Commitment Rings
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Commitment Rings
| Sat, 07-28-2007 - 7:58pm |
I thought this would be an interesting discussion! How do you feel about gay couples wearing rings? Is this a trapping of heterosexual life? If you are in a relationship do you and your partner wear rings?
Was there a proposal? A mutual agreement? Did it signify a deeper legal or emotional unity in your relationship?
If you are single do you want to exchange rings when the right woman comes along? Why or why not?
Shannon
Edited 7/28/2007 8:07 pm ET by irishowl


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When I left my marriage and took off my rings it was like the weight of the world came off of me, even though it was just 2 small rings. I kept them in my safe for a long time and then got rid of them. The ring Shelley gave me has been off my hand once, when I had surgery in March. It may just be some metal with stones but what it symbolizes is very precious to me. Where as when I was married my rings symbolized my unhappiness and felt like the world's smallest handcuffs, confining.......
Shannon
Shannon,
I don't know how I feel about my rings. There were years of happiness, and a lot of years of being miserable. I feel guilty wearing them, but I have not felt guilty about anything that I have done in the last month. THAT has me worried. A therapist friend of mine says that is because I have already checked out of my marriage. Who knows the real reason. The rings are very nice, but no longer symbols of my love.
Thanks for your thoughts
Hugs
Blue
I didn't feel guilty about the things I had done (although Shelley and I did not have sex)until I was officially seperated. I'm sure part of the reason was that my EX H had already been unfaithful in the marriage. Also, I was so unhappy that I knew I was doing the right thing. I hurt his family, I felt bad about that, really bad. You are about to have alot going on in your life and I'm thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way.
If you ever need a shoulder to lean on mine are pretty strong.
Shannon
Thanks, babe, and I know they will be getting stronger with the crutches. lol
I feel like I am experiencing the calm before the storm, the receding water before the tsumanmi, and the stillness before the avalanche. I know something big is about to happen and it's going to be bad, and yet I can't get myself out of harm's way. In fact, I am the epicenter of all the horrible events to follow. It's not a pleasant place to be standing.
Thanks for your shoulders.
Hugs
Blue
As I packed my bags to leave my husband I felt like a cliff diver. I knew I was taking a huge leap of faith that would take me away from my safe, secure miserable life. I knew there were going to be lots of up's and downs and horrible times to get through. But, I dove and I got through it. It wasn't always easy, but it has always been worth it. Your happiness has no price tag, it is priceless and it is worth everything.
Huge hugs for you! and loads of good thoughts,
Shannon
Am I going to be happy when I get where I am going? That is the concern for me. I have lived this way for a lifetime. Who's to say that I will be any happier? The sex is great, but aren't all the problems the same as all couples have? Aren't the joys the same that all couples have? How's this going to be any different?
Blue
Straight or gay all couples have their issues. I'll tell you what makes me happy I came out. I can look at myself in the mirror and know I am living my life honestly, I no longer feel like a fraud. I finally like myself,love myself even and I never did before. I know I am living my life in the way I was born to. All those things make me happy. I learned alot about myself in coming out, I learned how strong a woman I really am. I learned to not make room in my life for people who do not accept me for who I am.
I can't tell you what is going to happen sweetie, I can only share my experiance with you. Even if I had not been with Shelley I would have come out. My Dad died a year before I came out, he was in his early 60's. That woke me up to how short life really is, too short to not be happy. I had no crystal ball to tell me if I would live happily ever after or not. I just knew that how I was living was not making me happy and that the only person who could change that was me. Sometimes you just have to follow your heart, take the leap and see where you land........that's what I did. I always tell people the best thing I ever did for myself was come out.........and that really is true for me.
Follow your heart my dear,
Big hugs,
Shannon
Blue,
"Happiness is not measured in the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
There will be happy times and sad times no matter who you are with or even if you are alone.
Blue,
When I responded to this thread, I did so because my opinion was asked for. And, because this is what commitment rings/wedding rings mean to me. I am sorry that you took my response, personal and way out of context.
If you are feeling self-conscience about your wedding rings, then I suggest that you ask yourself, why you still wear them. I've always suggested to anyone that has to make a decision that affects their life, do what you think would make you happy, it doesn't affect me, it affects you, because you have to live with the outcome, not me or anyone else.
This subject is a very sensitive and personal one. I like reading everyone else's responses because I like different points of view. How you respond... it doesn't affect my answer one way or the other, while I might agree, or disagree with someone on a particular issue is my right. As long as I'm not disagreeable about it.
So, please, stop being afraid of the decisions that you have to make for yourself, getting opinions and everyone else's point of view is good, but remember, you have to make the final decision.
My views about committment rings/wedding rings are mine and mine alone.
Thanks,
Seb
Edited 7/30/2007 11:10 am ET by igentleheart
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
You are right. The coming out is for me, not for anybody else. The time that I have been coming out has been good. I guess a year ago last May was when I started. It's my place in the universe.
Thanks Shannon.
Hugs
Blue
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