Stranger in my own house

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Stranger in my own house
24
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 9:47pm

So, today is my 12th wedding anniversary. So weird. Dh is playing golf and I brought the kids home from the first weekend at the apt. It was an okay weekend. My youngest dd has a cold so she was so grumpy. She kept asking to go home. Today was better. There's a pool at the apt and the kids swam everyday. Thank goodness for that.

Now my dh is making me feel like this is no longer my home. He has rearranged a lot of stuff and "cleaned". I was always the messier person, and I'm sure it's a message about what a slob I was. I know some of what he's doing is healthy for him, but it makes me feel like so awful. I know I have to start giving up the attachment to this house, just another goodbye. And the apt is really home yet-but I'm sure it will be soon.

Today I was really feeling like I want to meet more lesbians-but not necessarily to date. I just don't feel ready for that. So I starting searching online and found a womens' softball league. I printed out the schedule and am going to go watch a game tomorrow night. Can't really see walking into a bar right now. Nothing better than going to go watch women play ball-that's where it all started for me.

Oh-and I'm PMSing-just makes everything that much worse.

I wish I had energy to answer all your posts. You've all been so supportive. Someday I'll be stronger and able to give back. For now I'm a taker-not a role I'm used to. Thanks for being givers.

Hugs,

Amy-my "real" name

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 10:04pm
Awwwww(((((Amy))))) been there done that...

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 10:08pm

Geez, Amy, my dh spent the weekend cleaning the house and garden, too. I am also the one who lacks neatness in this area. I wonder if our dh's would like to date? lol Just for a little painful humor.

Hugs

Sue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 10:11pm
OHHMYGOODNESS! No You Didn't!~~~~ I am ROFLOL

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 10:13pm

YOU are definitely a boost for my sagging ego right now. Thanks, babe.

Hugs

Sue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 10:18pm
*Smiles... Believe me your humor is a medicine unbeknowst<(like that word?) even by you for me.... I adore laughter.. and Hon I call it ..say it ...like it is.. Any thing else sagging by the way I can help with ROFLOL..jk (of course)


 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 10:42pm

Hi Cat. I remember reading about your sons. That's so tough. I just don't understand why the world is so cruel sometimes. Why we have to choose.

I did make the decision to leave-and wouldn't go back and change it. It's so weird to be sitting here taking care of my kids-yet not belonging here. In time it will probably feel more "normal". Whatever that means.

Yeah-I thought the softball thing would be a good way to get my feet wet. I need the company of other women who are like me! Even if I just sit in the stands and pretend I know what I'm doing. I'm such a mom-I swear. My life revolves around kid stuff and I need to remember how to be "me". Wish me luck.

Hugs,

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 10:45pm

Hey-that's Louise to you. We're not familiar enough for you to call me Amy :-} (see my latest email babe).

Anyway-I'm sure our dhs might like each other's company. Painful humor is still humor.

You're doing great. You're still typing-how many Xanax today? I'm going to try and go without one tonight-we'll see what happens at 3am

Hugs,

Louise, Amy, Passion

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 10:47pm

You know when Shelley came out and left her husband(about 21 years ago) he came out shortly afterward...........lol.

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 1:54am

you will find that lesbian MOMS like to Play soft ball, too!How about searching for a lesbian Mom's group. There are Tons out there !!!! Hang in there...Embrace your messiness ! (grin)

Designergrl - Brandy

"Thoughts are things! Think Good ones!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2007
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 2:38am

Hi Amy,

I hope you are all right. It must be a hard weekend for you. Things will get better. Keep your head up and live your true self. Call me anytime if you want someone to talk to. Thank you for suggestion this site.

Loretta from Defrank

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