Fire!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Fire!
25
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 6:09pm

Today we get the call on over the intercom for teachers to check our email. Turns out that M's(M is the woman that I was in love with and I told her in front of her dh. THAT little mistake didn't turn out well, as most of you know. I am not allowed to talk to her, email, text, phone, on penalty of a sexual harrassment deal. This was my best friend) apartment house burned down today. Not her apartment, it's just got huge smoke and water damage and they have virtually nothing left.

So you can imagine my mixed emotions as the day wears on. I really am over the whole love thing, but it would be nice to at least be friendly. It would be nice to at least be allowed to see the baby, cats, oh crap, just to have the friendship. I've got other interests, now.

Well, my principal, who is also a real close bud of mine, pulled me out of my 7th period class. He had gone over to the apartment to help M and her husband. He grabs me up in this huge hug and says, "This is from M. She just wanted me to do this and tell you that they are all fine, even the cats 'cause she knows how worried you would be." I am flabergasted. This is just frickin' crazy. NOW what am I supposed to think???? Is this a reach out? What happens if I send a note telling her I will help in any way I can? I have been working really hard on leaving this whole thing behind me. Anyhow, I am a bit messed up with it. Lots of things to sort through.

Any advice or opinions are requested.

Hugs

Blue

BLUE DIA

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
In reply to: bluediamondldy
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 6:21pm

No, no no...nothing in writing, Hon!

Spring SiggyBlinkie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
In reply to: bluediamondldy
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 7:34pm
Blue, I agree with Storm.
I have been here since the beginning of this. Nothing in writing... maybe through the principal.
I think she is just letting you know she is ok.
Hugs,
Laurie
Laurie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
In reply to: bluediamondldy
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 8:57pm

Hey there,


I have to agree with Storm on this one as well. (and so does Kirche)

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
In reply to: bluediamondldy
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:18pm

Hi Blue,

Under any and all circumstances leave her alone. If she's ok enough to ask your boss to overstep a boundary (there's that pesky phrase again)and give you a hug, then she's just fine, leave her alone.

You have enough to deal with.

Seb

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2007
In reply to: bluediamondldy
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 11:34pm

So I'm going with everyone else on this one. If you feel you must respond because you have a human heart and you do care so much for her, relay it through the principal.

Turn all that love and caring you have for her onto yourself-right now Sue comes first-period. I know what happened between you both was awful and awkward, and probably now she realises how special you are and how much you care. You know why she realises it? Because she's traumatized with the fire and when you're traumatized you want people around who love you. Now she realises you loved her and it means something to her. It didn't mean as much before the fire.

Not to sound harsh, I'm sure she has a good heart. But she never put you first, so don't put her before you sweetie.

Gosh, it must have been so hard to go through that today. Lots of hugs from over here.

Hugs,

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
In reply to: bluediamondldy
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 11:45am

Wow, that would mess with my head for sure. But, I have to agree with everyone else here. She's going through a rough time and she knows that you care for her, so she's reaching out. But what happens when she gets scared and pushes you away as fast as she can? The distance between you is one that she has created. If you feel safe doing so I would pass a verbal message along that you are glad she's ok.
It's hard to lose someone you care about, and I know you cared for her. But, I also believe that when people leave our lives, it's for a reason. I don't usually give someone the door back in once they've chosen to leave my life.

{{{{{{{{{Sue}}}}}}}}}

I'm thinking about you,
Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
In reply to: bluediamondldy
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 2:26pm

Well, I have to agree with everyone else on this one also....If she really wanted you, she would have come to see you herself or called. I think she just wanted to let you know she was ok knowing that you would be worried. I would send her a "hug" back through your friend with a message that you are glad shes ok and if she needs anything she knows where to find you. Then, as much as it sucks...let it go! ((((HUGS!!)))

Daronda

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
In reply to: bluediamondldy
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 2:42pm

Oh my goodness. Hugs...no nothing in writting...maybe communicate through same pricipal saying you wish her well and how sorry you were to hear about fire...and that you are being respectful of her boundaries but want her well.

PLease please take care...seems like she baited you before? If it got to the level of harrament lawsuite...NC is best.

HUGS

Roxy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
In reply to: bluediamondldy
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 3:31pm

(((((((Blue)))))))


I have to agree with everyone else, but I also think it's ok to send a message through the principal that you appreciate her letting you know that all is ok. It's not ok for her to pull you back into her life without an apology or acknowledgment that the way she treated you was very, very wrong. I always say take the high road, though, but just be careful how you do it.


Hugs


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
In reply to: bluediamondldy
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 7:32pm

I think you might be right, but I gotta tell you that it really messed me up. Caly, I have worked so damn hard at getting her in a box with the lid shut tight. All the oldies here with me know that. Now the lid is cracking open. This is way too painful to open the box again. She has never even let me know that there was a baby. I had to hear. As the selfish me, I don't want to do this again and a the human being, I would rather help her than anybody else. This sucks and makes me sad.

I'll talk to Jeff and see what he thinks.

Hugs and thanks to everyone. Nothing written for fear of harrassment issues.

Blue Sue

BLUE DIA

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