Treating yourself Well.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Treating yourself Well.....
11
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 4:08pm

Doing Healthy things for yourself All the Time...whether you are in the midst of a break up, the begining of a relationship , coupled, or single......is a good thing. And *I* have found falls to the way side when I am feeling lonely or ansy or restless. And why? When doing the above would solve so much ?


Ever heard the idea that we treat Strangers better than we treat our lovers...and I think ourselves ? I think it's true. A long time ago, while single for nearly 3 yrs. I go to the point that I Really felt Complete all by myself. It came as an epiphany I had watching a gorgeous sunset alone at a place in Dallas I called "little Seattle"... a lake I frequented that I used to walk fast then started running and would mentally talk to myself (self talk) that was very healing and positive. I mean, I was bursting with this stuff ! After a series of little things I began doing for myself :bubble baths with candles, making full meals, a new outfit or two...I began (what I called ) "Dating my Self". (smile)


I would do the ritual of getting ready to go out for a date, the primping and dressing nicely, then go to a movie and or dinner...or go window or real shopping, to a museum, linger a long time in a used bookstore...all the things that I alwasy had to ask the Other person I might be with...if they wanted to do it , too. I even had a date with myself at home. Great meal, put on sensuous music and danced..I was even wear a red silk lounging top...had a fire in the fireplace, candles lit...had

"Thoughts are things! Think Good ones!"

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 8:33pm

What a great idea! I am now coming home alone every night, but most weekends. The past weekends I have been at S's. Tonight is one of those alone times. I am just too exhausted from three college games this afternoon, but I still think it is a wonderful idea to pamper yourself.


During the week I went to Barnes and Noble by myself. I should have taken more time and browsed, but I dropped in to pick up a Curve magazine and then headed out. I had a brief moment when I thought I should grab a coffee and relax, but I let it pass. Next time I will stay and have a "date." lol


I really like the idea of feeding myself well. I haven't been doing that this past week, because it was my first week really alone, and I am a bit off guard. When stbxh and kids were around I would always plan the evening meal in the morning before I left and take something out of the fridge. I haven't done that in months. Good plan, though.


Thanks for the inspiration.


Hugs


Blue

BLUE DIA
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 9:03pm

Your welcome Blue. I did it again today. I just got back from seeing a movie (The Kingdom...oooh, very violent, tho') and had overpriced nachos and coke....8 bucks for parking.But hey, it's the idea of the action..altho' i really cannot do it everyday or very much.


"Thoughts are things! Think Good ones!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2007
Sat, 10-06-2007 - 9:04pm

Thanks for sharing Brandy. I think it's so important to take good care of yourself and it's something I am still learning to do. During the week I tend to be really busy and one way I take care of myself is by letting some stuff slide. The house doesn't have to look perfect. I used to feel guilty but not anymore. My sanity is more important. I have weekends off but tons of school work.....TONS! This weekend especially, LOL. I try to give myself chunks of time that I have to work and then time to rest. I actually write that down in my planner, just like everything else.

Shannon

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 7:52pm

What a great post!...I am going through a break-up ( actually it's already broken up) and I have been letting myself down. Not cooking meals for myself ( unless a handfull of almonds is a meal) and just staring blankly at the television.


Well today I decided enough was enough and grabbed a good book and went to the top of my favorite mountain and read ( and cried) and just watched the birds and trees to clear my head.


I am glad I saw your post.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 10-07-2007 - 8:00pm

I am so glad it helped you, Nora. My days have been up and down and really knocking me topsy-turvey.A wise lady just told me that what I am going thru is trying to fill the hole where my ex left. So I am doing my best to find healthy things to do. Some are not so healthy, so I will call a trusted friend if I start heading that way.


"Thoughts are things! Think Good ones!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 1:03pm

This is a concept I have such a hard time with. Being a wife and mother for so many years, the focus was always on taking care of others. Taking care of me felt like I was being selfish. There have been so many changes in my life in the past couple of years (lost a parent, divorced, kids leaving home, fell in love with a woman, lost my job, my partner started school while working full time), that I really do see the need to 'take care of me'. Thanks for the reminder!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 1:32pm
Thanks so much for sharing this- a date with yourself- fantastic concept!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 2:23pm

This is so important for all of us. It's so easy to get in a rut with everyday stresses. You are a model for all of us! I'm glad that you're trying to turn all the negative energy into positive things. One of the best things any of us can do is learn to be by ourselves. I have always been able to do that. It brings me peace.


I never feel guilty about taking time for myself or for just Caly and me. If I'm a happier person overall, I can be a better mom to DDs. We're only human. We shouldn't try to be superwomen, and we shouldn't be expected to give up our lives and identities for anyone else.


Take care and hugs...


Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 3:56pm

Hi Brandy,


Wow - I really admire you and your treating yourself so well. Sounds like you're a great best friend to yourself and it sounds like you really have a great head on your shoulders and a big heart towards yourself and others. When alone or more alone, the motivation is sometimes scarce to really focus upon oneself and it can seem selfish, but is indeed important and not really mentioned a lot.


This is the first time in my life I've been truly single since I was 19 (now am 41). At first, I hated doing things alone as the highlight to me was always enjoying even the simplest of things with my partner, but like you, I've realized that I don't need to compromise with anyone to do exactly what I want. :) I still don't make plans to go out to eat alone unless I'm hungry while already out... I'm not sure, but eating alone while at a restaurant is the activity that makes me feel especially lonely.

PictureThis2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 5:28pm

Think I'll try the movie idea this week...the new Jodi Foster movie.

 

Pages