Some help
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| Fri, 07-01-2005 - 7:47pm |
So long story short.....about 6 weeks ago i had my fisrt attack. I was convinced I was having a heart attack. I am sure most of you have been there. I called 911 thinking I was going to die before I hit 30. I was given an EKG and told it was anxiety. Went to my Dr. the next day and he told me that it is genetic and if I had another one I was to come back and he was going to "give me something". I was CONVINCED it was a medical problem.
I went to a chiropractor who told me that it was my cortisol levels and not psychological and when I got that under control i would be cured.
Two more urgent care visits and a few more EKG's later I was told by one doc I had acid reflux. Another doc said that it was anxiety and I should see a woman doctor who would be more compassionate toward my "situation" I was then diagnosed with cosocondritis (sp?) which is an inflamation right at the ribs and sternum. Although no one knows how you get it but one doc thought it was from the frequent panic attacks that just wore me out.
I started seeing a therapist which did not work out because she wanted to discuss my childhood-she never focused on the fact that a close relative just passed, I started my own business, I am a newleywed and we are trying to buy a new house.
I have then found another therapist and I will see a psychologist for the fisrt time this week.
I have also found an excellent doctor who ran a full panel blood test along with an exam just to make sure. And told me I am in great health.
I was so scared that there was SOMETHING wrong with me and it was not mental. I am slowly believing the doctors that it is mental.
What I want to say with this LONG letter is ask if there is ANY advice or calming methods that will help. I am doing deep preathing, yoga and trying meditation. But any suggestions will help. I also have Ativan for those times when I spin out of control. But I am terrified of taking something everyday because I want to get pregnant in the next year and I have been told there is nothing to take for anxiety when you are pregnant. Any suggestions would be great.

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but we are a very caring group!! You have a lot going on that is for
sure!! You should find time to relax each day and do your yoga and breathing
exercises they will help. Panic attacks are very scary and I also
went to hospital several times with it thinking I was a goner---
that was 10 years ago and here I am going strong!!
A combination of medication and therapy and my hard work got me
my life back! I am doing really well now so there is hope!!
Take things slowly one at a time and come to our chats!!
I hope you don't mind the nickname lol!! Welcome and be good to yourself!
Judy
Calibrunette, I think you're on the right track with the yoga and the breathing exercises. It's important to slow down and take heart in what you can control. I want to comment on your belief that there is nothing you can take during pregnancy for anxiety. That is not true. I know this because I do have the option of being on something at the moment. I am 19 weeks pregnant with my first child. I chose not to take meds and see what happens. In its place, I exercise and see a therapist every other week or so. So far, so good. I've had the option of taking Zoloft during pregnancy. The idea is to weigh the risks against the benefits, because if Mamma isn't healthy, how can the baby be?
The thing about pregnancy--and everyone is different, and this is what a doctor told me--is that in some people, the hormones start to produce a sense of calm. In others, it makes them more anxious. Sometimes I get the anxiety part, but I think I'm doing a lot better than I thought I would off meds.
Now, you're concerned about taking something every day because you want to get pregnant in the next year. Are you trying now? I was on Zoloft and Xanax from August through October. I chose to be off meds for three months before trying to conceive. The timeframe varies (took me a month to wean off Xanax), but I had foot surgery in December, so that was part of the reason, too. That said, I was on painkillers the month before we started trying.
I guess with all of this, I'm trying to say that it's smart to think ahead, but try not to think like the drug stays in your system a long time after you go off it. If you need something, you need something. I know this may not be your situation, but I knew I needed something when I was asking God not to let me wake up in the morning because I was terrified of moving. When I couldn't stop crying or even pack boxes, I knew I needed the help. I applaud you for keeping on with the therapy and not giving up because of one bad experience. I myself prefer psychologists as opposed to MCSWs or LCSWs (social workers). It sounds like cognitive therapy might be your cup of tea.
Anyway, that's my two cents. I have pregnant brain, and I'm exhausted (just swam 10 laps!) so my thoughts might not come out so cohesively. I wish you the best, and please come back and share with us again.
Best to you,
Kendra :)
Thanks for the info. I do the breathing and try really hard not to get frustrated when I feel an attack coming on and have to take an Ativan. But they are getting fewer and farther in between. For the frst month I just wanted to cry (and did) because I was so frustrated. i was such a normal person. But now I realize that a lot of normal people are in the same boat at me. It helps to talk or write about it. I am still feeling like anything that is nor "normal" with my body. Even if it is a little pain in my leg is something far more serious than just a pain but I think with a little help and some time I will get over that. We will see. But for now I just cope day to day. And if it gets worse and I have to take something daily I will accept it. Although it is not my first choice it is something that I may have to do.
But just knowing that there are people like me out there is a huge help.
When you have time, read the back posts or try the *what's new on health* folder below. There are some tips & tricks that may help. For now it seems that you have all bases covered. It will take sometime to get your balance back. Remember to think positively when the scary medical fears pop in your mind. Keep busy, both physically & mentally to divert your thoughts.
Bookmark us to your favorites. There's alot of kind & caring folks here, ready to support you. Post anytime. As Judy said, join us in chat. We care & want you to feel better. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan
Hey there! I am sorry you are going through this... I am relatively new to the wonderful world of panic attacks as well.
My first bit of advice to you would be to go on a long term anti anxiety drug, like prozac, lexapro, paxil, etc. But since you are planning on getting pregnant, that can't work.
But when i feel the panic attack coming on, its gotten to the point where I am so frusturated with it, that I pop a xanax, and basically tell myself to shut up and that I am fine. I too have been to ER many times, and been checked out (healthy as a horse.) I would definetly recommend xanax over ativan because it is more powerful, and is longer lasting.
When you feel an attack coming on, I would first run for the xanax or ativan, take it, sit down close your eyes and in your head say "SHUT UP! IM FINE! IM NOT DYING, THIS IS SO STUPID." YEah, I know, it sounds psychotic and weird, but it works. I think you will get frusterated enough with panic attacks that you might have ended up trying that eventually anyways.
If you are religious, try a little prayer.
Maybe do some belly breathing, watch your belly rise and fall. Try holding your breath in for 4 seconds and then breathing it out slowly for 4 seconds.
Ive heard of people throwing water in their face and it kind of snaps them out of it.
Sorry if these techniques sound useless, but they seem to work for me and other people. Best of luck with your anxiety and with your trying to concieve. Try out these things and keep me posted and tell me if any of them work!
Dr. Andrew Weil has an awesome CD all about breathing techniques. The one you mentioned is on there. I do them at night and in the AM. I also try to meditate or at least some form of it. Those things help but I am not cured.
I had one the other day walkling into Costco. The air was really hot so of course instead of thinking it is a blistering summer day I am thinking that there is something wrong with me and I freak out. I do tell myself this is stupid but sometimes the medicine needs to be there. But last night I woke up and had to use the bathroom and of course I had anohter one. So I took a quarter of an Ativan and told myself again how stupid this is and let myself be knocked out.
I will ask about Xanex. My Ativan does wear off quickly. But I am almost wondering if I could take a "long term" one for a few months until the time when we think about getting pregnant. I don't think at this point we will start even trying until the end of the year.
I don't know it is so jus frustrating to be like this. I just want to wake up and be my old self.
I will try the water trick. Who knows that might work for me. And as for prayer I have been doing that.
Well hopefully at some point I will get some peace.
hey,
as strange as it is, its been a year since my anxiety attack, my first big one. it was so terrifying, and all i wanted to do was call 911, but i knew it was in my mind and i had to learn to control it. at first it was really bad, and i had no clue how to prevent or distract my mind from attacks. a while later i went on lexapro first, which did nothing and in addition made it so when school started, i couldnt wake up and fell asleep through every one of my classes. taking ativan helped, cuz i learned that all i needed to do was focus my mind, and that it would help get me out of a panic attack. my attacks basically involved me panicing that i wasnt breathing right or enough, and that something would happen to me while i slept. mostly this happened around nighttime, right when i'd go to sleep.
in addition to going on the lexapro (which i really didnt like, but the doctor recommended it and i havent touched anti-depressant or anxiety meds since) i saw a therapist. he helped me by explaining to me that many people go through this and also, that i needed to trust my body. my body didnt want me to die, and wouldnt let me. he told me that people try to commit suicide by not breathing, and all that happens is that they pass out, and their body takes over.
i still have the card he gave me, explaining these things. he gave me the idea of contour drawing with my eyes, of finding some object and just follow the lines of that object, not thinking of anything else. also, through the many nights, i came up with some of my own methods.
lol the first is cheesy, but i think about the future and my wedding. my bf and i have been together for almost 3 years now, and plan on getting married within the next few years. i love picturing my wedding dress, marrying him, and the party afterward. in case that isnt working, i get into the details, what i want my sisters to wear, who i think his best man will be. i know this probably sounds really bad, and that i'm pathetic, but that's what works for me. normally i dont even stay on this topic long before my mind remembers something else, but im not concentrating on my breathing anymore.
the second thing i'd do is a name game type of thing. for some reason my entire life i've been interested in names and was trying to think of different names i liked. for every letter of the alphabet i had to come up with at least 10 different names. other times, i'd go down the alphabet, saying the name of the letter, it's sound and a name (i used to be an elementary ed major, and this was something i saw in a kindergarten class).
things like this could be useful tho, just as ways to distract yourself. try to name 10 countries that start with a, or every state in the us. maybe try to name all the presidents in order. my therapist gave me the idea also to try counting backwards, not by normal numbers, but by 7's or something like that. maybe even try to remember your schedule every year in high school or college. if none of these is an option, spider solitaire almost always works for me. the game is so addictive and i just get sucked into it!
best of luck tho! you are not alone in this! if you need anyone to talk to or anything, my aim name is RebeliousStar and my email is aquamrin16@aol.com.
Liz
Thanks for your help. Yes you hit the nail on the head with the sleeping thing. I to sometimes think I am going to explode from the inside out when I am sleeping and my husband is going to wake up to his dead wife. And I know deep down in my head (the small part that is still rational) that if I was going to die I would have probally a greater chance duiring the day when I was active.
So now I do my breathing and then I picture myself on a beach with pure white sand and a little beach house behind me. I just got back from vacation so it is easy for me to do that and I fall asleep.
And if I have a bad dream in the middle of the night and wake up. I try to do the same thing to fall back asleep. And last night was the first time since this mess started that I had a bad dream woke up and calmed myself down enough by myself that I did not need medication.
My only concern is that there are just days when I don't feel right. I just hope with therapy I can overcome this with out a daily medicine. But like I have said before if that is what I need to get through this then so be it.
Thanks for your advice and thanks for making me feel like I am not alone. I am most grateful for this message board because if anything it makes me feel not alone.
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I was also diagnosed with the same thing. Thought for sure I was having a heart attack. I don't know how to spell it either. This has been some time ago. Taking ibuprofen which brings down the inflammation will help with that part. The panic/anxiety I am still dealing with and trying to find the right medication. Sorry, I can't help you there. I just thought I'd post because you are the only other person I have every heard of being diagnosed with cosocondritis (sp?).
Alison
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