Daughter fears she'll die in her sleep

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2004
Daughter fears she'll die in her sleep
3
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 5:43pm

I am very concerned about my daughter. When bedtime comes every night
she gets upset and tells me that she is afraid that she will not
wake up the next morning. She says that she's not afraid of death but
what her Dad and I would do without her.

She is 12 years old but acts very mature for her age. We have moved
around a lot in the last couple of years and she has expressed her
fear that we will move again. However, this is not the case. We
are leasing to buy a home from my Mom and we do not plan on moving
again.

She recently went to the doctor because of dizziness and lightheadedness.
All test results were negative. He couldn't find anything wrong with
her and took her off of some allergy medication.

We do not have medical insurance right now but I feel like she needs
to talk to a child psychologist about this fear. I just don't know
what I can do for her until we can afford a doctor.

Please help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 7:44pm
Hi & welcome to our community. Fears
 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2004
Sat, 03-12-2005 - 12:21pm

I appreciate the suggestions that you gave me.
My daughter lost her pet guinea pig in January and it
seems that these fears manifested from that. Not to mention
the moving and financial strain we have been under for the
last couple of years.
I have suggested talking to someone but she is very hesitant to
do so. She will talk to me all day or night long about her
fears but not someone else.
I try to reassure her as much as I can and sometimes it seems
to help a great deal. She now sleeps with the tv on at night.
It seems to make her feel better. And we also bought her two
parakeets to keep her company and this also seems to help but
at times she feels so lonely that it breaks my heart.
She is an avid animal lover and losing her pet which we had
for four years, has devestated her more than she will admit,
I'm afraid.
I've told her to pray for help, which she says works.
I've pointed out that she wakes up every day.
I tell her how much I love her and what she means to me and her Dad.

My husband just became Manager at a new company so our money situation
has greatly improved. We are in a home that we
all love. I hope this well alleviate her fears to some degree, but
most of all I believe it will take time. It did not happen over night
and it will not go away over night either.

He will have insurance within a couple of weeks so I plan on
taking her to a child psychologist. I just need to help her
in the best way possible until then.

Sometimes I just get frustrated because I cannot fix this for her.
I'm her Mom but I can't make this go away like I can a cut or hurt
feelings.

Thanks for listening.

Sherri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2004
Sat, 03-12-2005 - 3:10pm

Hi,
I really thought I had posted a response to this, but it isnt coming up, so i'm not sure if it went through or if im just not seeing it. Over the summer however, this was my biggest fear also, and I hope that in telling you what worked for me, it can help her. It's kinda hard for me to talk about this so I may be a little general, but I hope the main point gets through.
One night over the summer, I started having a huge panic attack, afraid I wasn't breathing enough. About a month later, once I got that under control, I started having the same feelings your daughter has, that I wouldnt wake up in the morning. I'd be fine throughout the day, but once i started thinking of going to sleep, that would pop in my head and I couldnt control the thoughts. From both seeing a counselor, getting some medication for a brief period and learning some things on my own, i was able to figure out ways to keep my mind focused and to keep those thoughts away.
Seeing a counselor really helped me. He talked to me about how I needed to trust my body, that my body wanted to live, not die and it would take care of me basically. Next, we worked on some ways I could distract my mind. Math is challenging for me, so counting backward helped me to keep my mind focused. When I needed a real challenge, I could try counting in different ways, like by 7's or some other number. When i needed it, this really did help. He also suggested looking at an object and contour drawing it with my eyes, following it without breaking a line.
Taking from this, I was able to learn some other ways that helped me. I'm really interested in names, so sometimes I try to see how many names I can come up with for each letter of the alphabet. Also, I have a story that I'm writing currently, and hope to one day publish and turn into a movie. Thinking about the plot, or trying to picture which actors or actresses could fit the roles. Maybe this could be done with one of her favorite books or something like that. I also have come up with some things that I know will put me in a happy place :), lol it sounds cheesy, but thinking of my SO and I getting married always puts a smile on my face (i'm not just obsessing, we're very much in love, and do plan on it, just don't have the money right now :) )
Something physical that may help is to try to keep her off her bed as much as possible during the day. This way, her body knows that when she lays down, its time to go to bed and she won't have that much time to dwell over these thoughts. In my sophmore year of college, my bed was lofted and I never went on it. As soon as I did tho, I was out within 10-15 minutes most.
Medically, Klonopin (clorazepam i believe) and Ativan (lorazepam) did help me. They are not SSRI's or anti depressants, something I did not want. Instead, for me they kept my mind focused in the present and I wasn't able to think about the past or worry. Also, they do not need to be taken everyday, rather just as needed, something also important to me.
I hope that I helped in some way. If there's anything I can do, I'd be more than happy to help. my email address is Aquamrin16@aol.com. Good luck!

Liz