Feeling really down and alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2005
Feeling really down and alone
19
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 4:42pm

I'm sorry to come here crying and whining...just don't have anyone to talk to.

The upcoming holiday weekend has me feeling really down and very much alone. I was all fired up to find an activity and something to get out and do this weekend instead of staying home alone. Well, I found plenty to do....if I want to go alone.

There is a butch-femme convention happening at one of the lesbian bars in Dallas. They have All sorts of fun acitivites and parties planned for the entire weekend. The Rainbow Ranch (gay/lesbian campground) is having a party filled weekend...etc...etc.

I would love nothing more than to go to some of these things, but going alone makes me so depressed. I do not have a circle of lesbians friends and none of the straight friends I have would go to any of these.

When I was with my partner for these past 7 years, we always kept our distance from the lesbian-circle-of-friends to avoid the "drama". You all know what I'm talking about when it comes to lesbian drama in the circle of friends.

Now that we've broken up, keeping ourselves away from the circle has only caused me isolation from it all. I don't know how to get back in there. I'm tired of being alone. And I'm really depressed I'll be spending another weekend home alone and no where to go.

There is just no way I will be able to attend any of these functions alone. Standing around watching everyone have a great time while I stand in the corner alone just isn't my idea of a fun time.

I'll stop now.
Feeling really sad...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:13pm

Hi Moondaizy. I wish I were in better shape to help, but I can send hugs. You know, sometimes I think all of these issues are gay related, and then other times I realize they're just about being human too. Life is just sometimes really hard and lonely.

Just like your trip to the bar, it sounds really scary going alone-almost impossible. I would feel the same way. Is there anyway you can post on a local message board for lesbians and see if there are people you could go with? I know it's so late notice, and seems desperate-but in a way your are desperate. I don't mean that in a bad way. But I know that desperate feeling to connect and somehow you just have to find a way, or the isolation you're feeling will overcome you!

There has to be a way for you to find someone to hook up with to go out with. I'll keep thinking and get back to you. How far from Dallas are you? That's your nearest city?

Hang in there Moondaizy. These days when we feel like this it seems we'll never feel better. But you will

Hugs,

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:54pm

Oh Honey....(((moondaizy))) I am so sorry you are feeling low... Try not to define yourself ar not being able to do it. Sometimes i reframe things in my mind so that I "see" myself doing it. Please take care. All you need is one or two good friends but you need to get out there to do it. Dont lose heart sweety.

Hugs

Roxy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 5:57pm


Hey moondaizy,

I know how you feel. I'm a part of that website, that is a dating site. I haven't been able to access it, because of finances, but that's going to change soon.

Why don't you just go and have a good time? You never know, you just might find someone that will turn your head. The one thing about being in a relationship that doesn't allow either partner to have friends is, that it's sad and very, very lonely and very exclusive.

Not to mention, there's no separate time for either partner. Unfortunately, I live all the way in DE, or I definately would go, no questions asked. Living in a small state, there's very little in the way of having a social life.

If you're still lonesome, send me an email through my profile. You're never alone.

{{{{{{{{{{moondaisy}}}}}}}}

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 6:20pm
Awwww Moon,
I know it is hard to go alone, but you could always leave if you are not having a good time. You might even meet some people there. Ask a straight friend to go. My straight friends have surprised me by going to glbt things with me at times.
Ask people to dance etc. Tell them that you are just getting back into the community after 7 years. They might introduce you to their friends.
If you stay home and feel lonely there is the board to come to. I will be here off and on. My g/f works saturday. We don't have big plans for the rest of the weekend except for a cookout.
You can e-mail me too through my profile.
I hope you can feel a little better. You are just getting back out there so don't lose hope.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 7:32pm


Hi Moondaizy. I found some places to search for some friends and some activities. It will seem scary-but look! Place an ad just for friendship. Lots of people do that. There has to be lots of women in your situation-maybe even new to the area. You have to get out there again woman!

Let us know how it goes

http://www.lesbianation.com/travel/local.cfm?region=107

http://lesbianpersonalsonline.com/?CID=STLesMain

http://gay.friendsearch.com/lesbian-personals/Dallas-texas.htm

Hugs,

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 8:20pm

Have you both tried myspace? Its free and you can search by orientation?
Just be safe!

Hugs

Roxy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 8:45pm

Ah, no thank, roxy. There are too many reports on the news about guys getting in trouble even contacting young ladies on myspace. If I do have contact with anyone on myspace, it's because I'm familiar with them, and they would know how to speak plain English and no slang. I have at least two friends that I send email to, and I'm very familiar with these ladies.

All the young ladies want to do is either send me spam or play games. I don't have patience for either one. But thanks for the suggestion.

The website that I'm a member of is called http://www.ButchFemmeMatchmaker.com They have catagories for Femmes, Butches, Stone Butches, Stone Femmes, and FTMs (female to males)And the site seems to be more open-minded and friendlier than any other dating site that I've seen.

How are you doing?

Hugs!

Sebastian

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 7:12am

Sorry you are down Moon ((((((hugs)))))


But keep in mind that as much as think it will be the case, I highly doubt you will be the ONLY single person to go to these events.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 10:02am

Moon, I'm sorry you're feeling so down! *hugs* I'm new around here and can't back up anything I say with personal experience, but I think you should go ahead and go. There are bound to be single folks around and even if every single person there is matched up (how likely is THAT?) you're going to try to get back into the scene and make friends. Couples make friends just like singles do and they're likely to try to set you up with their single friends anyways.

Don't be like me ... scared to death to take the first step. I'll tell you what. If you go (even for 15 minutes!) I promise to go to our local GLBT bookstore and actually step across the threshhold and go inside. That's huge for me because I've tried several times and keep chickening out.

Whatever you decide, we're here supporting you hon.

Angela

Angela
 
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end,
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2005
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 12:23pm

Sebastian thank you so much that was so incredibly sweet of you.
I actually cracked a smile reading your response. =)

I just might take you up on the email
Thank You!

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