anxiety levels up again!
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anxiety levels up again!
| Fri, 05-20-2005 - 12:08pm |
I've been having horrible panic attacks since last evening. I couldn't even make it to chat due to the vertigo that comes with them. I took my usual dose of xanax & it didn't work, I probably should've taken a 2nd dose, thinking back. It was horrible. Since our move, my mom & dad have been here visiting in their rv. They left at 3 a.m. today, which I knew was going to be hard. I'm very close to my dad. As soon as I kissed them good-bye last night, the vertigo kicked in full-force. I could barely make it to the house, thankfully they didn't look outside & see me. I don't want to worry them when they have such a long trip ahead of them. Then, my husband hadn't found work yet, and wouldn't you know someone calls him at 6 pm and asks him to start this a.m. Not good timing. I went from a houseful of people to nobody except my 4 yo ds and it's not feeling too good today, either. I feel like this is another set back. I really want to look for a part-time job, but am still having problems with leaving the house, although it has improved somewhat since the move. Sorry so long, Danielle & Heather, how are you doing? I hought of you both this a.m. when dh left. Only for a 8 hours & I don't know how I'm going to cope! Sheri Ann

I am sorry to hear this, Sheri Ann): Sounds like you are missing your safety somewhere along the line. Do you have family or friends where you're @? I have forgotten your story & I apologize for that. For some reason, I am thinking you just recently moved. Are you military? (I have had a rotten day, for what it's worth. LOL)
I am sure that it was a bit of heaven to have your parents around. I can see where their leaving would be stressful. Dh getting a job, even @ the last minute is a positive thing. How did you manage today? What did you do to fill in your time? When I have had the anxiety, I tried to go easy on myself. Let the dust bunnies go for awhile & do something I enjoyed. Reading, listening to music, needlework, etc. Hopefully this setback is a minor one. I started out with small steps in getting out of the house. I know it takes a bit of pushing, but set yourself some goals. Even walking to the mailbox would be a realistic goal. Then, maybe to the end of the block & back. Just till you're anxious, but not panicky. Even now, if I stay in a few days, it gets all too easy to just give up on going out. I make myself leave the house & drive somewhere every day. Would dh watch ds so you could run to the store or go to the gym or library? Just an in & out trip makes you feel that you accomplished something & boosts your confidence.
That's all I've done for the last 2 days is lay in the bath tub & read a book! lol! No cleaning, no laundry, no nothing. My aunt flew in with my grandmother & took my son, so I am enjoying the break. He will be back early tonight. The xanax just doesn't seem to be doing the trick for me, all of a sudden. My husband is ex-military & my daugher is married to a Marine, stationed at a base here, that's why we chose this as our destination. It's alot cheaper than CT & I have her and my grandchildren here. I haven't driven in 5 years, so a ride is out of the question. I rarely even ride with others, no more than once a week with dh, it totally freaks me out, I feel so claustophobic in a car. I did walk to the end of the driveway to get the newspaper, which is a 1st since we got here, about 3 weeks. My son always gets it for me. May not sound like much, but I shake like you can't imagine, just leaving the front stoop. I considered it an accomplishment, but I get mad at myself for shaking. Alot of negative talk here, to myself, I could use cognitive therapy. We are without insurance & my pdoc appt isn't until the end of June. I made the appt when I was still in CT back in the beginning of April, that was the 1st opening & he is the ONLY pdoc around about 25 minutes away. I haven't met up with Heather in chat, but hope to soon!
Sheri Ann
Sheri Ann