breakdown, dh says i'm *uptight*
Find a Conversation
breakdown, dh says i'm *uptight*
| Sat, 04-16-2005 - 9:57pm |
DS got sick this week, so i spend wednesday night up with him and got sick too. thursday was an awful day. friday, i slept about 3 hrs in the afternoon hoping to *catch up* a bit. then DH went to bed at 8, so i was up with DS for a few more hours. i finally got to sleep and it felt like seconds before DS was waking me up - at 8 AM. and the rest of my day has been awful. i didn't feel like going outside, though it was a beautiful day, and DS wanted to play out there so bad. i ended up going, because i feel bad if i don't take him out on a nice day and he's too young to go outside alone. DH went part of the time. tonight, we were sitting on the porch. i have felt awful all day, pain from my surgery seeming to come back worse today than it has been and am soooooo drained of energy and in a bad mood to top it off. DH finds amusement in annoying DS (2 yrs old), so he grabs him up and is tickling him, then hangs him upside down over the porch (ground floor). DS was screaming at him and not liking it a bit. i told him to put him down cause it's mean and anybody might see that and take it for worse than it is (sat. night is a big night on this street for traffic). so he started in on how *uptight* i am, i'm like that guy on the movie who has to wash his hands nonstop and freaks out about what anybody might think...blah blah blah. i got up and walked in the house and didn't come out for about 20 minutes.
finally, i did and he told me to just go to bed, turn off the music and lights. he took DS to visit his brother's house and play with his cousin. i started bawling before he left because i was so upset about those comments. he said that the last few weeks i have been so *uptight* (that WORD, i hate it!) and nonstop anxiety, and i care too much what people might think and it's getting out of control. he said i need to chill out. i said I CAN'T JUST TURN IT OFF! DON'T YOU GET IT? DO YOU THINK I LIKE THIS??? he said he doesn't love me any less, and he was taking DS out so i could have some quiet time to relax and get some sleep. he said he is trying to understand. i just hate those type of comments.
as if i can just *chill out*? i hate the word *uptight*. omg it bothers me so much.
i just took my xanax to help me calm down this irrational thinking and go to sleep. i am supposed to be taking 3 a day. if i have DS at home, i can't really take it cause i get so sleepy. i'm not used to it yet.
thanks for listening.
leslie
finally, i did and he told me to just go to bed, turn off the music and lights. he took DS to visit his brother's house and play with his cousin. i started bawling before he left because i was so upset about those comments. he said that the last few weeks i have been so *uptight* (that WORD, i hate it!) and nonstop anxiety, and i care too much what people might think and it's getting out of control. he said i need to chill out. i said I CAN'T JUST TURN IT OFF! DON'T YOU GET IT? DO YOU THINK I LIKE THIS??? he said he doesn't love me any less, and he was taking DS out so i could have some quiet time to relax and get some sleep. he said he is trying to understand. i just hate those type of comments.
as if i can just *chill out*? i hate the word *uptight*. omg it bothers me so much.
i just took my xanax to help me calm down this irrational thinking and go to sleep. i am supposed to be taking 3 a day. if i have DS at home, i can't really take it cause i get so sleepy. i'm not used to it yet.
thanks for listening.
leslie

Sounds like its been a rough week for you. I can relate with the hubby issue. I think people who aren't suffering with anxiety and panic attacks have a really hard time relating. My husband always says "its just in your head you are making things worse for yourself", well duh I know that but I can't stop the anxiety. If we could stop it we would, no one wants to live this way. Did you tell your husband that it really hurt you when he called you uptight? Maybe if he understood how much that effects you he won't use those kinds of wordings anymore. I hope things calm down for you and you feel better soon. Hang in there.
Candie
What he said sounds insensitive, but I think that he probably doesn't know how to help you and he's just as perplexed by your anxiety as you are. People that don't experience anxiety like this tend to downplay it and/or insist that we can stop if we want to if we just try hard enough. But the truth is that none of us want to live our lives like this, so we ARE trying to stop it by going on medication, breathing, de-stressing our lives, etc.
I agree with Candie that you need to tell him that what he said is hurtful - and that knowing that he is being criticial is not going to make your anxiety alleviate!
able to turn anxiety on and off whenever I choose. Oh I wished
I could but that is not something I can do! I have learned to
try and ignore these comments while biting my lip!!
As for turning your son upside down and making him scream
I wonder if your hubby thinks your son enjoys that?
I hate teasing it is one of my triggers. But some people just
cannot stop- I suppose it brings them a feeling of great power
or something like it! This is just something my hubby and I have
fought over for over 30 years!! Sorry to go on and on!!
So I will try and chill now and not be so uptight and get a grip!!
LOL Judy