haul them along with me. I was going to tell my mom, but my friend S told me that she thought my mom would tell everybody in the family. Other posters here have had their mom out them to family and I want to do that myself. So, I will talk to my therapist about it tomorrow.
Lol about the making a move and then saying "Whoa...." Even when I take my little baby steps and tell somebody, I always say, "Now, I can't unring a bell." Then I always have to call them later to be reassured that they won't tell anybody, even though I know I can't control them once I've opened my mouth. I think I have chosen my people wisely, so far. Who really knows, though.
Different styles make the world go round. I wish I had your courage to just "go" like that. I told my therapist about 3 years ago that I would tell my dh on my deathbed. THAT has certainly changed. I want it to be in passing conversation...."Hey, hon, have I mentioned lately that I am gay(lesbian, whatever). Yeah, I really am very attracted to women, just like you!!" You think that will fly? lol Then he can do whatever he feels comfortable doing, within reason.
Hugs
Blue
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http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
That was suggested by my therapist this morning. Of course, she wanted me to fly down and tell him.
I think this is a face to face thing don't you. I think a call might be the chicken's way out. It's way easier, though...
Hugs
Blue
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