I know something is wrong with me....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I know something is wrong with me....
6
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 1:36pm
I know I have anxiety and when it gets really bad, I take my prescribed Xanax. I don't think I have told my doctor about the worrying, he is a new doctor because I moved. I excessively worry about everything. Especially thoughts and visions of bad things happening to loved ones (God forbid) or my boyfriend leaving me, especially recently since we had an issue that almost broke us up. Which was my fault (really). I worry so much and I don't know how to control it. It makes me nervous and unhappy. I feel abnormal. I know that a lot of the worrying probably stems from loosing my mother to cancer when I was 13 and that I got divorced just under 2 years ago that was a failure. I am going to see my doctor tomorrow at 1pm. I thought about telling him about my worries and getting some long term medicine. I really can't afford to go to a therapist, and my insurance is terrible. I try to calm myself down but sometimes it's impossible. When things are going well in my life and if I have little stress than these symptoms become almost unnoticable. BUT, If stress in my life starts to escalate, then I can almost not take it. I am NOT at all suicidal, just to clear that up. Anyone have any helpful advice. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 9:34am
Your going to be o.k. I think that you going to see your doctor and telling him exactly what you posted here is a great idea. I have the same worries as you, thoughts of bad things happening, and constant worry about thoughts that I have. I went to my doctor and she started me out on 25 mg of Zoloft. I see her in one month and then she may increase it to 50 mg. (this is considered a very low dose)I am going on my second week so far on Zoloft, and like you, I have Xanax for when it seems to really bother me.

When things are going well for me, I feel pretty good, like I don't need anything! I went for months without taking the Xanax. I just decided that after 2 or 3 years of feeling like this, I may as well get off the roller coaster and give medication a try.

I even worry about taking the Zoloft, and even though I know it's REALLY a small dosage, I freak out about that too. I don't want to be on medication, But I am starting to think that if it's going to make me feel better then I should give it a try. I don't want to settle for only feeling good for only one or two weeks out of the month, I want to feel good every day if I can.

Good luck to you, and welcome. I am so glad and relieved when I read your posting. You will find that you are not alone here, and that your not losing your mind. Anxiety stinks and we are all dealing with it together.

Amanda

Amanda

When someone tells you that you can't go any farther, just tell them to look behind you and see how far you've

Avatar for mslindab
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 11:37am
I also worry excessively. I finally went to a therapist and tried to talk it out, but still haven't gotten to the bottom of my worries. I am now on Zoloft, 50 mgs. for almost 8 weeks, and I think that it is helping. I just had a problem with some anxiety the last few days and had to take some Ativan, but before that I hadn't taken one for 2 1/2 weeks. So that must be progress. I think that sometimes our own intuition tells us what we really should do, like you thinking you should go to the doctor. Someone told me, try medication, if you don't like it, then you don't have to take it, but it might make a big difference for you. At least talk to someone about it--talking helps. Take care. Lin
Avatar for iheidi66
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 3:44am
The kinds of worries that you describe are ones that I can relate to. It sounds like you have had a lot of stress in your life and so you are anticipating possibilities. I do that, too. A lot of what you describe CAN fall into OCD--you can have the obsessive, intruding thoughts without compulsions and that can be OCD related.

I was on Zoloft for two years for depression but kept getting the anxiety/panic attacks. I take Clonazepam "as needed" for anxiety. Something that has made a difference, though, is that for about a month and a half now I've been on Lexapro instead of the Zoloft, and the disturbing thoughts have all but disappeared. The original recommendation from my therapist was Celexa because besides being an anti-depressant it targets the part of the brain that deals with OCD-type thoughts. My doctor prescribed Lexapro because it is only the active ingredient that Celexa has (Celexa also has inactives), so 10 mg of Lexapro is equivalent to 30 mg of Celexa.

I would definitely talk to your doctor about medication. It's not worth living with all the anxiety that these kinds of thoughts and worries keep around. I have not had any side effects at all from the Lexapro.

Something else I use is a visualization I got from the book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. He talks about living in day-tight compartments. The only thing in the compartment is today. Not yesterday, and not tomorrow. Only today, and you tell yourself that that's all you have to concern yourself with. In reality, it's the only thing you have control over. The "what ifs" are what can really drive me crazy. It takes practice, but the compartment thing really works for me. I've even used it for bedtime when I've not been able to sleep because of worry. I'll picture an old-fashioned sleeping compartment on a train with the door closed, and tell myself that the only thing I need to do right now is sleep. Everything else can wait outside the door. You can do hour-tight compartments, too, if you're REALLY stressed out.

I hope you feel better, and that you're able to get the help from your doctor.

Heidi

~*~*~*~*~*~*

"That which we pers

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:00am
From iamsannas: To all posts:

Thanks for your thoughts and advice. I went and saw my doctor yesterday and he put me on Effexor. I will start taking it Monday. I hope it helps. I am going away for the weekend so a lot of my stress will be left behind. Hope everyone is well, and feel free to email me at na73@aol.com anytime. Thanks again -N

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 11:24am
I think its great that you talk to your doctor about how you feel. i hope you have a great weekend and that when you start your med on monday it will go good. Please let us know how you are doing. Take care, Diane

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 4:06pm
UPDATE:

Well, My insurance doesn't cover Effexor so my doctor switched me to BuSpar. I haven't felt a difference yet, but it is too soon to tell. On top of it all my long-distance boyfriend has become quiet and withdrawn, so it looks like he is going into his "cave" so to speak. I think I posted before on this site that we were having issues that was the result of me having a slight "infidelity" pre-commitment. SO my anxiety is at an all time high. I thought we were getting through the mess, he feels the honeymoon period is over because of this. I think he needs to get the "fantasy of perfection" out of his head. We have only been together for 10 months. I have to work on my independance that I sometimes loose when I am having a lot of anxiety. My doctor doesn't want to keep me on the Xanax because he says it can be addicting. I am going to try to stay busy with my friends and make sure I don't act clingy or needy to my boyfriend. I know men hate that, no matter how much they love you.