Trouble with dh because of my issues...
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Trouble with dh because of my issues...
| Mon, 06-06-2005 - 9:18pm |
Hi gang, I just have been going thru a rough patch, and have been really down. Plus,hubby and I are not getting along, and I know alot of it is because of my depression and agoraphobia, plus for some reason I have been really dizzy the last week or so...I can understand his frustration with me totally, but he has been a little hard on me, which is making me even more down...My question to you guys, is have you gone thru this? And what steps did you take to make the relationship better? And can you ask your partner how they dealt with their feeling towards you, to help improve the relationship?
I know I have to feel better myself, before I can do much for him, or at least that is my thinking...Do you guys have any input? Thanx! I hope this day finds you all well.
hugs, shasta
I know I have to feel better myself, before I can do much for him, or at least that is my thinking...Do you guys have any input? Thanx! I hope this day finds you all well.
hugs, shasta

I have allergies and when they are bad I get dizzy.
I don't like this feeling very well!! I also notice
I have more anxiety when dizzy or vice versa who knows
what comes first---
About your husband if he never had anxiety or knew anyone
with it he has nothing to compare your behavior with.
My husband was very supportive and went to the doctor with me.
The doctor explained what to expect and I was so glad he did!!
I felt depressed also wondering how long I would be stuck in
my house hating every minute of the day and waiting for the
panic! I still have to remind him of when I am feeling anxiety
like now for example!! He did not realize that the death of my
neice would bring on the anxiety and fear!! OH MY!!
You have to tell them!! They just don't get it otherwise LOL
Take care and I hope this helped a little- =0) Judy
I feel for you, Shasta. I will say that my ex NEVER understood. I was on my own when I panicked. He may have even had the idea that my illness was some sort of weakness. That was a feeling I had though he never actually said it.
I read your post a while back that you have been with your dh for was it 8 or 9 years? I am sure that there have been lots of positives & lots of good times you can hold on to. Just to get you through this temporary spell. Is dh under added stress? He has valid feelings too. It is possible that life's more than he can handle @ this time & he just can't hold up his end & give you the support you need right now. Lean on us. I will say a prayer for you & leave the good relationship advice to others. I am pretty inept @ it. Good luck! (((hugs))) jan
I know this rough patch for us will pass, He really is a good guy. It's just hard when I am already down, and then to have this added to it...I know it is up to me to make myself happy...But I don't expect someone else to make me unhappy either!
Thanx for reminding me that he is under alot of stress, and I know I am not helping by having all my 'issues'. We have a 14 year age difference between us, so I am sure that does not always work to our advantage...He just turned 50 this year, and I think that was quite hard for him, because he has outlived his mom, and I know that bothers him much. She died at 47 from ovarian cancer,and her birthdate was recently...So he hasn't had the greatest few months either...
Honestly he is a good guy! I just think the stress of owning his own biz, and dealing with me, has made him very tired! I swear, I worry I am putting him into an early grave,which hurts my heart so much. That is why I want to get well, and get to a point where I can go back to work! I would love for him to be able to relax.
Wow! I ended up writing a book. Thanx so much for your support, and for listening,Jan.
hugs, shasta
p.s. I do understand your feelings towards your ex-
Some people don't understand at all or know how to support us.I too believe some see our illness as a sign of weakness or even laziness, I get that feeling from some not all) of my family...The way we feel, is a horrible feeling, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone...
I guess that is why we have each other here at the board ;0)
I will say, I can understand how others that don't have our troubles 'don't understand' I don't even understand 'me' myself! LOL! ;0)
Have a great day, Jan!
Hi Shasta,
I am late getting in on this.
Of course you got some great advice here!
I really have nothing to add but to give you some GREAT BIG HUGS!!!!!!!
Hey you ...
Yes, I dealt with that as recently as yesterday! My attitude hasn't made my husband very happy. I reevaluated what I was doing, although a lot of it is the pregnancy, and we talked about it. I felt pretty bad about it. I guess my advice would be to communicate, and remind yourself of how far you've come. It won't help to shoot yourself down. You know that. Remember that even though our husbands are supportive, they have their moments, too. I thought about it, and I get frustrated with my husband, so I can see how he'd get frustrated with me ... although I get a little slack with the pregnancy and everything. Everyone is human.
I hope by now things have smoothed out a bit. I'll write you an e-mail soon, OK? Take care, and many hugs to ya. :D
Sorry you're down... As a dh myself, I can only say that he might think he is trying to help fix things by being a motivational speaker of sorts. I agree it can be frustrating for both, though.
I think a nice hug can help! With your dh, of course!
-Rob
*Sorry to ask, but as a Yankees fan does dh mean designated hitter? ;)