Obsessive Thinking
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| Thu, 03-17-2005 - 7:00am |
Hello again everyone. I posted the other day about having the vivid dreams which I am no longer worried about, and short term memory loss which is still bugging me. I see the doc Mar 31 for a checkup to see how I am doing on Zoloft. I started the full dose of it Nov 25 so I am sure it is at its full potential now. It does curb the anxiety and depression most certainly. I am still in therapy too.
My biggest issue right now is this darn fear of going crazy. I am becoming so obessesed with it that I am making it 10 times worse on myself. I keep telling myself that this is no different than when I obsess over having cancer or some other ailment. But, this is really getting to me. Every time I don't remember something or I do something out of the norm, I freak out and analyze it to death. I am not forgetting appointments or long term memories. I am just forgetting parts of conversations from the day before, things I need to get at the store, etc. Nothing major, but enought to scare me. I have forgotten to put jewelry on before because it is the last thing I do before leaving the house, and my wedding ring is always the last thing I put on because I don't like to get hairspray or anything on it. Yesterday I had everything on but my ring. I totally freaked out because I forgot it. Today I was getting ready for work and never shut the door to the room where my clothes are while I am in there deciding what to wear but today I did for some reason. Not sure why so that freaked me out. I find myself analyzing every little thing that I do now to see if it is out of the norm or not, and I keep testing my memory. I know I am bringing this on myself, I am just so scared that I am going crazy and will end up like people who have to be watched all the time or locked up somewhere because they suddenly forget their name or forget how to get home or to work, or other serious things like that.
Help!
Kim

I can relate to your fear of memory loss- my father and all of his sisters and brothers had alzheimer disease- when I forget something I get totally scared!
I have done a lot of research and things to help my memory-
As I look back on my life I realize that memory was not the greatest ever!
I had trouble with comprehension and recall in reading!
I can read a book and pick it up a year later ---- who am I kidding a week later and
wonder if I read it---
I have now stopped obsessing over this I refuse to get into a tizzy about it anymore!
HOPEFULLY LOL
If we look at everything we do we will all find something bizarre or out of sorts!
I hope this has helped you a bit!
When you get these thoughts try to distract yourself- that works for me
You are not going crazy!!
My son has a very severe mental illness and is not locked up!
He is on meds which help him function!
I know your fear of going crazy is stressful I used to feel that way also.
With time you will see yourself getting better and be more comfortable with this!
Remind yourself of how well you are doing now!
Take care Kim, Judy
Funny you should mention this, Kim, because I've been going through a little bit of the same thing lately. I seem to notice more when I forget things. Like I'll walk into the bthroom and not remember what I went in there for. Or I'll get all my stuff ready to go and forget to grab my water bottle that was sitting right there. Honestly, I'm just telling myself that since I'm currently having anxiety I am distracted. My mind is eslwhere. I'm focusing on what I need to get done and where I need to be and what I need to do to take care of myself. The peripheral stuff, like grabbing a water bottle or remembering to get salt at the store are not included on what my main focus is at the moment, and so I think it's just easy for them to slip my mind. The other day a new friend gave me her phone number. I got home and was going to call her the next day and couldn't find her number and then I couldn't remember if she actually remembered to give it to me because I didn't remember writing it down or her giving me a piece of paper. And then I remembered the following day that I had programmed it into my cell phone because neither of us had a pen. It freaked me out. But then I reminded myself that my mind was focused on cleaning up after the fund raiser we were at and getting stuff to the car and heading to the commisary (military grocery store) to pick up stuff for dinner and going to the PX (military version of wal-mart) for a baby shower gift. All those things were on my mind and I got her number in the middle of it all. I was distracted and not focusing on her or her number in the first place, so I forgot about it. Would this have happened if I wasn't anxious? I don't know. But it very well could have and I would have called it a blonde moment (no offense blondes) instead of freaking out about it.
Not sure if that's helpful at all. LOL But I do know how you feel. And rest assured, you're not going crazy. Forgetfulness is not a symptom of craziness as far as I know. (((Hugs)))
Jess
Hi Kim!! You are not going crazy.
Blessings, Suz
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