It's Done

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
It's Done
44
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:17pm

Got up this morning, ate breakfast, worked out, took a shower, and loaded the car with the suitcase and backpack from my two weeks in Boulder, just in case. Also took two Xanax.

Sat down and had lunch with my DH,

It's DONE.

There was this awful silence. There were tears. I'm his best friend. I can't imagine how he treats his enemies. Then I was all worried about the emotions, living conditions, the kids, how great a guy he is and how he needs somebody to really love him the way he needs to be loved. I'm about the fact that I will be going out to meet people and can he handle that?
He's all about the investments, the houses, the money, the divorce, getting a lawyer. How differently we think.

After about an hour, I went to get my exercise ball filled at work and sit at Barnes and Noble and read Out Magazine for a change in public. As I am picking up the magazine, over walks dd's first grade teacher. I quickly picked up Newsweek instead. lol

Well, I'm pretty numb. I expect there will be other emotions as the weeks move on. I am leaving tomorrow to stay with a friend for Saturday night. Can't imagine what he thinks. Kind of scary, but no violence, no threats.

Thanks for you all for being here. I will need you in the next few months, maybe years.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:30pm

{{{{{{{{{{{Blue}}}}}}}}}}} I've got my Verizon khaki's on and I'm standing behind you! Take good care of yourself in the coming days and weeks, you'll have alot of differant emotions going on. You went to a scary place today my friend, you dove off the cliff! I'm proud of you and I'm happy for you.

{{{{Blue}}}}}

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:35pm

Thanks, hon, I don't think I have hit the bottom, yet. The scenery is changing from very pretty, to wavy, to rushing past, to beautiful, to horrendously awful. I hope there is a "soft place to fall." Allison Moorer from The Horse Whisperer.

Hugs

Sue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 5:45pm

Nope, the bottom comes later.............it's a journey you know? This is a step, one of many. But, it's a huge step and one of the hardest. Lean on the people who care about you. Be easy on yourself. You will get there with time.............

Hugs,
Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 6:08pm

Okay-I know I've answered all your emails since you told, but had to add here. I've noticed that I hit bottom a lot. It depends on what stage you're in. I had to hit bottom in different ways before I made so many different moves. So you hit one bottom before you told him and now there's some relief.

There will be more hurdles, more bottoms, more brilliant lights and dark, dark times. But as you move on, more brilliant moments where you will know it's all worth it. Lately I've noticed that my joyous tears tend to outshed the despair tears. But, the journey is certainly not over.

Okay, instead of Xanax in drip form, let's get it to drink along with some beer. lol. Really, thank goodness for the meds right now.

Hugs

Louise

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 6:42pm

((((((((Blue)))))))) You know that K and I will be behind and beside for MANY YEARS to come.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 7:37pm

Dh went to his brothers tonight to watch a movie. I asked him if he wanted me to get the dog. I also asked if he told his brother and he had. I now have a call into my siblings, but mine must be social butterflies,'cause nobody's home.

I feel amazing right now.

Hugs

FgpSue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 7:38pm

{{{{{{{Blue}}}}}}}}

I'm glad you're feeling ok right now. I'm still thinking about you!

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 7:44pm

Oh, {{{{{{{BLUE}}}}}}}


You've got my number...feel free to use it.

Spring SiggyBlinkie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 8:33pm

Congratulations on coming out to your husband. I'll still be reading about everything that you are going through. But, believe me, you will be ok, just continue to take care of yourself and you'll be just fine.

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 8:39pm

((((((((Blue))))))))


What more can I add?? Everyone has said so eloquently everything I'm thinking. I'm glad for you that it's done and now you can focus on the practical things that will move you forward (the lawyers, money, etc.).


Take care of yourself and know that we're here for you always.


Hugs


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