will i ever go crazy? :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
will i ever go crazy? :)
13
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 5:17pm

i suffered from intrusive thoughts that caused
panic attacks when my 4yo was a baby. it was really
BAD!! of course they still come and go.

i don't know if you heard but a mom in Roselle Park, NJ
killed her 14 yo daughter then tried to kill herself by
driving off of rt. 78. (couldn't she try herself first!!)
btw, i live in the next town.

anyway, it crosses my mind, would i ever do that....i know it's
ridiculous, but i don't even want the stuff in my head.

it all comes down to......will i ever go crazy?!!

it's a pain in my a--!!

kris - who is NOT panicky and who DOESN'T watch the news,
but why does my dh tell me these things..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 7:12pm

God love you, Kris. This has you shook up & that's understandable. Intrusive thoughts are so much different than *voices* or what they call auditory hallucinations or, actual homocidal thoughts. IMHO, the woman you are speaking of, suffered from one of these type of thought disorders, or she was so depressed that she felt she needed to take her dd's life, rather than leave her behind, when she took her own. Tragically, an even worse situation developed. If that is possible to say worse. My goodness, what will she do now without her dd?


Our anxiety causes our intrusive thoughts. Rarely, if ever do we act on them. I will give you an example. Ppl who are terrified of crossing bridges or flying in a plane, fear that when they are in the situation, they may jump off the bridge or jump from the plane, putting all the passengers @ peril. However, there are therapists out there who work with these ppl & sit beside them, as they learn to cross bridges or fly without fear. The therapists do NOT fear for their personal safety, as they KNOW ppl do not act on these intrusive thoughts that come with anxiety. HTH


As for your dh sharing this tragedy, what was he thinking? Is he showing any remorse @ all? Does he know how much this has upset you? I can't be there, but if it was me, I would tell him exactly how I felt hearing this news & it's affect on me. I would ask him to please use some consideration in the future. You know, Kris, ppl sometimes do not think. When I was 8 months pregnant with my dd, a co-worker came to my gramma's funeral. That was very nice of her. She proceeded to tell me about a newborn @ our hospital born with an awful defect & asked if I had heard about it? That was not so nice. Hope you feel better soon. Try to think on positive things. Keep in touch. (((hugs))) jan


P.S. No, you will not go crazy with anxiety & intrusive thoughts. *Crazy* ppl have no clue that they have lost it. They would never fear losing it, as they don't know the difference between mentally healthy & mentally ill.

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 5:41pm

I know how you feel. I have all kinds of horrible intrusive thoughts. It makes you feel so weird at times. And it always seems to be thoughts about those who you are closest to.
That makes it real hard. I don't fear that I will actually do horrible things as much as I fear horrible things will happen to me, but it is the same concept either way. You are afraid you will carry out the thoughts you have, and I am afraid I will get some terrible disease just because I hear someone else has it. But, I do fear I am going to go crazy and be totally helpless at times. That scares me too. Hang in there. They really are just thoughts. I am reading a book called From Panic to Power and it is really helping me some. You might want to try it.

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 8:08pm

Hi Kris,

I suffer from intrusive thoughts on occasion too. I used to suffer from them more often before my doctor prescribed my current meds. Like you, I wondered if I would ever do something horrific based on these thoughts and I really, REALLY, didn't like even having these thoughts in my head.

However, I have decided that I will not go crazy. I am getting the help I need with these thoughts and learning to deal with them as just thoughts and nothing more.

I wish you the best in finding some peace from your mind running amuck.
Brightest Blessings,
Annika

Brightest Blessings, Annika


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 12:42pm
Intrusive thoughts are really nothing more than random thoughts that everyone has at one time or another. The only difference is that in an anxiety or fatigued state they tend to stick there. The harder you fight for them to go away, the stronger they become. The more afraid you are of them, the more they stay. One must learn to relax with these thoughts - however awful they might seem - and realize that they are only thoughts. Because you are so afraid of them or bothered by them is proof that you will not act on them. The truly insane person does not know that his thoughts are strange. And, no, you do not go crazy from anxiety. May I suggest that you read Dr. Claire Weeks - Hope and Help For Your Nerves for a better understanding of this. Simple, easy to read and understand, very reassuring, and available in paperback form in book stores or on amazon.com.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Thu, 03-10-2005 - 1:13pm
I have never posted to this board, I am definitely a lurker. Anyway, I have suffered from anxiety and I also believe some depression (because of my anxiety) for about 4 years now. I have taken medication on and off. I have months and months of no anxiety and WHAM, it hits me for no reason. It's so weird and it seems to be getting worse! I truly can never find a trigger for it. Anyway, going crazy has lately been my biggest fear because I sometimes think, I must be losing it because why does this keep happening? Anyway, I go to the doctor yesterday to request an SSRI and I asked him, "can anxiety make a person go crazy?" You know what he said? Yes! I swear I left the office with an instant panic attack which I can't remember the last time I've had one of those. I couldn't even respond! What do you think he meant? By the way, I love coming to this site, it feels good knowing that I am not the only one who suffers from this! I wouldn't wish anxiety on my worst enemy!! Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 03-10-2005 - 6:07pm

We love lurkers! Especially when they de-lurk:) Welcome to our community. I don't know what this dr. meant & I won't try to second guess him. I will say that in my 30 plus years of having anxiety/panic & knowing others who do, as well, I have never known anyone to *go crazy.*None of the literature on any of the respected websites, nor my personal library of psychiatry & psychology books have ever mentioned it. It is commonly discussed on this board & the literature collaborates, that ppl with anxiety, *think or feel* they might go crazy. They NEVER do. Try not to dwell on this. That was an off hand remark from an uncaring & totally unempathetic person who should NOT be practicing medicine.


You will be just fine, gal. I have been dying with panic attacks for so long, that it amazes me that I'm still

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-10-2005 - 9:03pm
A "lurker" de-lurking is reason for celebration!!!

Blessings, Suz   Posts in this Community   

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 11:15am
Thanks Jan, that made me feel a lot better. I've been stressed all weekend about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2004
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 12:49pm

BASAL1999,
This is my first visit here. I'm a regular in the post partum depression board and am there b/c I too suffer from intrusive thoughts which are terrible thoughts of harming my baby. I NEVER WOULD ACT ON THEM but just when the thoughts creep on in, it's like "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE"!!!. I never knew I had anxiety but when I had my son, the thoughts were racing so fast. I quickly sought therapy and found the answers I was desperately seeking. I'm not crazy after all, I found out. I love my baby with all my heart and it kills me when I have these thoughts towards him. It's not fair but anxiety doesn't care who it effects. I tried some meds which didn't work so I have to seek a psychiatrist to get medicine managed. So BASAL1999, just wanted to let you know I have the experience of intrusive thoughts and
know how you feel. I tell myself I AM A GOOD PERSON and A GOOD MOM! You are the same. It's not our fault this is happening to us.

Just out of curiousity, have you had the thoughts for 4 years and are you on meds? if so, do they help? I tried zoloft and lexapro and they didn't work.

Thanks to everyone else for reminding me that this is the cause of anxiety and not my fault.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 8:02pm

You are not going crazy!!! I think modern society is maximumly geared toward making us anxious and depressed. We are so isolated. Everything has to be done quickly. There is so much work to do, we hardly have time to breath.

I am a pretty successful person in my career. I am happily married. I have successful friendships. I managed to get an advanced degree. I have also been depressed and anxious for years. I am convinced highly sensitive people are often anxious. Too many emotions, and sensory overload. Sensitivity makes for great interpersonal relationships but it can make a person feel crazy at times :) Could I suggest reading Highly Sensitive Person by Elain Aronson? I am sure any public library will carry it. Also anything by Lucinda Basset is great.

Now I am convinced some of those non feeling types are CRAZY.

Good luck. Hugs.

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