I am missing her ...UGH

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
I am missing her ...UGH
20
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 10:26pm

I wish i was not missing her...but i am. I wish she'd contact me even thought it is probably best she does not.. I thought maybe posting would help. I am trying to remember how she sounded on our last conversation so i dont do that stupid longing thing for someone who does not want me..ugh!

Well i am sleepy so that helps too, i can sleep away the sadness... nite

Roxy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 7:58pm

that helps...thanks...

:-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 8:20pm

Thanks BLUE....OMG i think i have been intellectualizing...to cope and now I am feeling....DEEP LOSS...yes at times anger too...she said trust me to be there...we always said no matter what we valued the friendship.....i let her in...i chose to trust her...

Ugh

Roxy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 9:24pm

Uh huh, I hear you.

I got you wrapped up in a huge Bluediamond hug right now.

It's gonna be all right.....

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 9:27pm
Thanks Blue...i hope so...i wonder..i think it has affected my ability to trust some more...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 9:52pm

Yes, it probably has.

Don't worry about that tonight. First, you need to get past this ugly feeling.

It takes a long time to build the trust back. I know a little something of that, too. Then there's the part that has a lock on your heart 'cause you NEVER want to feel this way again. I think you just need a some more time to heal, maybe a lot more. What I have noticed is that you are not cycling through this as often as you have been.

I don't know when it really goes away. I think that Cat said that it's always there somewhere lurking, just popping up when you least expect it.

Keep hold of yourself, the inside self.

It's an early day for me tomorrow. 5am so that I can work out and make my first game at 8am. I need to be there at 7:30.

I'll check in on you in the morning.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 12:57am
Yes Roxy

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 6:48pm

Is this a porno site? I dont think this is very funny. It actually mean.

Roxy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:16pm

Okay, that must have been bad. Glad I missed it. Never saw that name before.

You okay?

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:24pm

Aww sweet of you to ask.. it think it was a porno link. I did not click on it because i did not want to get computer viruses or something...

Yeah I am good. Better than yesterday. Had a really very focused time on work and only cried just once....but really for a minute. I have been pushing thoughts of her away to day. I thought to myself...i bet I think about her more than she does me, and I should just stop it. Just stop. I talked to a friend to day. She said, Cat probably meant everything she said, but later got so AFRAID, it just freaked her out...the potential loss of her life as it is.

I know she is a lesbian. I think she knows it too....enough thinking about her...

bedtime...5 am wake-up and then to spin..

Nite sweet blue.

Hugs

Roxy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:25pm

Aw thank Cat...sigh.....it will get better...

hugs

Roxy

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