Feeling insecure at home

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Feeling insecure at home
11
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 8:44am

I don't know why this has started. I just wish it would leave me alone and I would feel more secure. Starting about January I started having an episode of bad depression and anxiety and panic. Then I started not wanting to be at home alone. I feel scared in my own home. I go to my bf's on weekends and I feel better there but when I come home I feel like I walked into a bad place. I feel empty and alone. I don't know how to feel better about being alone. I want to enjoy my home and some alone time but I seem to just sit in a paralyzed state and do nothing or get on the computer or I leave and visit my mom. Has anyone ever felt this way or understand or how I can handle this?

Tina~

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 6:53pm
Hi sheriann8, I read your post and thought I was reading about myself when my PD started 18 years ago... it was so overwhelming. I hope you have found a good Psych MD... they are invaluable. I was started immediately on medication/Xanax and then had an anti-depressant added to my regime, along with therapy. These attacks will not go away overnight, but you will learn some tricks to help you through the crisis times. Then you will be able to wean back meds.
My initial diversion was crossword puzzles... I hated the things, but a friend introduced me to them when I was having 8-10 panick attacks a day and thinking about cancelling my wedding. (I too was on MLOA, unable to drive, unable to be home alone, unable to be in crowds and all those other frailties.) Well, she gave me a pocket size crossword puzzle dictionary, and the puzzle from the daily paper and pencil that I carried with me everywhere. The puzzle became my "safe place".... I could stop, find a quiet place, and do the hated puzzles. I have now grown to love them and although I don't have them with me always, I still use them to divert my thoughts. Trick is... you really have to concentrate on the puzzle. And unlike other things, the crossword puzzle is always as near a newspaper. I also think honest sharing about your experiences with your circle of friends will help you through the tough moments and ease embarassment. Hang in there! Sending blessings your way to peace of mind.

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