Hello to all! I am new ..Help pls...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2007
Hello to all! I am new ..Help pls...
26
Sun, 07-22-2007 - 6:26pm

I hope this isn't inapropriate for this forum, but I have some questions I never thought I'd be asking in a kazillion years. I never have considered myself to be a lesbian. I have always been single, and the only relationships I've ever had have been with men. I just turned 50 a few months ago.

I am confused. I think I may be in love (or is it just infatuation?) with a woman I know. I have known her for almost 2 years, and I work with her almost every day. We have become good friends and help each other out frequently. She's a single Mom, and in her words, "strictly dickly". We are on the exact same wavelength on many things and both share a similar sense of humor. Until recently that was pretty much it, good buddies, work well with each other, that kind of thing.

What happened? I don't know... part of it started when she got her hair cut, I think. She is cute to begin with, short and chubby with sparkling blue eyes and big boobs, a quick laugh, a kind heart, and a wicked sense of humor. The hair cut really brightened and enhanced her features.

My problem. The nature of our job means that we work in very close physical proximity to each other. Recently when that occurs I am all at once stimulated, embarrassed, ashamed, entranced, and extremely happy! It makes my day just to be around her, but then I also am horribly guilty for having these thoughts.

The trouble here of course is she is straight, and I always thought I was, too. What gives? Am I having some sort of mid-life turnabout or something?

I sure would appreciate any advice anyone might have.

Edited 7/22/2007 6:50 pm ET by rosebud_fl




Edited 7/22/2007 6:52 pm ET by rosebud_fl
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 10:08am

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Welcome, Rosebud! Glad you found us and decided to post. You've gotten some great advice already. One thing I have learned is that many good things happen because you're in the right place at the right time and good things happen when you least expect them to. So, don't give up and keep paying attention to your feelings.


Glad you're here!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 8:39pm

Thanks a lot for the great input, Blue! I really have been doing a lot of thinking and sorting of feelings; I am trying to be totally honest with myself because I don't think that I have been, or maybe I have and I'm just going through some sort of phase. This is not going to be a simple decision.

At any rate, I think I do have a big crush on this woman... if any of you ladies met her you'd understand what I mean! LOL! I find her totally desirable but I know it's completely off-limits. I've known quite a few gay women, both past and present, and I've never had feelings like this for them. Scared to know more, maybe? I dunno. Or is part of it a comfort thing... she and I share a lot on a personal level.

Ya know, the bottom line is that I just want to be happy, I guess. I suppose that's pretty much what we all want.

Thanks again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2007
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 8:48pm

Thanks a lot for the welcome! If you all don't mind I think I'll jump in and join some of your conversations here. I like the overall tone of the board thus far, lots of good vibes here.

I like the idea of good things happening when you least expect them... I've gone through a few rough years and I've fought and scrapped my way back to what I consider a "normal" life, but I can't take all the credit for sure!

Thanks for making me feel welcome.




Edited 7/27/2007 8:49 pm ET by rosebud_fl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 6:51am

Others have already given such good advice, that I have

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 10:07am

We're so happy to have you here and glad you feel welcome! I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.


Hugs


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 10:44pm

Friendly & funny?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 11:34pm

Geez, I have enough trouble typing in FgpBlue. It won't roll off my fingers like Blue does. I keep having to delete and start again. We can if you want to, though.

Hugs

FgpBlue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 12:48am

I should also add smart and sensitive to that. I'm gonna hang around here and hopefully learn and share some stuff. I guess I should start with the acronyms, and what exactly makes a vehicle "lesbian" LOL!

I have a lot of questions about my true orientation and I have some trepidation about exploring that aspect of my life, but it's also very intriguing to me at the same time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 12:58am

Thanks, Nony. Hey I *heart* M&M's! :O)

I know for sure my good friend is not a possibility for an intimate relationship, she's a single mom and for sure straight, even though with a very open mind. I think I'll be happy just to have a close girlfriend relationship with her, and I'm thinking in time the crush will pass or diminish. If not, it will just be a one-way thing. I know she likes me as a friend, and we share many personal things, but that's as far as it will go.

I just have to figure out if I should try to seek out someone that would be appropriate, that's going to be my quest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 1:03am

Kind of late for you, Rosebud, isn't it? I was about ready to close up shop when I see you posted.

I have a friend who told me that the standard lesbian vehicle was a Volvo. I was amazed. I had never heard of such a thing. After that is the truck and the mini Cooper. I figure when you own a Chevy Blazer, that's pretty close to a truck, but with the advantages of a car. I used to own a truck, but that was back in my "completely hidden in the closet, but stickin' my toes out" years. Good thing no straight people recognized my toes!!! lol

Yep, btw, I get all the questioning and the trepidation. Take your time. Nobody is rushing you and you can explore at your leisure.

Hugs

FgpBlue

BLUE DIA