Thurs. Thoughts....What's it like?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thurs. Thoughts....What's it like?
19
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 7:51am

Being a Lesbian? fem_ring.gif


I know that sounds like a silly question but I thought it might be fun to discuss.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 4:31pm

Hi Caly!
Ok, I'll go first. This is all new for me as you know. So all I can say is that the best part for me so far is being at peace with myself about many things,thoughts I have suppressed for so many years. Accepting of yourself is powerful. I am finally beginning to be the real me.
The hardest part is not having anyone to talk to about it since I haven't come out to anyone yet. Not so sure where to go from here. My question to all is, how do you approach someone you think is a lesbian but not sure. If you saw me, one would never suspect I was. I feel like once one person finds out then everyone will find out and I am not sure I am ready for that just yet.
Thanks for chance to air my feelings Caly.

mich

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 7:04pm

What a great topic....I can't wait to read others replies. But anywho, here's mine!

I think that the best part for me is feeling like I'm finally accepting myself for who I am. I've always longed to be in a relationship with a woman, but didn't want to let others down, or to feel like what I was doing was wrong! It's so great to finally live my life for me and not be so concerned with what others may think about it. I finally feel like this is anything but wrong; in fact, it feels perfectly right! It's a huge relief to finally let myself be with a woman and experience all the feelings I knew I had within me. Although I've been in other lesbian relationships in the past, I never really let myself be in them. I always felt like it was just for the moment, to let myself have a moment of release. This relationship that I am in now is wonderful, and it's so great to feel this way! And even though I hope that this is a lasting relationship, I also know that if for some reason it were to end, I would be in a lesbian relationship again....because I am lesbian! Wow....that feels so liberating to say!!

Now for the hardest part.... I think it's most difficult coming out to people. Not the general public, or even most friends, but coming out to those I'm close to. I hate that some family members aren't accepting of my choices. It's hard knowing that people like my mom won't allow my partner to come to family functions because she doesn't approve of our relationship. So that's the most difficult. Luckily, I've also had very positive coming out experiences. I just told my dad recently (parent's are divorced) and he said he was more than happy for me! He laughed and said I never did have great relationships with men! Gee, I wonder why?!?! And I found out my step-mom quit her church because her minister was too conservative on the subject of homosexuality. She is very liberal and accepting of the homosexual lifestyle. So, just when I think that I have a tough road to hoe, I find that there are people I am close with that are happy for me. My girlfriend and I also visited my best friend and her husband recently. It was funny because after hanging out all day with them, her husband said, "Wow, I think you two blew my whole lesbian fantasy! You two are just like any other couple!" I thought that was funny. He was able to see that it's not that different!

Annz

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 7:18pm

HI Mich!


Thanks so much for starting us off.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 7:28pm

Hey Annz!

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:11pm

I agree with you about the being at peace with yourself. Sometimes I think that is all I really want. Then other times, I just want to shout it out, but that will never do. The few people who I am out to or was outted to are very nice. It did seem like the dam broke slightly when I first came out, but I have stopped the leak, at least temporarily. One of the problems is that you know you can't control what the other person will do. I always have to call them and get reassurance they won't tell anybody else. Who really knows what people are saying. My being gay could be the worst kept secret at work! There are nine people all together. I think this will be it until I tell dh and dks. Most of the time it is fine and right now it is all so new to them. Sometime in our converstions they roll around to the , "AND HOW ARE YOU DOING?" question. Imagine that important statement spoken in a hushed, deep voice. So, I tell them. I'm doing fine, thank you. The closer the friend, the more I have to say, so it is nice having a few people who care enough to ask. Some might find me moving in with them for a few days. lol

Take your time, girl. You have lots of it. You will know, at least that is what they tell me.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:13pm

Caly,
Thanks for the advice. Never was good with the "approaching" part. Kinda shy at first (although I have come along way.) ;) I wish it was as easy as you all make it here. ~sigh~.

mich

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 10:24pm

Ill let you know how things work out this week. Maybe I won't have to approach anybody, maybe somebody will approach me and make it easy. I'll watch for the steps and send them along!

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:03pm


Hello all, for those that are getting to know me, and for those that know me, please just read....

Well, when I discovered my sexual orientation of being a lesbian, I heaved a great sigh of relieve, at last I didn't have to wonder what I was anymore. Well, the next step I took was to find out where there were other lesbians. Well, I was an avid reader and I went into town every weekend. I found a bookstore that was run by two gay men, and I asked them where I could meet other women like me, well, he suggested, try going to a softball game, or (I came out when I was 18, when I got older)go to a bar called the Renaissance. The Renaissance was my second home. I had become a fixture there. Well, unfortunately, the bar had closed and it's now a parking lot! Roflolmaoooooooo! Anyway, I met two of my sweethearts there, one I've been in a very long term, off and on relationship with one, and a 5 year relationship with another.

But, as time went by, I came to terms with my real being. When I finally had a laptop computer, and then finally internet access, I looked for a "place" where I knew there had to be more lesbians. Well, I came to Lesbian Life through one of our sister sites. Women.com

Well, I've been here ever since and I've enjoyed "meeting" lesbians from all over the United States, a few in Europe, one in New Zealand, and from other places in the world. I've fallen in love with a few and... unfortunately, had my heart broken. Well, as the saying goes, "It's better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all."

I've met at least two or three lovely ladies, in real life, and I've been looking forward to meeting more of the ladies....but in time.

Well, I've jabbered enough, lol!

Thanks and hugs,

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2007
Thu, 06-28-2007 - 11:35pm

Blue,
I want to shout it out too! Heres my scenerio; I work in an office which happens to be in a mall. In passing, I see this girl a few times a week and I so want to say something to her. Heres the problem, There is only 5 of us in the office and they are more like family to me than my real family . I am very aware of how they feel about gays/lesbians(which is not good comments) and it worries me to think of how they will react if this girl started coming into the office for whatever reason. Am I ready for the questions? Part of me is and wants to get it all out in the open but the other part of me hesitates because I think it would change the dynamics of our friendships. Then again, if they really are my friends it's not supposed to matter. I guess, worst case scenerio is that I find a new job where noone knows me and I can be myself from the very start. May not be a bad thing since our hours were cut! Who knows! I feel so childish sometimes rambling on like this. Sorry!

By the way, in the short time you have been here, you have made amazing progress!! Keep up the good work!

Have fun at the union gig and bring back some pointers for me. I need all the help I can get! LOL

mich

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Fri, 06-29-2007 - 1:42pm

That's really great that your father has been supportive. I was surprised when my aunt and uncle took the news about me well. The are super conservative and homophobic, but they are still accepting of me. They have even said that Caly is welcome in their home anytime.


You'll get there! How's your DD?


Hugs


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