It's so hard sometimes.............

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
It's so hard sometimes.............
27
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 7:51pm

Edited by Shannon




Edited 7/16/2007 1:31 am ET by irishowl
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 7:52pm

Okay, Shannon, mean people just suck.

In her defense, maybe she is wound just a little tight and has other issues. It still isn't right to say what she said and I hope you went to speak to her.

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 7:55pm

I did speak to her and she apologized. It bothered me a little bit, but I have a thick skin and I've heard much worse. Not directed at me, just in general society. 99% of my coworkers are awesome, and alot of my coworkers are gay. :lol:

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 8:30pm

I do regret my vent, I feel like maybe it was taken the wrong way. I am also extremely hormonal and tired these days, so I may not be seeing some things in the clearest light. However, since I did post it I thought I should do an update.

We went to Shelley's pain manegment appointment today, it went ok. He said the MRI looks good (we already knew that). He cannot really explain what's causing this. He thinks it's a major inflammation of the sacral illiac joint. So, he is going to inject cortisone into those joint spaces bilaterally. He's also going to do Botox injections into the muscles that are spasming so much to calm them down. He gave her something stronger to help her sleep. So, we are waiting for the insurance to approve all this and then we can get started.

Mentally, I'm doing ok. I'm just trying very hard to focus on all the good positive things in my life. I'm trying to not focus on things that are out of my control. I have been very down lately, having a pity party for one. But, there are alot of positive things in my life and that is what I need to remember and focus on. But, I will say that I almost lost it at the Dr's office today. Shelley told the Dr that she has no life right now and that she's too young to live like this and she just wants her old life back........my heart broke. Shelley can be a tough egg to crack, but she has a very tender side and she was just wearing her pain on her sleeve. When you love someone you want to take care of them, to make things better. This isn't something I can make better and that's hard on me. But, I do have hope that this will get better. Hope is a powerful thing. With it you can see the light at the end of the ugliest tunnel, but without hope there is nothing. So, I choose hope.

Anyway, that's the update.

Shannon

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Registered: 10-01-2003
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 8:25pm

Shelley's pain management specialist sounds like a gem! Before Lou was diagnosed, she felt several of the doctors belittled and asked her to ignore her pain! I'm very glad Shelley's doctor has a plan to help :)


I never know how to behave when Lou's feeling at her worst. I tend to mistake her quiet suffering as irritation at me!! Then she'll think her illness is doing my head in... I laugh now, but we each get so sensitive, trying to cope. Only talking balances us out again.


Tell her Lou & Nony send hugs and hope your insurance sorts itself quickly ~


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 8:45pm

You have thicker skin than I do, sister. But, I must say, that was an awesome thing to talk to her. I think I would have been too confrontational. I need to learn tact. You must very kind and persuasive. Good Job.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 1:52am

I don't know about kind and persuasive...........:lol: I've always believed if someone says or does something that is wrong and you say or do nothing, you are just as guilty as they are. I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt, sometimes people say stupid things without realizing the impact. I do consider this woman a casual friend, she knows Shelley and I and we've always gotten along ok. She was just frustrated and had a really stupid moment. And, if it was more than that and she has some deep seated issues with gay people......well it's her issue and not mine. She still can't talk like that in a professional setting. My workplace has a zero tolerance policy for discrimination of any kind.

Now, 15 years ago I would have gotten all up in her face and acted like a wacko. I've mellowed with age.......:lol:

Shannon

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Registered: 04-08-2007
Thu, 07-19-2007 - 1:50pm

Hey Nony,

Thanks again for the support. I'm sorry that you guys have to deal with this also. We are very lucky to have a really good primary Dr who referred us to the pain manegment specialist. I think a good Dr makes all the differance in the world.

When Shelley is feeling her worst I try to follow her cues. Sometimes she wants to be alone, so I give her space. Sometimes she just wants me to hold her, and I'm always happy to do that. She does get snippy with me sometimes. My response to her is always the same "I know you are miserable but don't take it out on me, I'm trying to help you." I don't take it personally, but I wasn't put on this planet to be anyone's emotional punching bag.

Shannon

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