I just can't do this anymore...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2005
I just can't do this anymore...
2
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 3:56pm

Living with this anxiety has become almost unbearable...I am so mad at myself for feeling like this...It is ruining my image of myself and I'm starting to think it's affecting other parts of my life too...I can't focus at work, I don't enjoy spending time with my friends anymore, and it's starting to make me question my relationship with my boyfriend, who is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I'm embarrassed to talk to other people about it, as I think it is really difficult for people without anxiety to understand what it is like - that it's not our fault for getting so upset about things that may not bother the average person. My parents don't understand - I find myself feeling so alone in this situation. Like there are constantly people around me, but I am still by myself. I haven't had enough courage to try to explain the situation to my boyfriend...and that's my biggest problem now.

I love him so very much. I have been so down recently and so anxious that I haven't been able to find comfort in anything. With so many thoughts running through my mind, I can't tell the difference between reality and the "lies" that the anxiety is telling me. I don't enjoy spending time with him anymore as the worries, nervousness, and sadness don't go away. In the past, when I was with him, everything seemed better. Now, the anxiety has taken over and I associate everything with being unhappy. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this right. I don't want to doubt our relationship - I know how miserable I would be without him. But somewhere these thoughts of feeling "different about him" got planted into my head and the anxiety has made it go crazy. I have had absolutely no sex drive. But then again, how can somebody else make me happy when I'm not happy with myself? I can't let this sadness and difficult times ruin my relationship. I love him so much - I know it is impossible that my feelings for him have changed. It's the anxiety.

I haven't been able to calm down today...I woke up anxious and it has been hell ever since. I just want to be normal...like I feel I used to be. I take Celexa every night and feel like it should be helping by now. I took a Xanex earlier today and, although it relaxed my body, I feel like jello and the sadness hasn't left me. I don't want to be dependent on medication. I just want this to go away and to help myself get better. I want to feel like my old self again. I can't live like this forever.

I don't know where to start. Please help me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 6:15pm

I am sorry to hear that things are so rough. You have posted before asking what techniques we use to help us through the anxious times. I have used meditation, belly breathing & positive thoughts with success. Also, keeping busy is a great help. When your thoughts focus on what you have described here, then you need to refocus on those positives. It's essential to keep those lines of communication towards friends, family & your therapist open. You haven't been on meds very long, according to your former post.

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2005
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 8:14pm
Hi. I was wondering if anyone else here was taking Celexa for anxiety. Keep trying different things if Celexa doesn't work. What other things have you tried? Anxiety does have a way of making it hard to enjoy life. Do not despair. You will not feel like this forever. Please try meditation and acupuncture. They really help me. I take Zoloft and it works great for me. I really don't think about being dependent on medication. If it helps me to enjoy my life, I feel grateful there is something that helps. Keep us posted. M