Did something happen to make you gay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Did something happen to make you gay?
49
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 12:13pm

Disclaimer..........This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands. :lol:

Nothing happened to me that "made me gay", this is who I was born to be. I didn't know what it was, but I knew I was differant around 11 years old. I was 13 or 14 when I heard the word lesbian, knew what it was and knew that was what I am.
When I was 18 I was assaulted by a male friend my first semester at college. It's taken me a while to deal with it, but I'm ok. I've gone to many Take Back the Night events and even spoken at a few. I'm not ashamed of what happened to me, because I'm not responsible for what happened to me. However, I have a very dear friend whose name is Ruth. She and I have been friends for about 9 years now. She is totally convinced that what happened to me made me gay. Despite the fact that I already knew I was a lesbian before I was assaulted. She believes I had "homosexual tendencies" and that being assaulted cemented it. She thinks that if that had not happened that perhaps I would have been straight.........oy! She means well, she's extremely religious. I know she sounds ignorant, but she is a major pillar of support in my life and she loves me dearly. I think she is still trying to grasp that people are born this way, because everything she has ever been taught in the church tells her this is a choice to sin. She doesn't understand it but she is 100% supportive of my life. She's even told me that Shelley and I have shown her that gay people are like everyone else and that we have normal lives.

So, my question is do your friends or family believe that something happened to make you gay? Do you think traumatic events can make someone gay? Do you think we are born gay?

ETA: I do believe that people are born gay. I do not believe that traumatic events can alter someone's sexuality. I personally believe that it is determined in utero.

Shannon




Edited 8/1/2007 1:47 pm ET by irishowl
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 11:40pm
For the "100%" that you said, I read it somewhere, some time ago (can't remember exactly) that there was this group of scientists who discovered (though the evidence is either not convincing enough or was hushed up by the people who want to) that there is a difference in the brains of people who are gay compared to those of people who are straight. I don't know if it's true.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Thu, 08-02-2007 - 12:10am

Bleu, there was a small study on gay males that indicated that the area of the brain, I'm thinking around the anterior commisure-something was somewhat larger than those of self identified straight males. I don't believe the study was extensive enough to be considered valid, but could possibly show tendencies.

I cannot remmeber who conducted the study or where I saw the data, so i'm thinking, wait,let me kook it up. Yep the anterior thing was shown to be 34% larger in homosexual males. Also, 13 % of the gay male population is left handed, compared to only 9% of the hetero populaiton. See, guys there is something to my left handed comments!

Anyhow, I didn not look up lesbians. I'll do that tomorrow.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 08-02-2007 - 1:51pm
What she said to me I’m not making it up but I didn’t take what she said seriously most of the times. I think she was mad with me at that time and it was one of her ways of lashing out to get back at me. That doesn’t matter anyway since we’re not friends anymore. Your thoughts on being left handed…nah…I tested that too…my sis is lefthanded and she’s not gay. Actually, she’s ambidextrous so she should be bi but that’s didn’t even crossed her mind. *wink&smile*
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 08-02-2007 - 1:53pm
Your mom and she will get along fine, I think. :-p*
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Thu, 08-02-2007 - 8:34pm

I fell in love with a woman...so I guess something did happen to make me gay!!

Daronda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 1:42pm

Ok, you tell us what happen to make you gay. *grin*
Did you hit your head when you fell and “love at first site(sight)” just happen because the person was a she when you stood up?
Wait, wait…I know, you’re left handed and love to eat seafood, that’s why your gay! Right? *L*

You're feeling better today? Did you scream out loud? *smile*

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 1:54pm

Actually, I didnt scream at all, I cried instead and ate some chocolate...LOL!! That always makes me feel better...*grin*!!

And for the record, I am left handed, LOVE seafood and in love with a woman so I guess I was destined all along...just took me a while to figure it out! ;-)

Daronda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 2:15pm

I'm glad you did something for yourself. *smile*
Hope you feels better!
Have a good weekend too.

Boston is promoting Restaurant Week. I'm going to participate and eat, eat, eat in fine restaurants. Then exercise, exercise, exercise. *L*

Have a good weekend everybody too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 3:14pm

Have a great weekend, Eastie! I just got done with a hard, long workout. And I'm going again tomorrow. Blech!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 10:03pm
WOW!!!
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