Medical care and your partner..........

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Medical care and your partner..........
39
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 12:07pm

Shelley is going to the hospital tommorow for her sacro illiac injections for her back pain, it's just day surgery. This morning I'm gathering up paperwork to go with us.........copy of our domestic partnership decree with official state seal and her medical power of attorney. Shelley always thinks I'm so paranoid doing this anytime one of us has surgery, she thinks the Dr's will just allow one of us to speak for the other without question in an emergency. That's very true, they might.......but I never want one of us to be in a life or death position and for the other to be helpless.
And I do this every time, even though they have it in our charts that we are spouses........I just want to cover us. We both work in health care, I know how things get lost, or overlooked.

What bothers me is when I straight married couple go through something like this, they don't have to "prove" their relationship. If they say they are married, then they are......period. But, because we are gay we have to prove it. It's very sad.

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:46pm

Oh Shannon, you have hit a very raw nerve with me.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:46pm

Easy there, my friend. We need you on the team, not exploding all over the place. One day, I know we will be kicking some major butt, or at the very least be equal. I'd like more than equal for awhile, just to make up for lost time, but that wouldn't be fair for anybody who was an ally today.

Hugs

Sue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:49pm

Geez, if something happened to me right now, my dh would have the final say. THAT is somewhat of a troubling thought seeing the state of my marriage right now. I guess I made this bed and I gotta be careful while I am in it.

Hugs

Sue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:51pm
I know what you mean Sue.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:53pm

Oh, my, your MOTHER!??!? Sorry about that. I do feel your pain, though. God, your mom......

Sue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 7:54pm
Wishing Shelly the best!
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 8:00pm
Lol, you are right I'll be easy, exploding would be to messy and for what?
I could leave a note... "This mess you see before you is due to unfair ignorance."
Guess I'll just calm down and do something about it, lol.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Wed, 08-15-2007 - 8:13pm

Awww Caly, I can't even imagine. I think that is the fear that keeps us in this state, even though we both want to leave. We have alot of rights here and don't want to lose them, especially since we are going to have kids together.

When I left my husband(as in we were legally seperated) I had my medical power of attorney drawn up giving Shelley the right to make choices for me. I was terrified that it would be either my soon to be ex husband or my Mom making decisions for me if something happened.

I always take our paperwork with us. We went on a cruise last year and it all came with us, just in case.

I think it's a raw nerve with all of us, it's so unfair and so stressful to think about.

Hugs,
Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 1:55pm

You have a list???

I’m on the list?

You mean I’m not THE ONE???! ;-)

Well, I just have to work harder to knock all those lovely ladies off that list of yours. *L*

Let see first on the list...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 08-16-2007 - 1:56pm
Don’t explode...our time will come just like women and blacks in America got their civil rights in the book. We just have to work harder and be more visible so the public won’t be afraid of us. Abolition of slavery took place 132 yrs ago and Martin Luther King Jr had to march the streets to make America not to treat him like a second class citizen in the 60s. Women in America got the right to vote just 77 yrs ago. 77 yrs only, my grandma is older than that! So don’t explode...you’ll see better days. *Smile*