Hello....I'm new

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Hello....I'm new
15
Fri, 08-24-2007 - 2:03pm

Hello everyone. I lurked here some time ago (probably 3 years ago) and now I'm back and thought I would post (after reading some of your hilarious posts!) For those who want to know my story I'll write it now. If not- RUN AWAY!! LOL So here goes.

I grew up a good Christian girl and married a soldier who put everything before his family. I was very timid and he was untrusting and liked to go out with drinking with his friends and the girls and came home only when he felt like it. He occassionally "let" me go with him just to keep me from "whining". Sex was his thing and usually the reason he came home (though I can't be certain he didn't get it somewhere else too). He used to bring home X-rated movies where there were lots of girl-on-girl scenes. He really liked those and would talk to me about maybe doing that. It looked good in the movies! LOL Anyway after 14 years and 5 sons I got tired and brave and moved out. However before I moved out I was online (here at iVillage as a matter of fact- different board though) and I met a wonderful lady. She was married too so I assumed she was straight. She invited me to go on a trip with her and 2 other girls from the board (walking board that has since closed). She was the cl there. Little did I know that trip would entirely change my life. Talking to her online she asked sexual questions and said some things. I was to go to her house the day before the trip and spend the night. She said her dh slept on the couch all the time so the best place to put me was.......in her bed!! It was a night like no other!! She wanted to keep seeing me after that but she was 300 miles from me. Since dh was in Iraq she visited me and the boys and our house and I'd go to her house. Her kids (who were nearly grown) and dh tolerated me. He was gone most of the time anyway and had misconcceptions of me because I was from a small town (small town meaning less than 800 people- my home town had less than 1400). When dh came home a year later the boys and I moved out. After another year she moved here. She's been here a year now and it has been wonderful. She struggles with my kids and wants to move back because of them which is ripping me apart but what can I do? I have a month to talk her into living in my house with me. The kids are gone half the time anyway. I guess we'll see what happens. We've been though a lot in the last 3 years.

So there ya go. My introduction of myself. Long and hopefully not too boring. In this small town there isn't much in the way of support or even community. You just don't admit that you are different in that way. But I work in a nursing home and one of the nurses has been with her female lover for 17 years so we talk about things. Anway I'd love to get to know you guys. You seem like a very fun bunch!

Innocence

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 10:11am

Lord its a good thing I know how to handle a pitchfork.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2005
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 11:35am

Hi and welcome! I'm new too, so you're not the only newbie here. =)

I don't have anything to add to the ladies before me other than glad to see you here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 12:32pm

"BTW, ds comes home from CO tomorrow. Hope he sees that things have improved here."

I'm thinking about you, and hoping it goes well with him.

Hugs,
ML


ML Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Sat, 08-25-2007 - 12:39pm

Hello, too! :))

I'm a newbie here, also. A newbie to everything, in fact. I've spent over 30 years, married, part of me shut down in the closet and ignoring myself, and now just awakening again. Have no clue what will happen next. I'm just kind of stunned right now... <|:=O Yikes! Landing here has been a huge help... I hope you find it so, too. :)

I hope things can work out for you both. 3 years is a lot invested. I'm glad you have someone to talk to at work, since you don't have resources or much community support. :) Right here is some great community support, so don't forget to come back! ;))

ML


ML Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 12:27pm
I have talked to my older kids and Ds15 says he doesn't care if she's here. He seems to like her. He tells her things, shows her things, and laughs with her. Ds14 doesn't like her but I think it's because XH's gf buys him things and stuff. Like he needs anything! Ds12, I think, would rather it just be us he'd choose her over anyone else living with us. Ds6 and Ds4 love her. They want her to stay. Ds6 even told her one time that it was like she was their mom too and another time that he loved her. They both like to sit by her and have her do more with them than she wants to. She is easily stressed. She didn't have much choice in leaving her family. Her XH doesn't ever want to hear from her again which is fine with her. Her dd's greatly distanced themselves from her and didn't seem to want much to do with her if anything. They are 20 and 22 now. The older one emails and calls. The younger one (with whom she was closest) will sometimes answer the phone when she calls and send an occassional email. Her parents are the only thing she really left and the only one she cares about is her mom. I have everything she wants- a house where it's quiet, cats, dogs, everything. But I have kids and they are driving her away.:-(

Innocence

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