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| Mon, 08-20-2007 - 7:05pm |
The big day, as you know was, Friday a week ago and the weekend was just horrific and yet it was great. A weight has been lifted from me. I was so worried about my ds. He is speaking to me and cares a great deal. He is out in CO with dd and I am sure they are doing what they need to do to come to grips with a lesbian mom and the changing of the family as they know it.
Since then, the whole family knows, my dh outed me to his entire worksstaff AND all of our couple friends that were originally his friends. My family is good, his is not, but they are not that bad either. My mother in law told everybody that "she has known for years." She's always like that and always will be, so I just let those things tug at me for the moment and then move on.
I have come out to all of my bosses and the last one is kind of where I am with her own husband, without the lesbian thing, I think. We have lots in common. She is about my age and is experiencing similar things like she loves her husband, but is not IN love with him. She asked me what I told my husband and we spent an hour in her office BSing.
My dh came home today and told me he had taken wire cutters and removed his wedding band, his mom wants my wedding band back and she is entitled to it, but it feels bad, and he is talking about getting an apartment as soon as we sell the Florida home, possibly in about 4 months. I would, of course, be responsible for "not my damn dog" until my ds can take him. I would need help for this.
This is really hard as many of you have said. There is not much community here, but I have made some pretty good contacts and will keep going. It's going a little faster than I had anticipated. Dh is the driving force. I guess in my head I thought this would all play itself completely out after I had retired, but it looks like other forces will be intervening.
Goddess love all my friends who have been checking up on me, some of you here at the board, either by phone, email, or postings. I am sad right now, but I think that is to be expected as you move through these kinds of events.
Many hugs all around
Blue Sue

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Sometimes I wonder what they are thinking, other times they ask alot of questions. Other times they seem to be closer friends because they know you now. Sometimes I feel free.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
Well, I've haven't come out to anybody except here and to myself, inside. ;)) So, I can give only a partial answer. Somehow I feel more positive and less depressed and hopeless about my life. I feel closer to who I used to be before I felt loaded down and just gave up. Somehow I feel freer. I am being more myself, not trying to conform to old roles I've been imprisoned in for so many years. If I don't want to do things as we always have, I don't. lol I've noticed a slightly confused look or two from DH just because I guess just knowing deep inside myself, has made me a little different on the "outside," or I am giving off slightly different energy.
I've been remembering how I used to be, trying new things, putting myself out there to learn something new, do something new, feeling positive instead of "oh, I can't do that anymore..."), and taking back some of myself in the process. Or reawakening parts of myself. Kind of.
ML
ML
Eventually they came around but I just lived my life as if they were not in it and made a new life and it worked for me.
Of course I never did marry and have children to worry about. I am not sure how things would have turned out if I had.
I can't say what I would have done if I were in your shoes or some of the other's here on the board.
I am glad that you are feeling free inside and I wish you much inner peace.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
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