Panic attacks Here?!!
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| Sun, 06-12-2005 - 11:25pm |
This is going to be hard for me to do, I hardly ever share the extent of my problems with panic in this detail, but I'm feeling crazy.
Okay, I have been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks on and off for about 8 years. Where the panic and anxiety has attacked me in my life is the most distessing thing. It has done alot of things like convinced me I had aids, dozens of stds, cancer, and that I was pregnant 3 times (even though I've never had intercourse). All of that I can deal with, what is difficult to deal with is the fact that it has somehow gotten mixed up and all tangled with the most important thing to me: my faith. I am a Christian, and my first full blown panic attack happened to me while I was praying, and you can imagine what that did to me! I was petrified to pray again, go to church, seek the most important One in my life: God. On and off over the years, there have been times of joy in my faith, and times of panic attacks. It leaves me feeling so strange, dazed, and confused. I question why God won't just heal me, but I still know He is a good God, no matter what and that noone's life is easy.
Anyway, does this sound crazy to any of you? Similar? Sometimes when I pray, the anxious feeling begins to drop on me. Sometimes when I'm singing praises which is one of the most joyful times for me, the panic attacks drop on me!
I feel so disabled. For some reason a place of peace in my mind has become a place of fear and panic and this makes no logical sense to me. I have seen so many miricles. I have seen and even experienced healing in my life, but not for this? I'm just at a loss for words. Hoping and waiting for a time I will be COMPLETELY free in heaven, but must this world be a living hell? My mind feels like a prison.
Thanks, I'd be thankful for any words, and you don't have to be a Christian to know where I'm coming from I think. I guess this problem can attack us where we feel the safest.
-LernersPetite

Thats funny because I know EXACTLY how you feel. Sometimes when I pray, I feel very unreal, and one time it lead to the worst panic attack I had ever had. I was feeling rather anxious one night, and so I began to pray, and BAM! Panic attack! I feel like I am a bad person, or someting is wrong, because wouldn't you think that the peace of God would help get rid of anxiety? Anyway, I was full out hyperventilating, felt like I was leaving my body, was convinced that I was dying, so my mom began to read me some Psalms, and i had to make her stop because I felt worse. What is the deal? i don't understand it either but I know what your going through.
I also have been convinced of pregnancy or other STDs which I think lead to some panic attacks. There have been times where I have spent hours online researching 'freak ways' to still be pregnant and yet still have your period (you should see all my posts on the 'Are you Pregnant?' messageboards on here. Anyways, the doctor told me that these thoughts are on because of obsessive compulsive disorder that leads to anxiety and panic attacks.
I know I didn't help much, but I know exactly where you are coming from and how you feel. Fill me in if you find anything that helps-and Ill be sure to do the same. Best of luck and God bless!
Hi! Nice to have you back. You are NOT crazy. From my own personal experience, whenever a panic attack strikes, we tend to avoid that situation like the plague.
Oh my goodness, thank you so much, no! You did help me so much and after 8 years of feeling like I was the only one who experienced such a thing, just to know that there is someone out there that sort of knows what I have gone through makes me feel so much better!
If there's one thing that I have tried to hold onto through out these ordeals of having panic attacks while praying or at church is this: THAT OUR EMOTIONS DO NOT UNDO THE FACT THAT GOD IS EVERPRESENT, EVERLOVING, AND EVERWITH US. No panic, no power, no "freaking out" will ever change the fact that God has already made me a place in heaven, and that keeps me going, even when it hurts to.
Its so funny that you say that, I too, have also spent hours researching online of the almost impossible instances that someone could become pregnant without actually having intercourse, and convinced myself I was and even got a pregnancy test for goodness sakes, all this being a virgin. I also have a bunch of old messages on the "Are you Pregnant" board, trying and hoping for someone to convince me I was alright when the anxiety and obsessions wouldn't let me stop worrying. lol.
You will be in my prayers. Sometimes its hard to pray when you don't "FEEL" God's presence, but I know that doesn't mean that He isn't there, and for some reason I just feel that He is blessed by our efforts to seek Him when He doesn't seem close cause that takes BIG faith and BIG courage to believe in Something that feels like its not there sometimes. Its easy to follow God when things are dandy and it feels aparent that He's by your side. What about when things aren't dandy, should we give up then! NO!
Thanks you,
LernersPetite
Thank you so much, I have known for years that I have been suffering from panic attacks, and have had some times of being free from them for intervals (Thank God). I guess we all need a little reassuring sometimes when the rough times arrive, and you are right about everything you said. Thank you for reminding me, and I will jump in the discussions during these times of trouble and hopefully we can all help each other out for good.
-LernersPetite
Yes thank you! Sometimes I forget that I am a recovered claustrophobic.. lol. I get in and out of elevators like it is NOTHING, and oh I remember the fear that even hearing a bell ring of an elevator back in the day. I also used to be phobic of thunderstorms. That's over. I used to cry every day when I was younger scared my mother wouldn't come home from work. I'm over all these things, but the fear has attacked me in different areas but that doesn't mean I'm not still equipped to beat the fear! Thanks for reminding me.
-LernersPetite