Stranger in my own house

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Stranger in my own house
24
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 9:47pm

So, today is my 12th wedding anniversary. So weird. Dh is playing golf and I brought the kids home from the first weekend at the apt. It was an okay weekend. My youngest dd has a cold so she was so grumpy. She kept asking to go home. Today was better. There's a pool at the apt and the kids swam everyday. Thank goodness for that.

Now my dh is making me feel like this is no longer my home. He has rearranged a lot of stuff and "cleaned". I was always the messier person, and I'm sure it's a message about what a slob I was. I know some of what he's doing is healthy for him, but it makes me feel like so awful. I know I have to start giving up the attachment to this house, just another goodbye. And the apt is really home yet-but I'm sure it will be soon.

Today I was really feeling like I want to meet more lesbians-but not necessarily to date. I just don't feel ready for that. So I starting searching online and found a womens' softball league. I printed out the schedule and am going to go watch a game tomorrow night. Can't really see walking into a bar right now. Nothing better than going to go watch women play ball-that's where it all started for me.

Oh-and I'm PMSing-just makes everything that much worse.

I wish I had energy to answer all your posts. You've all been so supportive. Someday I'll be stronger and able to give back. For now I'm a taker-not a role I'm used to. Thanks for being givers.

Hugs,

Amy-my "real" name

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 10:20pm
I think you should go on tuesday and flirt a bit. Not to obvious but just a bit.
Give her something to think about. She can miss you the rest of the week.
Hopefully you will leave her with something to be thinking about.
Tell her you would like to do a movie again sometime.
Tell her about your own apartment.
Give her more to think about, that is what I think.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 7:15am
Well for what its worth, I don't think you need to let her 'play' you like that.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 3:38pm

Hi Caly. You're right-and it's what my friend keeps telling me. I know she's awfully conflicted about how she feels-that's understandable. But I've been nothing but nice to her and feel I deserve better than the game playing.

The problem is-I haven't felt this way about someone for so long-I really need an outlet for this passion and excitement I discovered. Today I went to another gym and I felt so sad the whole time because I missed our routine. We always help each other put our weights away and then spend the time talking about our kids and so many different things. She's confided in me about so many things and has taken the time to get to know me on many levels. I really looked forward to her classes because of the connection we had made. And it was always so hard to say bye because we both felt like we needed more time together-yet just couldn't do it. Then she got up the nerve to ask me to the movies that one day-and I think she freaked out afterwards because she really likes me. So----it's just weird. I missed her today.

I'm waiting to see if she calls me. thanks for your opinion-I always value it.

Hugs,

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 5:13pm

Hi Laurie. You're so sweet to offer your advice. See what I replied to Caly about V's classes today.

I know this is extra hard because I'm in the midst of so many changes right now and just those few hours I see her are such a nice diversion-until she starts the other stuff. I wish she would just leave me alone if she isn't sure, that way I wouldn't hold onto any hope.

Going to buy the fish tomorrow or Thursday. No flirting with a fish-but little drama too!

Hugs,

Amy

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