Men flirting with you...............

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Men flirting with you...............
16
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 7:54pm

One of my favorite coworkers is a male nurse. I call him my don't worry be happy, feng shui, budda nurse. He's great to work with because he's very laid back and easy going. He knows I'm gay, he's always joking we should go out chick watching together. We worked together on Friday and had a really uncomfortable discussion. He was the charge nurse, so I was sitting next to him doing Dr's orders. It was a really hard day. I told him I was going to go home, have a beer and a bubble bath. He told me that he wished he could sit on the floor next to the bathtub reading me poetry and putting bubbles on my breasts. My jaw hit the floor, I was really uncomfortable. I told him neither of our wives would like that. He told me what they didn't know wouldn't hurt us. US? There is no us............at this point I went on my dinner break. Later on I asked him why he was flirting with me. I jokingly asked him if he didn't get the unit's gay list when he started working there. He told me all men like a challenge and getting with a lesbian is the biggest challenge there is.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 8:23pm

Gee, Shannon, this is a tough one. Do you think that he thinks that if you have "one good night" with him, that will change you "back." The way that you first described him was just like a good bud. YOU are not his challenge. Hello! He's married and so are you.


The problem as I see it is that he has changed the nature of your relationship. You went from friendly, harmless(flirting, et.al) buddy, to

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 9:04pm

I'm glad you agree with me that his comment was over the line. I thought maybe I was over reacting. But, my best friend of 20+ years is a guy.....I'm used to being around guys and not feeling strange. He just gave me that bad feeling in my gut. I don't know what he's thinking. I'm going to walk in tommorow as if nothing happened and hope he does the same. If he brings it up we'll have to have some straight talk and he won't like it one little bit. Sigh..........it sucks because he really is a close bud.

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 9:35pm

I am so sorry you are experiencing this! It makes me wonder what people think? Don't they know that you want to feel safe at the workplace and not have to feel awkward? I just don't get very "familiar" with people who i deal with professionally. I have learned to have clear boundaries. I am sorry that he seems to lack "common sense."

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 10:28pm
Go with your gut feelings. I always do and I think it helps alot.
My one best friend is a straight guy too. He and I went through this type of thing. He really wanted to have sex with me.
I told him it was never going to happen anymore than he would have sex with another man. He seems to have dropped it since then.
Hope it stays dropped from now on. Good luck if it does not.
Hugs,
Laurie

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Avatar for mschiffven
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 11:32pm
His comment was definitely over the line!! Maybe he needs you to explain that Lesbian means I don't do men! And Man means him....

I wouldn't worry too much about how it will change your friendship. Men are used to getting told no all the time, aren't they?! Just carry on as usual and he probably will too.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 8:48am

That's really too bad that he took what was a really good thing and crossed the line. I'd probably just do as you plan and act like nothing happened. But, if he keeps pressing, you do need to say something. He's very close to overstepping the sexual harassment line.


I hope he can just let it go and move on so you can be good friends again.


Hugs


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Avatar for nursepam2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 10:16am

~tries to not overreact~


While I do not, per se, have huge issues with men who flirt with lesbians (as long as they take no for an answer), this man was acting in the capacity of your supervisor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 12:29pm

I guess I was worrying about nothing, at least for today. Our census is very low today, they just called me off. Woo hoo day off!

Shannon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 12:30pm
hey irishowl, i think it kinda sucks having to stuck in this unwanted situation yeah. anyway i do think that there's smthing wrong with him, in a way. you know, not the mental kind of way, or rather his ego is in the way. maybe he was bored. and that "winning you over" would be a really huge achievement or some sort, i don't know. i guess you really respect ur wife that's why this worries you alot. hope everything will turn out fine =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 12:54pm

If I told my wife about this she would seriously kick his a-- even with her jacked up back. She has a jealous streak a mile wide.

Shannon

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