Need to share this ..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Need to share this ..
34
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 10:50pm
I'm down just now... and scared of course.. and feeling likea

 C  >^. A .

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 11:13pm

First, don't do anything tonight. When you are emotionally worked up, it is never a good time to confront anything or anybody. I think in the light of day is a better time. I actually don't know what to think about this. I mean, if she was told not to call on personal lines, then she shouldn't be. But, on the other hand, she actually called YOUR number and she must have know that you would answer and start questioning, so maybe it's all legit. Try not to lose sleep over this tonight while we all ponder this latest chapter.


(((((Cat)))))


Hugs from me to you.


Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Thu, 09-13-2007 - 11:22pm
Thanks Blue for answering.. But no... she didn't know it was my number..

 C  >^. A .

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2005
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 12:14am

{{{{{{{Cat}}}}}}


I am soooo sorry to hear your pain on this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 12:15am

She seems to be using her authority to minipulate S to work with her is what Sheila thinks. Sheila is a manager too but does call her people when she is home too. But she wouldn't have anything to say that anyone couldn't hear.
She would not say I know you can't talk right now if someone is there. She would discuss her business then be finished with the call.
She and her boss call each other from home all the time to discuss work things but never have a problem with me being around.
Well... she is going to post to you.
I think it sounds suspicious... that she would say "I know you can't talk right now".
But she could say what she wants to say from a work phone as well as a home phone, so, that did not sound professional to me.
I would keep alert. Is this the same person from last year Cat?
I would be so angry if it is. I would still be suspicious if it is not, just because of the tone of the call and S's past history.
Time to play spy and try to borrow a less suspicious car this time.
What is S trying to tell you is going on here. What is her excuse this time. She is making me mad. Last time I gave her the bennifit of the doubt but not this time.
Keep us posted if you call this woman or her boss.
I am here for you Cat. E-mail me or call if you need to or if you lost my number e-mail me for it.
I will help you through this. Maybe it just is sounding suspicious because of what happened last year.
You need to figure this out. S owes you the truth.
Hugs,
Laurie
My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html

Edited 9/14/2007 12:31 am ET by lauriedav




Edited 9/14/2007 12:35 am ET by lauriedav
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 1:27am
Hi Sheila and Laurie.. I am answering both your posts here.. I truely understand a boss or manager

 C  >^. A .

Avatar for mschiffven
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 4:10am
Awww {{{{{Cat}}}}} I'm so sorry you are going through this again. I really, really hope this isn't as bad as it seems. I think looking at it logically- if I was going to see someone behind my partner's back, I would have given out my own cellphone number and never risked that she would call me on my partner's. I would have let her know the best times to call me so that not only would my partner not be around, she wouldn't know that I have given out my own cellphone number......

Could it be that this Jenn has a thing for your 'S' and 'S' hasn't actually done anything to encourage it?

I don't know Cat. I would like to think it's all legit but you know her a lot better than I do! Just don't go off half cocked. Acting out of hurt and frustration almost always leads to regrets later.

You have been so kind and given me great advice when I needed it and I only wish I could repay you now by saying just what you need to get you through this but all I can do is tell you I am thinking of you and send you some hugs {{{{hugs}}}}

visit my web page


visit my web site

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 7:47am

 


Hugs,


Sebastian


 


http://www.facebook.com/sebastianbruce

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 7:56am
Cat,
We are here for you, you know that. I am here to talk you through the evenings if need be. I hope it is as Ven say's legit.
But going on last year it is so hard to tell. At least she did not go in.
I would keep track of things and keep one eye open to see this through.
It could be it is nothing and it just sounds like something based on last years experience.
Hugs,
Laurie

My web pages
http://homepage.mac.com/lauriedav/PhotoAlbum1.html http://hometown.aol.com/didoangst/myhomepage/photo.html
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2007
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 8:57am

Hi...


Since you invited comments from newbies, I'm going to give it a stab..


I'm sorry for the turmoil you face. It's very difficult to be rational, when we feel our foundation, being threatened.


I have a pretty clear cut perspective on this. I love my girl, I want this relationship to work. I want her to tell me what makes her uncomfortable, or threatened...valid or not, I own it acknowledge it and validate her feelings.


Then I can talk about it and hopefully ease her fears/concerns if talking fails, then I must take action. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, it is my responsibility to 'fix' my external relationships, be it work, family, social, that affect my girl. It's my responsibility. No one else's.


I'm sorry that I don't know your history. Maybe you can have an honest conversation with your partner. Tell her that you expect she will addresses this issue head on. Tell her that you expect her to sit down with this woman and tell her that their relationship must be strictly work related. When this woman calls your number, she must identify herself to whoever answers the phone and clearly and politely express the motives for the call. The tone of their interaction must be professional, nothing more.


If all the civil conversations fail...then your partner may want to take it up with HR.


I'm sorry for being straightforward...but your partner has much more power over 'fixing' this issue/problem, than you, or the other woman have.


Lastly, when we hear warning bells, we must take action. Process yours and act on it, by expressing your needs. Put it on the table, see where your partner goes with it.


I wish you much wisdom to deal with these issues.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2006
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 9:01am

Ok from a Manager's viewpoint here is my take.

 PPCLSIG.jpg picture by CalyD44

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