Did something happen to make you gay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Did something happen to make you gay?
49
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 12:13pm

Disclaimer..........This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands. :lol:

Nothing happened to me that "made me gay", this is who I was born to be. I didn't know what it was, but I knew I was differant around 11 years old. I was 13 or 14 when I heard the word lesbian, knew what it was and knew that was what I am.
When I was 18 I was assaulted by a male friend my first semester at college. It's taken me a while to deal with it, but I'm ok. I've gone to many Take Back the Night events and even spoken at a few. I'm not ashamed of what happened to me, because I'm not responsible for what happened to me. However, I have a very dear friend whose name is Ruth. She and I have been friends for about 9 years now. She is totally convinced that what happened to me made me gay. Despite the fact that I already knew I was a lesbian before I was assaulted. She believes I had "homosexual tendencies" and that being assaulted cemented it. She thinks that if that had not happened that perhaps I would have been straight.........oy! She means well, she's extremely religious. I know she sounds ignorant, but she is a major pillar of support in my life and she loves me dearly. I think she is still trying to grasp that people are born this way, because everything she has ever been taught in the church tells her this is a choice to sin. She doesn't understand it but she is 100% supportive of my life. She's even told me that Shelley and I have shown her that gay people are like everyone else and that we have normal lives.

So, my question is do your friends or family believe that something happened to make you gay? Do you think traumatic events can make someone gay? Do you think we are born gay?

ETA: I do believe that people are born gay. I do not believe that traumatic events can alter someone's sexuality. I personally believe that it is determined in utero.

Shannon




Edited 8/1/2007 1:47 pm ET by irishowl
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 2:10pm
Someone said I am a lesbian because I ate too much seafood. She's not into eating lobsters. She said it's scavenger of the sea and since I love eating lobsters, I behave in the lowest form and became a lesbian. If I stop eating seafood, I will be straight again. She has such a bright light in her head. How can one denied it???
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 2:11pm

Now that is the most interesting theory I've ever heard! Sounds like her lightbulb needs to be changed!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 4:27pm

OMG that is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life!

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 6:28pm
Wow, you are kidding, right? That is absurd and you are making it up. You gotta be. I personally think being left handed has made me gay. How about that? Hmmmm, we always ate fish on Friday's when I was young. Maybe there is something to the seafood thing....Nah, no way!!!
BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 6:35pm

Shannon, NOTHING has ever happened in my life to "make" me gay. I've just known since I was around 12, but back then in my family, in my town, in my life, I never put words to how I felt. I had the picture perfect childhood. The only thing that is a little scary is that an uncle came on to me when we were alone and a friend's father at my Sweet 16 party(don't even go there!!!!) both about the time I was 16. It was weird, I told my parents, and that was the end of me ever being alone with my uncle. I never told anybody about the dad.

Good question..but I swear it's the left handed thing. I bet if you questioned gay people, there would be a higher than normal percentage of lefties in comparison to the general population!!! NOT!, but it sounds cool.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 6:42pm

No, I agree with you that people are not made gay..........but some people do think that. My friend Ruth will never be convinced that my assault is not what made me gay, she doesn't believe I was born this way. She loves me and accepts me........but she feels that I was made gay.

My Mom is a leftie........but not gay! :lol:

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 6:45pm

I think that people can choose to live a gay, straight, bi, whatever lifestyle and not be born to the choice. I cite myself as an example. I have known I was gay, but chose to live straight all my life. The times they are a-changin' though. Time for the truth.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 7:47pm
Hmmmm I love seafood and my Mother craved raw clams when she was pregnant with me.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 11:20pm
Hi Shannon.. I personaly think it could be all those factors.. Being born as such.. Being assaulted and violated...or by choice.. I am sure also

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 11:27pm

Hye, Cat, very introspective, and well thought out. Kudos

Hugs,
Blue

BLUE DIA

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