Tried Something New - Need Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Tried Something New - Need Advice
2
Tue, 07-05-2005 - 10:13am

Hello. I have not posted in a while. I have been doing pretty well with my anxiety. I have the type that happens for no reason. I do not have social anxiety much at all. I need some advice now though.

I have always wanted to try martial arts style kick boxing. Well, ever since January this year I have been thinking about it more seriously and looking at different schools. I finally contacted 3 of them and chose one. Then I got very nervous. I got an email from the owner/instructor who said he would love to meet with me one on one the next night. I worried about every possible thing that could go wrong. I am not normally that bad about this kind of thing. I worried about walking in the door and not knowing where to go, who to ask for (even though I knew his name), what other people in there would think of me, etc. I worried myself sick. On the way there I could hardly calm down. I was excited too but mostly a nervous mess. I got there and he took me back to a private room and worked with me for an hour (usually it is only 30 mins the first time) and said I was doing great, that I had tons of power and strength, and great form and that he thought I was already ready to join the other students the next night (normally you have 5 private lessons first)! He was very complimentary of my fitness level (I exercise a lot and take it very seriously) and even commented that he was glad to see a strong woman and that he was looking for a new female student to train for state champ and thought I could eventually do it because of my discipline (which made me feel great). I think he was very sincere and really meant all that he said and taking the extra time with me for that private lesson made me feel that even more so. I do not think he was just trying to sell me on it. So, I left there feeling great. I was so excited.

Then wouldn't you know that I woke the next morning all worried about attending the first group session that night. I mean I worried all day about how I would do, what others would think, did he really think I had that much potential, did the night before really even happen, etc. On the way to class that night I was a mess again. I got there and ended up doing really well and did not majorly mess up. I worked with the instructor which was great and then 2 other students, one who was a guy that was not thrilled about pairing up with a newbie like me, but I think I did ok and tried not to let him get to me. So, I left there feeling good, had gotten some compliments and all. So, that was last Thursday. I decided to commit to 3 months. I felt good about the choice and paid the fees.

Friday my husband and I went out and got blocker pads and gloves for him so I could practice at home with him. Saturday morning we practiced and my husband thought I did great (his dad used to teach martial arts so he has some experience with it). So, we practiced again last night and I even got some moves down that I could not get quite right before. But, wouldn't you know, I started worrying myself sick again last night and today because I have class tonight. I don't understand this. I am already worried that I am going to go tonight and make a fool of myself or make someone unhappy who has to be paired up with me (I am still learning how to hold the blockers just right when the other person is hitting). I really want to enjoy this and stop worrying about it but I am not getting too far. I keep telling myself that I started aerobics 2 years ago as a newbie and now I go there on Mon/Wed and am one of the regulars that knows all the moves but did not start out that way. However, the difference this time is that I have to work with others directly and I feel like I am impacting them badly. When we do things alone in kickboxing (like aerobics) I am fine because I only affect me. If the teacher corrects me, I am totally ok with that even. But, when I have to work with others, I get all worried and worked up.

Help!

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 07-05-2005 - 10:39am
OMG, Kim! You have done so much more than I ever could. Even when I have thought about starting something new, the fears that arose in my head, kept me from moving forward. You have done such a good job. You have overcome so much & made it through a private lesson & an entire session. You need to boost your self confidence. I believe that will come with more sessions under your belt. No pun intended. LOL Remind yourself of how much you have overcome to get yourself to this place. Remind yourself of what the instructor has said to you. Pump yourself up mentally when the doubts creep in. Do NOT give up! Keep facing your fears head on. I think you're a strong person. Everyone in that class has been paired with a newbie @ some point.
 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Tue, 07-05-2005 - 11:34am
Hi Jan! Thanks so much for the encouragement and kind words. I think I feel ok about walking in the door now, since I know where to go and how to dress and stuff like that. When we warm up, we do normal exercises by ourselves and it is all stuff I know how to do because of my aerobics classes so that is good. The teacher even commented last week that I seemed to know what I was doing already. But then when class starts, he told people to get with their partner and he told me ahead of time last week that he would be my partner so that was great because I feel fine around him. Then he told me who to work with next and once more after that. So, all was good. Now I am worried that tonight when he says get with your partner that I will not know who to work with and I will get all anxious. Hopefully he will work with me again since I am still new. But I keep thinking that everyone already has a partner and I will be standing there alone like an outcast. Then I am scared that I will not do things right when I am with someone and they will feel I am holding them back. I know that I am new and they all were knew at some point, just like you said. I just can't seem to get past this darn feeling.