Did something happen to make you gay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Did something happen to make you gay?
49
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 12:13pm

Disclaimer..........This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands. :lol:

Nothing happened to me that "made me gay", this is who I was born to be. I didn't know what it was, but I knew I was differant around 11 years old. I was 13 or 14 when I heard the word lesbian, knew what it was and knew that was what I am.
When I was 18 I was assaulted by a male friend my first semester at college. It's taken me a while to deal with it, but I'm ok. I've gone to many Take Back the Night events and even spoken at a few. I'm not ashamed of what happened to me, because I'm not responsible for what happened to me. However, I have a very dear friend whose name is Ruth. She and I have been friends for about 9 years now. She is totally convinced that what happened to me made me gay. Despite the fact that I already knew I was a lesbian before I was assaulted. She believes I had "homosexual tendencies" and that being assaulted cemented it. She thinks that if that had not happened that perhaps I would have been straight.........oy! She means well, she's extremely religious. I know she sounds ignorant, but she is a major pillar of support in my life and she loves me dearly. I think she is still trying to grasp that people are born this way, because everything she has ever been taught in the church tells her this is a choice to sin. She doesn't understand it but she is 100% supportive of my life. She's even told me that Shelley and I have shown her that gay people are like everyone else and that we have normal lives.

So, my question is do your friends or family believe that something happened to make you gay? Do you think traumatic events can make someone gay? Do you think we are born gay?

ETA: I do believe that people are born gay. I do not believe that traumatic events can alter someone's sexuality. I personally believe that it is determined in utero.

Shannon




Edited 8/1/2007 1:47 pm ET by irishowl
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:41pm

Well, for me it is doing cardio for 30 minutes or more (today I ran for 35 minutes) and a bunch of weights (arms, legs, abs). I've burned some major calories in the past two months, but I don't seem to be losing pounds.


I feel very defeated right now. :-(


Sorry to have hijacked this thread, Shannon!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:00pm

I kissed a girl! LOL! OR before that I noticed a girl's hands..or before that...lol

My Creator made me that way! Who can argue with perfection...all of us..made perfectly for our experience here on earth

Hugs
Roxy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 9:52pm

OMG that is too funny about noticing a girls hands! I had a friend over this afternoon and she made a comment that the chef on the cooking show that was on the TV was cute because she has long fingers! I am acutely aware of a woman's hands when I meet her......I can't believe I just admitted that!

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2007
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 10:11pm
If it's seafood I can obviously blame my lesbianism (is that a word?) on my mother. If that's the case then I better be prepared for my dd to be one too. I love raw seafood! Won't that just be a kick in the pants for h! Definitely born gay.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 12:43pm

Don’t be T, you’re doing fine. Keep it up.

You know you’re losing calories which mean you’re building muscles. Remember, it won’t be obvious at first but after a year of constant exercising you will see the results you and T2 will be very please with not to mention your doctors too! *l*

What part of your body you’re working on that is not pleasing you right now? I know I have difficulty with my abs area but I’m not giving up. I’m trying different ways to work on that area alone. You’re post gives me inspiration to work out at the gym an extra half hr. I usually put in just an hour of workout. *smile*

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 12:48pm
you're first sentance reminds me of the song, "I KISSED A GIRL" by Jill Sobule. Now it's going to run around in my head for awhile! *L & smile*
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 2:19pm

The tire around my waist isn't pleasing me right now. I'm eating too much sugar

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 6:12pm
While I support T2's efforts all the way and always will, I just want to go on record that I love her just the way she is and she is totally beautiful to me; Today and Always.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 12:51am

I know that, Rogue. I have been out of the loop for 48 hours, so I don't know which post it was. It's all good. Let's just start from here. You guys have been so busy, it's going to take me another 48 hours just to catch up. Check ya later

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 2:50pm

Agreed, exercising is hard but it’s also fun sometime.*Smile*

Sugar isn’t the only problem. Do you eat lots of bread or rice? If you do, that will contribute to the mid section too. I try to cut down on my intake of rice and bread and pasta. It’s difficult when we have a bread and butter night at work sometime. *L*

We have a woman that loves to bring junk food to work at least 3x a week and leave it out on the communal table. She’ll bring donuts, boxes of cookies, chips, ringdings, etc and we have a coffee maker running everyday so sometime it’s difficult to just walk away. *L*

The only way I know I can fight the hunger or munchies at work is to bring my own fruits and mixed nuts or veggies to munch on. I don’t bring enough veggies but with the summer season, I do bring lots of seasonal fruits to work to eat and share. I try to keep a bag of mixed nuts at work and bring it out when I skipped lunch for whatever reasons so I won’t go to our own makeshift Kraft table. *L*

Keep up the good work with exercising. I’m make a thread somewhere here so we (everybody) can chip in on their exercising experience and encourage each other along the ways of being fit and trim! We can do it like a journal and won’t need to include our weights or anything we don’t want to. We’ll keep it simple by putting down what kind of exercise we did for the day and give a shout out to each other to keep each other going. How’s that? Anybody interested???