Heather i was wondering...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2005
Heather i was wondering...
7
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 11:59pm
hello heather,you are doing so wonderful i am almost envious of you.wish i could get the nerve to take meds.i have these thoughts that meds will mess my head up and make me crazy.very strong fear of them.i also worry they will alter my mind and make me not be me or sumthin.but listening to you makes me want to give it a try.i have so much stress lately that i am just a mess.not real bad but its lingering good old anxiety...i was wondering how these meds work klonapin especially.do you think you are getting better or the meds are making you better.sry to ask that ,i just dont know, and i am scared.i can go out and do things but the anxiety is always there.i run in places, and hurry the he** back out.no matter what i am doing i am thinking about it.i just feel weird and talkin to ppl is very hard.i feel like everyone is thinking oh gosh her again, social anxiety i guess or i look dumb or am just worrying that ppl think i am strange.even though i no they are not, well i hope not lol, its just my negative thinking.i feel like that disconnected feeling has robbed my life alot of days are like that were i am so disconnected that i almost feel numb.my do. said i have panic and anxiety with angoraphobia* i think thats when ya cant leave the house.i dont have that at this point but when i have the really bad anxiety i tend to be house bound.my anxiety was woke up and took me for a ride 1 yr ago it was awful.i was in a constant panic for so many days and then it just faded.i took baby steps.it had been gone for about 4 yrs when it game back.which tells me its like a hemmroid lol and flares once in awhile.so i would like some meds when things are comin undone.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

Hi Jeanie,
I totally understand how tou feel aboout taking the meds. I was the same way, I'm sure you saw the posts. I was PETRIFIED but I was also at the point where I *HAD* to try something. At that point it really didn't matter to me what happened. At that point I felt that I had nothing to loose. I was at rock bottom and had to try something.

Are you on any meds? I take lexapro and it has been great. I was scared but I just kept telling myself that these meds are here to help us. MANY people take these types of meds and do well. I have never heard of something bad happening to someone who took an antidepressent.

The klonopin will not alter your mind... all it does is relax you. Start with a small dose, I take 1/2 of a .5 pill. It had made SUCH a difference for me. i didn't feel drugged at all.

Am I just getting better or are the meds making me better?
Honestly I think its a bit of both.
The fear for me was taking over, I HATED the unreal feeling and I was so scared that I would stay at that way.
I have 2 little Boys who need their Mom and I am determind to get myself better.
I believe that the klonopin has helped to take the fear away and allow myself to get better. I don't think I'd be doing nearly as well without the meds.

Thats not to say that I don't have bad day. Last night I started to get a bit anxious and I was scared. I was successful in talking myself down but I woke up this morning and I am fighting it still today. Yes, I am VERY scared but I am trying to stay calm and telling myslef that even if I do get anxious that it will be ok and I will make it through. Easier said then done though...
I will try to stay busy for the day and hope that tomorrow is better.

It really sounds to me like you have nothing to lose at this point, you sound do unhappy. At this point you should try anything just to get your life back...

I also wonder if you have any family or support? Do you see a p/tdoc on a regular basis?

If you do decide to take the meds I will meet you in chat and talk to you for as long as you need. Let us help you here!

((HUGS))
Heather




Edited 5/22/2005 10:40 am ET ET by hmeshow
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2005
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 12:14pm
Heather,you are so helpful everyone here is so great.Not being alone in this really helps.thank you for all the info.no i dont really have anyone to talk to.my mom always acts like her prbs out do mine and makes me feel guilty for even trying to discuss this with her, she so totally does not understand.lol i was telling jan i am no typist she cracked me up by calling it a hunt and pecker.i dont no what p/doc stands for.help me out here.i can say i only see my regular doc.for all of this.when i was in councling all they did was make things worse digging into my childhood ,which was very bad.i want to focus on today and leave that behind me.my childhood was very sad.anyway,i have dibiletating* migraines sooo bad which i take xcert when i have one.when my anxiety came back a year ago i had,had a string of migraines which i couldnt get out of bed.depression started so my doc put me on zoloft.i had taken 1 pill and started to worry omg i called the pharmacy to see if it was ok to mix anti.with xcert.they said ,well be careful it can cause serotinen syndrome.thats all i needed to here and the panic was on.i paced the floor sat in a corner i was a mess.i went to the hospital.they gave me a shot of ativan which knocked me out.i thought the meds gave me a stroke.to this day migranes give me panic attacks.i lose my vision with them which is scary.so to all, if ya no any info on this please help me out.i want to try meds but can they make my migraines worse or give me seratonin syndrome if i need to take my migrane pills.heather thats a good idea to be in chat when i take my meds. i will take that offer and let you no when i am ready.but i need some info 1st.thank you soooooo much

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 12:34pm

pdoc is psychiatrist and tdoc is therapist...

Maybe you could look back in the archives here and on the antidepressent board, get some info that way.

I believe it was Jan who told me to trust my Dr. and not to even read the insert that comes with the prescription. I have taken her advice on that...

I think that we can be our own worst enemy. We want all the info but then we worry so much about what we think could happen.

I would suggest that you go to your Dr. or a psychaistrist (they mainly only deal with the meds issue) and really talk about this. Maybe ask for lexapro and klonpin, you know that I am doing great as well as many other people are. That may help you feel a bit more comfortable. Just talk to your Dr. about what migrane meds would be ok to take with you particular combination of meds. Then just trust your Dr... that is key.

It is a vicious cycle, you get some some sort of body feeling unrelated to anxiety and automatically that brings up the anxiety.

I am working every hard and not being scared and not letting the fear take over. I am having a bad day today but I am doing my best to keep myself calm.

Maybe you could see a therapist and not discuss your childhood, just talk about ways to cope with your anxiety. It certinally can't hurt to try.

At this point you need to fight for your life, DON'T let this overtake you. Only you can help yourself... try to tell yourself that.

My therapist has me write in a journal every day. I write at least one thing good that happened that day. Maybe you should try that.

Feel free to email me anytime...

((HUGS))
Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 5:25pm

Hi, Jeanie! I just wanted to pop in here & assure you that your fear of meds is something I can relate too. I have had to battle the scary thoughts of side effects & reactions that *might* happen for years. This serotonin syndrome is real but VERY rare. Try to keep that in perspective. When you asked the pharmacist about the zoloft & your migraine medicine, they HAVE to tell you all the possibilities. It just sends folks like us into a tailspin. ITA with Heather that accepting your doctor's judgement is the best idea. He wouldn't have ordered your med if he thought it would be dangerous.


As for migraines, Suz, our co-cl is knowlegeable about them & when she gets here will give you some thoughts. Also, anyone reading this, please give Jeanie some support if you experience migraines. TIA


Therapy, counseling, whatever you call it can be very helpful. I would try again, Jeanie. One size therapist does NOT fit all. You are allowed to say right upfront that you want to work on current problems & how to cope. Not examining your past is your right. There are different schools of thought on this matter among therapists. Some say the past is important. Others do not. There are plenty of differing

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2005
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 7:19pm
Hello,thank you jan for the info..counceling was very helpful in helping me understand why i felt some of the ways i was feeling and how certain things associated with childhood made me feel the way i do today.It was so hard to take it all in cuz i was always in a panic.I wanted copeing skills and they kept going back to the past.i did eventually find someone who was very helpful.i learned to relax and everything they were telling me started to make more sence.when i go back i just dont want to go threw that again...yea jan hunt& peckers,thats so funny.i really suck at hunt&peckers.half the SHORT words on here i dont even no what they mean.lol.What the heck is HTH.go ahead and laugh ha ha...i dont think your rude horning in i could use any advice you guys have lol even with ur short words.thank you

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 8:11pm
Hi Chatsalot! and WELCOME! I am sorry you have panic and anxiety! I do also!
I take Paxil and xanax for me it is very helpful!
HTH= hope this helps So many little three letter words to figure out LOL
I hope that you feel comfortable with your medical doctor and
talk to him about how you are feeling- He can prescribe the meds
you need to help you so that you can help yourself deal with anxiety!!
The medicine is there to help you I was scared and finally like Heather
said I have to do something!! So I tried the meds and within a month
I was able to start working through my fears--- I was agoraphobic I could
not leave the house- it was terrible!! I am now doing really well
have been on meds for over 10 years sooooo if there were any problems I
would have them by now! LOL
I do get ocular migranes and do not take anything for them-
I hope that you can call your doc and get some help for yourself soon!!
Life is waiting for ya!! Take care, Judy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:37pm

"I hope you guys don't think I'm being rude horning in on your conversation."

Don't ever say anything like that again..LOL
You are the best!!!!

Heather