Do I have a personality disorder?
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Do I have a personality disorder?
| Mon, 03-14-2005 - 2:34pm |
I really need some advise from people who know more than I do about this - I'm afraid maybe I have a personality disorder! For example, for the last two weeks my boyfriend has started to act distant and I have felt like he has been pushing me away. He had a family member in town last week and was closing on a huge new home so I knew he was very busy and wouldn't have much if any time to spend with me. I chatted briefly with him a couple of times earlier in the week and on Thursday asked if he wanted to join me and a couple of friends for dinner or a drink afterwards. He declined and said he was on his way to do two quick errands and was just going home for the night to spend with his relative, but to call him later. When I did, he didn't answer the phone. The next day I called to see what his plans were for the weekend and invite him out to do something on Saturday. He didn't even say hello when I called, just immediatly said he was busy and would call me back in half an hour. I never heard back from him. Later that afternoon a mutual friend called and told me how my boyfriend was actually out at a strip club until 6 am the night before. This was the third time in a month he had cancelled with me because of his late night trips to the strip club (sometimes until 10 am). I called him and left a message that it was very important that we talked because something was bothering me - I really needed to find out if it was true and if he was really pushing me away or if I was just being overly sensitive. He finally returned my call around 5 pm and said he was busy with his relative until 10 pm, but we could meet and talk then. Later at around 10:15 he called to say he was still with his relative and wouldn't be done until after midnight, could we meet at my house the next afternoon. I reluctantly gave in but agreed. The next day I still hadn't heard from him so I called him around 3 pm. He immediately confronted me for calling him when he said he'd call me when he was free. He then said he "wouldn't be free until 6, oh no wait, gotta go over to a friends house first to drop something off at around 6:30-7, how about I swing by after that?" I agreed and was waiting at home around 7:30 ... 7:45 ... 8:00 - nothing. So I tried to call him and his phone was off. I called our mutual friend who he was dropping something off at to see if he was there and was told no he come over joined a couple of other friends and hung out about 1/2 hour and left at 7:30. Finally at 9:00 I tried again and he answered briefly saying he was on the other line and would call back in two minutes, he didn't. Finally around 9:30 he called and acted like nothing was wrong. By then I was furious that he had blown me off for two days when I felt it was really important that we talk about what was seeming like he was pushing me away and acting strange. He accused me of acting crazy and why couldn't I just see he was busy and he wasn't blowing me off and what was wrong with me that I was so riled up about. He kept yelling at me that he was really busy, that I should be more understanding, that he hadn't been ignoring me (yet) - then promptly hung up on me and turned his phone off. I called and left two messages saying I was sorry for being angry at him and asking him to call me back. That was two days ago and I still haven't heard from him. I felt so strongly like he should have made even a few moments in his life to talk to me about something I felt was important. I know I should have just asked to speak with him once and then ignored him until he made an effort to come find me, but I was so anxious to talk to him that it made me keep trying to see him. Do I have some kind of personality disorder for pushing to see and talk to him??

Hi! Nice to see you posting. I am not good @ relationship advice & think you probably would get alot of replies to your problems on a relationship board. Here's a couple to try. In the meantime, why are you waiting around for this man? Why do you think there's something wrong with you? You deserve the best out of life. Is this the kind of life you want? Good luck! Sending P&PT's your way. (((hugs))) jan
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlmrright
Blessings, Suz
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