I am missing her ...UGH
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I am missing her ...UGH
| Mon, 06-25-2007 - 10:26pm |
I wish i was not missing her...but i am. I wish she'd contact me even thought it is probably best she does not.. I thought maybe posting would help. I am trying to remember how she sounded on our last conversation so i dont do that stupid longing thing for someone who does not want me..ugh!
Well i am sleepy so that helps too, i can sleep away the sadness... nite
Roxy

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that helps...thanks...
:-(
Thanks BLUE....OMG i think i have been intellectualizing...to cope and now I am feeling....DEEP LOSS...yes at times anger too...she said trust me to be there...we always said no matter what we valued the friendship.....i let her in...i chose to trust her...
Ugh
Roxy
Uh huh, I hear you.
I got you wrapped up in a huge Bluediamond hug right now.
It's gonna be all right.....
Blue
Yes, it probably has.
Don't worry about that tonight. First, you need to get past this ugly feeling.
It takes a long time to build the trust back. I know a little something of that, too. Then there's the part that has a lock on your heart 'cause you NEVER want to feel this way again. I think you just need a some more time to heal, maybe a lot more. What I have noticed is that you are not cycling through this as often as you have been.
I don't know when it really goes away. I think that Cat said that it's always there somewhere lurking, just popping up when you least expect it.
Keep hold of yourself, the inside self.
It's an early day for me tomorrow. 5am so that I can work out and make my first game at 8am. I need to be there at 7:30.
I'll check in on you in the morning.
Hugs
Blue
C >^. A .
Is this a porno site? I dont think this is very funny. It actually mean.
Roxy
Okay, that must have been bad. Glad I missed it. Never saw that name before.
You okay?
Blue
Aww sweet of you to ask.. it think it was a porno link. I did not click on it because i did not want to get computer viruses or something...
Yeah I am good. Better than yesterday. Had a really very focused time on work and only cried just once....but really for a minute. I have been pushing thoughts of her away to day. I thought to myself...i bet I think about her more than she does me, and I should just stop it. Just stop. I talked to a friend to day. She said, Cat probably meant everything she said, but later got so AFRAID, it just freaked her out...the potential loss of her life as it is.
I know she is a lesbian. I think she knows it too....enough thinking about her...
bedtime...5 am wake-up and then to spin..
Nite sweet blue.
Hugs
Roxy
Aw thank Cat...sigh.....it will get better...
hugs
Roxy
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