Night time anxiety!! Ugh!!
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| Fri, 05-20-2005 - 2:21am |
Hi everyone!!! I'm still here. I haven't been around much lately, but I read everyday. I'm having some yucky anxiety tonight and haven't been able to relax enough to get to sleep yet. Why is it that if your anxiety gets bad, it has to do it at night?? This is SO frustrating. I've been doing pretty well with my anxiety lately. I'm still working my part time job.
I went to the Dr. on Monday with some pain in the lower right side of my abdomen. The Dr. had a couple of untrasounds done(thinking cyst on my ovary), and those didn't show anything. He said he still couldn't rule out early appendicitis, so he sent me home with a couple of prescriptions. I haven't been in pain, but I've been really uncomfortable with gas that just won't go anywhere. I went back to the Dr. today to have a follow-up, and he wants me to go see a GI Dr. Well, trying to get into see a GI Dr. is like next to impossible for the next month. So, now I'm just uncomfortable and worrying my self sick. I've been doing really well up until tonight, I was nauseated for a while tonight and that's when the nerves really started to kick in. So far I've had half of an ativan, but that hasn't done much. I'm not in full on panic mode, but I'm really nervous. I know this is just me overreacting, but now I'm just aggravated with myself. I just keep thinking of all the scary things that it could be. In all likelyhood it's nothing major, but we always imgine the worst. I just would like some relief, so I can get comfortable and sleep.
I figured I'd come here and vent , because I know of all of you can relate to where I'm coming from. Ok. I guess I'm going to try and get settled in. Wish me luck. I'll check back in later.
Hugs to everyone!!! Chrystal



Blessings, Suz
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Thanks Jan and Suz!!! I'm still chugging along today. I did finally get to sleep this morning somewhere around 3am. I absolutely hate having insomnia!! Noah woke us up around 7am, so don't you know I felt just lovely. NOT!!! I got up and took my buspar(per usual), and added half an ativan to make sure I was going to knock out any ugliness early. DH asked me if he needed to take Noah to school this morning. I told him that I would love for him to take him, but that I probably needed to get up and try to do it(so I don't start trying to avoid things). I was sleepy from being sleepy and sleepy from the meds(not so such as to not have all my faculties to drive), but I made the 3 mile trip myself. YIPPEE!! I just told myself that I didn't need to base my whole day today on how I felt last night.
I got Noah to school and one of the other mom's in the class (that I have become really good friends with), asked me what I was doing this morning. I told her I didn't have anything planned, and told her what happened last night. She asked me if I wanted to go get something to eat and do a few errand with her, so I did. I figured I already had my anxiety meds onboard, so what the heck. It sounded way better than staying home for 3 hours by myself until time to pick the kids up from school. We had a good time when went and ate breakfast and then did a little shopping. Of course I was fine!! For me it was nice being out and engaged in something else and not worrying to much about what's going on in my head.
Lesson: You have to keep trying and not get down when the anxiety shows it's ugly face. You have to dig back in and keep re-engaging yourself. It really does help.
I haven't been to work since Saturday, so I have to re-engage back into that tomorrow. I'm planning to go and see how it goes. I'm not feeling nearly as uncomfortable as I was earlier this week, so hopefully what ever this is is subsiding. Just wish I knew what it was!! I guess patience is a virtue that I still need to learn. :-)
Thanks again for letting me vent!! Eventhough I might not be here a lot, know that I think about you guys all the time and I'm always checking in.
Hugs!! Chrystal