Medical care and your partner..........
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| Wed, 08-15-2007 - 12:07pm |
Shelley is going to the hospital tommorow for her sacro illiac injections for her back pain, it's just day surgery. This morning I'm gathering up paperwork to go with us.........copy of our domestic partnership decree with official state seal and her medical power of attorney. Shelley always thinks I'm so paranoid doing this anytime one of us has surgery, she thinks the Dr's will just allow one of us to speak for the other without question in an emergency. That's very true, they might.......but I never want one of us to be in a life or death position and for the other to be helpless.
And I do this every time, even though they have it in our charts that we are spouses........I just want to cover us. We both work in health care, I know how things get lost, or overlooked.
What bothers me is when I straight married couple go through something like this, they don't have to "prove" their relationship. If they say they are married, then they are......period. But, because we are gay we have to prove it. It's very sad.
Shannon


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Good luck to Shelly!
You're story is one of many why we need Federal Laws to protect us and gay marriage.
(even for those of us that's not looking to married. ok? I've include that sentance. I'll have to include this for those among us that are backpaddling now at the mention of marriage. *L*)
I understand that Shannon. Before all of this (and I can't stress this enough, please just read)need to get married, I was in a long term relationship with a woman that gave birth to a child. In essence we had a child together. Since her mother and father didn't want anything to do with any of the medical bills, and I had to take sole responsibility of everything, I was looked upon as the "dad" even though I didn't get her pregnant.
I was with this woman for five years, in a way we were married, even without the ceremony. I was the head of household, and everything else. If something went wrong, everyone was looking at me. If a physcial altercation took place between the two of us (which it never did)I would be the one arrested. Doesn't that sound like a married couple?
I'm not trying to be rude or to discount your feelings, but look at it this way, at least you are treated as a spouse and not as an intruder, or being overlooked and you are being respected as a spouse.
Sebastian
Hugs,
Sebastian
http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce
Hey Seb!
I do understand what you are saying. Even though we have laws to protect us here in CA I am still VERY assertive about it. I make sure every Dr and nurse that is there knows the score right off the bat, because I don't want someone questioning me in an emergency. I'm sure some people think I'm paranoid and slightly aggressive, but I would rather make sure everyone is on the same page when there isn't an emergency.......rather than having to fight with them when there is an emergency. Also, Shelley's Mom will be there and she does not respect my role as Shelley's spouse..........so I would already have a fight on my hands with her if something went wrong.
We need federal protections for all couples......someday I hope!
Shannon
Hope everything goes well with S's day surgery.
It's understandable that you are feeling frustrated about the prejudice you get sometimes. But if you look at it from a different pow, interracial marriages were not excepted not so long ago. And so I think America has progressed pretty well. Of course we all hope for equality in its truest sense in a very near future. For now, don't stress yourself out too much k. Take care.
Hugs.
Hi Blue,
You know I'm really not stressed about it, but I like to be prepared. I think working in health care makes you be extra careful. The last surgery she had they were great to us, I love this hospital. It's just a little thing like this that reminds me that things are not fair or equal just yet, you know?
Shannon
We'll be thinking about Shelly tomorrow and wishing her a speedy recovery. It's great that you guys have everything already set up. We need to do that, although I'm not sure how much weight any documents will hold here. From what we've heard from our friends who have just gone through fertility treatments, there are some doctors in the area who are very homophobic. ~sigh We need to go through the process anyway.
It just really stinks that we are not guaranteed any kind of protection. And you're right, a married couple is not questioned like we are.
Hugs
Hey Ting!
I really feel for couples who live in states without protections. We are so lucky to have the protections that we do, but enforcement is another issue. Who's to say that something should happen and we have a Dr who refuses to recognize our partnership because of his own bias or ignorance of the laws? At the hospital and Dr's we go to I doubt that happening, but it's always possible. The Dr doing this is not very familiar with Shelley and I, he's a new Dr for her. Our regular Dr and my ob/gyn are just awesome! Every time I see my ob/gyn she asks when am I going to let her put a bun in my oven..........lol. She has alot of lesbian patients, I always see couples together in her waiting room.
Shannon
Does this mean that you won't marry me, Rogue??? You were on the list of possibilities. **Tear falling from the corner of my eye** :(
lol
Blue
Although the V.A. let her come in to my thyroid biopsy last year. So, you never know.
I think it is unfair.
What do they mean by "Freedom for all"? Don't they see they leave people out of equal rights and freedom?
Ok... I better stop or I will explode.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
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