Can't stop crying today...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2001
Can't stop crying today...
5
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 11:07am

Hi All,


I have been doing so well lately. I had a great 3 day weekend.


Yesterday I was having a good day.


(ok this is a bit graphic)


My son Ryan had to poop and he started screaming as he did. I looked and he was bleeding.. (part of what started this with me was rectal bleeding with me)


I was so scared for him, I called the Dr and he has a hemmorid. They are pretty concerned and I have a long list of things that I have to do for the little guy.


About 2 hours or so later we were out grocery shopping and getting the things I needed for Ryan and I started to get the unreal feeling. Dh said that Ryan just triggered it and it was close to taking my lexapro again.


I got home and was just putting things away and I got so dizzy and disorientated. I told dh that I was going to rest.


Later that night I put the little ones to bed and was doing ok, Dh got a major migraine and went to bed at 8:30. I went to chat and that helped but today I am on edge.


I also got my period today and I know from last month that it will throw me off. I just can't stop crying.


I guess what I really don't like is the unreal feeling. I am trying to keep busy.


I also have weird thoughts about the world, I question why we're all here and things like that. Its almost scary sometimes. I never did that before. Does anyone else do that?


I see my pdoc and tdoc today so I am hopeful about that..


Edit-- to add that I hate the month of June. My Father died June 24 and its also fathers day this month,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 2:05pm

Heather,
I hope things are going a little better for you by now after you've seen your tdoc, sometimes it helps just to talk about these things out loud.
Im sorry to hear about your father's passing away, you're not a bad person for having an argument with him. He still knew you loved him and that's all that matters.
From the support and advice that you provide to others on this board you strike me as a compassionate and beautiful individual, and I hope things get better for you. let yourself cry one day and get your frustrations out, there's a lot going on in your life right now. good luck with the little one, I hope he feels better soon.

stay positive

Mia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 2:13pm
A bad day, Heather & something that rattles us a bit. But, you have been doing very well. Try to see this as a temporary matter. Our cycles can really screw things up. Don't place the blame on yourself. In fact, try
 

 


 



Avatar for cassia7
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:16am

Hi Heather,

I can totally relate to what happened to you when your dad died. Long story short, my dad was in detox for alcoholism and we had a fight during the weekend that he was allowed home. My dad ended up committing suicide and I never got the chance to say I was sorry to him. So hun, I know exactly how you feel, and it's not a good feeling at all. My died died 19 years ago, when I was 15 years old and it has taken me this long to come to terms with it.....please, don't wait as long as I did to go talk to someone about it! I think a lot of my issues stem from keeping that bottled up inside.

Take care, and I am always checking into the posts daily if you ever need to talk :)

~ Cassia

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 10:08am

Heather,

(((((hugs)))))

Aww, that's awful, but just remember, your Dad knows now how you felt, and that you weren't angry anymore. But that doesn't help your nerves, I'm sure. How about if you write your Dad a letter, and tuck it away. For me, sometimes, getting it out by talking or writing it, helps the anxiety.

Keep up posted on your son and yourself.

Renee

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 11:41pm
Heather, I hope you have stopped crying by now!!
I am so sorry about you feeling so bad!
You are doing so much better keep reminding yourself
of that! Kiss that sweet baby boy for me!! Poor little guy!
I missed you in chat tonight hope you are feeling
better now. The unreal feeling should subside after you
relax awhile! It is your body telling you--- too much!!
Take care, Judy