i hate this
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| Sat, 06-18-2005 - 3:25pm |
I am a chronic worrier--always have been and probably always will be. I don't know how to stop myself from worrying about things and it's making my relationship suffer. My boyfriend and I just had our one year anniversary yesterday and the night before he fell asleep and didn't call me. Of course I freaked out and thought he's going to break up with me again (we broke up about a month ago for a week, but he came back and said he wanted to get back together). The morning of our anniversary he called me to say goodmorning adn I was just bawling because of the night before and I asked him why he's acting strange and why our anniversary isn't as important to me as it is to him.
We work for the same company and had a meeting yesterday evening and I was upset at work too, so he took me outside and we talked about stuff. He told me he hates how I am so negatively affected by things so small as him not calling to say goodnight one time and that just because he doesn't jump up and down and call all my friends to say it's our one year anniversary doesn't mean it's any less important to him as it is to me. He told me that our relationship just isn't as much fun as it used to be because he feels like he's always walking on eggshells since he never knows when I'm going to freak out about something.
I know that I MUST stop crowding him and stop assuming that bad things are going on just because he misses calling me one night or says he can't hangout for a day or two because he's so busy with work and he's taking summer classes, but I don't know how to keep my worries at bay in order to do this. I love him very much and want our relationship to work, and I know he does too, but unless I can stop with the chronic worrying about something bad happening in our relationship I know I will lose him.
Maybe I could just post here whenever I'm worring about something and you guys can tell me I'm being crazy or something...I need people who will do that...because most of the time my worries really are irrational and as much as I expect the worst possible scenario to happen, it almost never does.
Does anyone have any sugguestions? I'm on meds and I'm seeing a counselor too....

I understand completely where you are coming from. I use to worry constantly about the same types of things you mentioned. My fears were always irrational. I'm sure I drove alot of bf's away. I think for me it was just growing up so insecure. Trust is something people have to earn, and it is difficult for us to give. Please come back anytime, we're hear to listen! You're not alone.
Sheri Ann
Sheri Ann
I am sorry to hear this. Of course you can post @ anytime with worries or concerns. That's what we're here for. However, don't count on any of us telling you that you're crazy! We all need to hear that we aren't. LOL
You seem to be doing the right things. Meds & counseling have shown to be the most effective way to combat the anxiety. Most of us will admit to being born worriers. That is something we must take charge of. Putting our irrational fears into perspective may be difficult, but it CAN be done. You alone hold that power. Have you tried yoga? Meditation? Plain old good diet, plenty of exercise & a good night's sleep may sound too simple, but they're all essential in keeping ourselves in good balance. Have you asked your counselor about relaxation techniques or other ways to cope?
I wish you luck in your quest to a good life & good relationship. You deserve the very best. Read the back posts to get some ideas that may work for you & drop into chat. Sending P&PT's your way! (((hugs))) jan
Yes I worry about my husband of 35 years--- can you
believe it?? I worried all the time if he was 5 minutes late!
Telling him my worries seemed to back him off so I stopped
telling him all my worries- if I did we would have no time
to talk about anything else LOL!!
It is hard but in time you will learn to trust your choices
and him! It takes time! By 35 years you won't worry quite as much!
Take care and post your worries WE DO! Take care, Judy