freaking out

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
freaking out
4
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 2:46am
Hi -- I have only recently started posting to this board, but I am freaking out and don't know what to do. I have been on various medications for panic and anxiety since about November, and in May I graduated from college by the skin of my teeth, and now I'm drowning in the feeling of having no idea what to do now. My immediate goal is to get a job waiting tables or something in NYC, cause that's where a few friends have gone and I don't have a better idea. But I haven't been able to get any job yet, despite pounding the pavement, and I've had it up to here with living with my parents, as well as with not having a place of my own to call home. I'm sure I'm one of a million having the same existential and practical difficulties post-graduation, but my anxiety has been getting the best of me recently. I feel like I have wasted a college education when someone else would have used it for better than waiting tables, I worry that I will never get a job that will allow me to support myself, I feel like I have no good reason to exist and am kind of just taking up space in the world. I can no longer see my therapist because she is at my old school and now I am living in one of three places, none of which is the town where that is. Sometimes I feel like giving up. I get drunk every night. I don't know how to get happy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2005
In reply to: legendshot
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 3:08am
DONT WORRY i know its hard to hear that cause it is but please try not to worry. first of all what did u go to school to be? and just because you move to nyc and wait on tables for a bit doesnt mean u can find a better job later and support your self very well. i have alot of the same problems about the school and job thing. i tring to choose a career i will enjoy but i am have a hard time picking and its been very distrubing.but you should run to nyc unless u are sure thats what u want. and u shoudnt let it control u either. drinking makes people more depressed then anything else i think people should only drink when happy.its a horriable thing to get started on i've seen my brother drink his sadness and sarrow and it made things worse. they way i think when i feel confused when i can acually think straight is. we all have a purpose before we ever know it GOD knows what are choices will be in life. so do what u think is right and what u think will help u have a sucessful and great life if that means nyc then go u say u have friends there so that even a plus to have people who u care about around you. i hope everything goes well for u and let me know how u feel and what your choice is. if u have any more ?'s i can try and help u. i know how hard it is waiting for someone to reply trust me i know i just did a message and waiting for someone to reply. alright good luck,....... BEST WISHES...........................SINCERLY
ANA
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: legendshot
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 7:56am
I am sorry to hear your worries & concerns have stressed you out. Regardless of how you graduated from school, you did it! Give yourself some credit. You are one of the best & brightest, now! Sounds corny, but it's true. I am puzzled why you have chosen to wait on tables instead of putting that degree to work for you. But, that is your choice. Now may not be the easiest time to find a job. Even in NYC, some areas may be all tied up with all the summer help nailed down. Can you just hang on a bit more till fall? It's not a question of wanting too or liking it, but unless you're independently wealthy, you have to. BTDT & it isn't the happiest of times. Let's hope the time passes quickly. Don't give up your job search. There's bound to be an opening @ some point. Some folks will be retuning to school in mid-August. Replace your negative thinking with positive thoughts. What you feel now is temporary. Nothing has been wasted. You aren't a loser & really have no reason to think that you won't experience an upturn in your situation. That's the depression & anxiety talking. I hate to sound like your mother, but you know the drinking is not good. It's self medication & can only lead to deeper depression & anxiety. Better to unwind after pounding the pavement with lots of physical activity or some mental lifting. I hope you feel better soon. We care! Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan



 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
In reply to: legendshot
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 4:25pm

graduating from college is a big transition period in life, especially if you feel like you wasted your education. my first advice would be to slow down in your drinking, in order to prevent any long term damage to your physical and mental health. I can totally relate to what you're going through right now. i graduated from college 5 years ago and found my self anxious and with direction-less. similarly, i had a pretty low GPA and felt like I disappointed my parents and my self. i wanted to move to NYC, because it was always a dream of mine...however, after going back home at 20 i decided it wasn't the right time. instead, i stuck around and did a year of AmeriCorps, basically i worked for a stipend for a year doing case management at a local community mental health center. I also worked at a homeless shelter on the side. that experience gave me SO much direction and hope for the future. i took classes at the university post-graduation as a non degree student in psychology and got straight A's, because for the first time i actually understood the importance of working hard and achieving. anyway, to make a long story short, doing americorps helped me get into a graduate program at NYU, and im now living in NYC and loving it...so i geuss im trying to tell you that there is hope! right now you need to think constructively, and instead of focusing on the mistakes that you may have made in the past think about the future.

take care,
mia

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: legendshot
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 11:57pm
Sure hope you are feeling better by now.

Blessings, Suz   Posts in this Community