Decision making driving me crazy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Decision making driving me crazy
1
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 5:52am

Am a right mess at the mo, cannot concentrate on my work.

I am soo torn about whether to move out of my house or not.

I have had problems wiht my housemate in the past, and altohugh the last few weeks have been okay I told myself I'd move out, so sort of feel like I have to now. I do feel at home most of the time, but do feel uncomrtable around her. We both have our inseciurities and over the last year I have come off my ADs (for depression and anxiety) and am trying to cope with my anxious feleing smyself. She is also a worrier and so I woryr if this is a negative environment for me to be in. She is friendly with me but she can be quite pedantic about noise (if I talk quietly on the phone in my room she knocks on my door and tells me to be quiet at 10.30pm and bleieves if a man comes back i sohuld only whisper. (that doesn't happen very often) Anyother cuase of stress is her friend who has brought back random guys to shag before, and caused arguments. When this friend comes to stya I get really nervous in case it happens again, depsite their promises.

I have only known this girla year and we got close very quickly which caused us to argue a lot (we worked together as well) I tihnk as we relied too heavily on eahc ohter we then got too emotionally involved and even tohugh we are more distant now, it is difficult. If we had buolt up a friendship more slowly I might not feel like this. I no longer work with her but find it difficult to act as friendly with her she can be quite insensitive without noticing it - for exmaple I don't have a great family life and when i say I'm upset my mum didn't call, she'll say 'Oh my mum calls all the time' - her idea of sympathy. Our other housemate was my friend originally but they both get on well and I would be very sad to leave this second housemate.

So on one hand I think perhaps a fresh start somewhere with someone I don't know is needed. I am constantly worrying aobut what to do without actually making a decision. I only have to give a month's notice but I seem to kepe putting it off, wondering if my feelings are reason enough to move. I have told both housemates I am tihnking about it and will let them know by next week, arg!

I consider myself a considerate housemate but I am also quite fussy about who I live with. I guess I am really nervous about who I will end up sharing with next. As it will be a stranger, I am scared I won't know what they are like and they may end up being inconsiderate, or noisy or we just won't click. I'm use dot knowing my housemates well and being relaxed. Sometimes i think the 'business relationship' that will come from a new situation might be what I need so I can focus on building my slef esteem up instead of spending days worrying about what to do, ie move or stay. Part of me thinks I should stay as i'm just being silly, or wierd, but then I know where you live is important. I just worry i might be like this everyone I live, but then, i wasn't like it in the past. I don't know, any advice??

xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 03-18-2005 - 7:48am
Hello & welcome to our community. I will be honest & say that I am puzzled by your post & have no idea what it is you're seeking. Decision making is a part of life & asking others to make them for us, isn't helpful or productive to us. Maybe others will come along & help you out. For now, I am glad to see you & hope you find what you need in life. We do want the best for you. Sending P&PT's your way. Good luck! (((hugs))) jan