Need Help - Very Bad Day and Night

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Need Help - Very Bad Day and Night
43
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 7:14am

Hello again. For the last few days, I have felt the oncoming of anxiety but after a few moments, the feeling would subside - until yesterday. My husband and I were waiting for a table at a restaurant and suddenly I felt depressed and that doom feeling. I felt nervous and then felt heat surge through my body until I broke into a sweat. I felt better for just a second, we were seated at a table and then nausea set in and I ran to the bathroom with diarreha. I went back to the table and felt extremely anxious and could not stand it. I told my hubby we had to go. I got up, told the guy up front to cancel the order, and went out to my truck. I then started bawling. I was so frustrated because this has not happened since I started Zoloft 8 weeks ago. I was doing so well. We drove around some and ran errands and then I started getting cold, then hot, cold, then hot. I felt very nauseous and started shaking and could not breathe. I felt my stomach and hands and legs tighten up as if they were stiff as a board. It was so scary. I could not get ahold of myself, even with deep breathing. We got home and I threw up. I then felt exhausted but was still having the chills and sweats. I was scared to death. I then took an Ativan and feel asleep about an hour later for 2 hours. When I woke, I felt that weird drained, devoid of emotion feeling the rest of the evening. We watched 2 movies and went to bed. I feel asleep just fine but woke several times fearing another attack as soon as I awoke. Now it is 7am and I got up to eat some oatmeal because my stomach felt empty and was churning. Here I am now, feeling shaky again and scared to death that my med is not working at all anymore and I am going to have to live like this every day! I just cannot go through all this again. It is so hard. Please help. Is what I am describing still anxiety attacks or something more?

Kim

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 10:17am

Kim,

you poor thing!! this s--- sucks!!!!!

did you eat something earlier that day? sometimes
i wonder do i have a bad stomach or nerves, which
comes first?? does one make the other happen and
vice versa....

i would say take more ativan, don't fight it,
i know i do but it's ridiculous, you are going
to feel better, i can bet my eyeballs on it :)

i hate that waiting for it to happen, i have a panic
attack and it turns into a bad week, it's like
a have a monkey on my back and i'm waiting, waiting,
am i ok, how do i feel now, etc...

have you read any books on panic? i have read a few
and they are very comforting, right now i am reading
the panic diaries, it's cute and informative..

BREATHE!
kris - shawnstalter@comcast.net
where do you live, i'm in NJ

Avatar for jukie33
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 12:23pm

HI,


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 2:34pm
Hi Kim its Bee. Reading your post made me feel so bad for you! But you no and I know that what you had was a panic attack, nothing less nothing more, all the classic symptoms were there , read back about panic / anxiety and all the feelings you said you felt will be listed there. Your attack that nite in the restaurant were exactly the same as when I have a attack. Being out and in a crowd would make it much harder to practice all your self help techniques, but once you got outside I bet you felt better. You had the fight and flight respond, most likely because the attack came on so fast. Take your ativan Kim it will help and just keep the positive faith and remenber all the hard work you've been doing, get mad at the panic and just tell yourself that you came too far to let this start all over again.I took my ativan for a month when the panic came back and glad that I did because it gave my body time to relax and be able to think clearer and refocus on all my self help. You have to do whats needed when needed be strong and do what you have too. I know its hard Kim we've all been there but we are also very strong which is a good thing , use your strength and you'll be fine. Keep me up dated and I will be here over the holidays if you need someone to talk to just e-mail me or come here to the board. Have a Very Merry Christams Kim!
Brenda (Bee)
PS .... A good book to get is From Panic to Power by Lucindia Bassett I am reading it now and it is doing wonders for me! Go Get it Kim!
e-mail beemerrill@hotmail.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 3:10pm

Hi Kris. Thanks for writing to me. I feel just horrible. I can't think of anything that I ate that was bad. I have been exercising a lot more lately and it has been really helping me feel good but I have not been drinking as much water and I get dehydrated sometimes and get really sick so I am wondering if that is what happened. Maybe the sickness triggered the anxiety. I just cannot seem to shake this. I feel so bad. I was hoping I'd be ok this morning but I was a total mess from like 3am until 10am. Then I was up and down all day and I still don't feel right. I so badly want to go back to feeling good like I was. I think the Zoloft was really working and I was feeling like my old self, now I am a mess again. So upsetting...

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 3:14pm

Thank you Julie. I started on 25mg for 1 week then 50mg for 2 weeks and now have been on 100mg for 4 weeks. I was doing so well. Maybe my dosage does need to be increased. My mom takes 150mg and I know some people take 200mg. This felt so horrible to deal with after I was doing so well. It makes me feel like I am back to square 1 again. I just hate it. I try not to get so worked up but I can't seem to win the battle this time. Today has not been as bad as yesterday but I sure feel miserable. I can't seem to stop thinking about it. I am helping my husband bake and I have been cleaning house and trying to watch a movie but nothing seems to help...

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 3:20pm

Hi Bee. Thanks so much for writing. I have enjoyed talking to you in the past too. I am fighting back tears as I write this. I just feel so discouraged, like I am going to have to live this way every day again. I just can't do that. It feels so awful. I was doing so well for weeks and then BAM it came back full force with that big attack yesterday. Ever since then I have been having those awful anticipation feelings which make me so depressed. I want so badly to feel normal again. You are right, what I had yesterday was a classic panic attack, nothing more. Now I feel better about that. But, I am so darn scared that I am going to feel miserable like this everyday and that my Zoloft has stopped working. I sure hope it has not. Question for you - you mentioned you took your Ativan for a month when you needed it, did you have problems coming off of it? I am afraid of addiction from things I have read. I have only used mine 2 different times, and only 1 of the .5mg pills each time. I know that is not enough for addiction to be a concern, but if I need to take it everyday for a week or so, I am afraid of what it will do to me. Fear is a big problem of mine, in case you can't tell. That is one of my biggest problems.

Thanks for being available during the holidays - I just might need to take you up on that!

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 12-24-2004 - 4:01pm

You will be ok, Kim. I know that sounds trite & as if I don't care about you. But that can't be further from the truth. I know that what you are experiencing is so much like many of us have. You are as my gramma always said *not to do* & that is *borrowing trouble.* You will *not* be like this forever. Bad anxiety has a limit & all spells eventually lose steam & burn themselves out.

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Sat, 12-25-2004 - 8:47am

Hi Jan. Thanks so much for your post. I really appreciate all that you said. Around 5pm yesterday I started to feel normal again and it lasted through bedtime, which I am very glad for. This morning I woke with that dread feeling which I know is aftermath from the past 2 days and worrying that it is coming back. I am struggling this morning to get ready so my husband and I can go make our rounds to see family today. I keep telling myself that I have fought through this before and will be able to again. It works one minute and does not work the next. I am hoping my Zoloft will kick in and help me today and in the meantime, I just keep telling myself that these weird feelings don't mean anything and that I am still me and can feel normal again. These mind games we have to play are so tiring. They really are as I am sure you know. I will take the Ativan if I really need it like I did the other day. It is amazing how 1 big attack can set you back for days, isn't it? It is so powerful. Thanks for being there.

I hope you and your family have a nice Christmas today.

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sat, 12-25-2004 - 10:43am
Hi Kim
Merry Xmas hope you are feeling better. About the ativan, yes I took mine everyday for a month, I was on the same dose as you, and some times I would only take 1/2 of that and it was enough for me, at the time I was waiting to see my Doc and it was the only thing I had on hand and I sure needed something so I took it and it helped, once I got to my Doc she changed me over to clonazepam which is of the same family drug but stays in the system longer, not as fast acting as the ativan. With both drugs I have no problem when it is time for me come off of them, I just do it slowly and I am fine,my Doc also said with such a small dose that I take it wouldn't hurt me, she has even told me to have the ativan still handy for emergency's and it it fine to use the two together, like if I took clonzepam in the morning but felt that I needed some thing faster acting that afternoon to take the ativan, I haven't had to do that as of yet and hope that I don't need to ,but feel reassured that I can. Both these drugs are used mainly for panic/anxiety only, I do not take a antidepression , I don't do well with those at all. Waiting for that next attack is the worst Kim, that is what holds us to that fear, I no its hard but when you feel those anxious feelings just try to tell your self that its just anxiety and it won't hurt me and I'm not afraid of it and it will lessen then go away, and as you no keeping busy helps, you can get through it again and you will be fine I am sending you a prayer and strenght through God. Have a wonderful day Kim and enjoy !
Bee (Brenda)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Sat, 12-25-2004 - 12:49pm

Hi kim,
You do not know me but I am so glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better today. Your post is much more calm. I know the nervousness of the holidays has set much stronger than I into panic and madness. Be easy on yourself and try to not expect everything to be perfect. Life isn't perfect and we should not expect such from ourselves or others in our lives!

There also is not a perfect med. While it does the trick the actual purpose of the med is to help to give us the ability to work with our minds to keep these things in check. You can't expect never to have another attack but you can expect to learn to get in under control better than you would be without the med. You have to look at this as a very positive and powerful thing. It's like the cup being half full or half empty thing.

I have said a prayer for you that your holiday remains calm and that you feel some of the Christmas peace that we tend to remember when we think back on past holidays.

Many hugs and I'll check in on you later,

My heart,
Vicky

Pages