freaking out
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freaking out
| Wed, 07-06-2005 - 2:46am |
Hi -- I have only recently started posting to this board, but I am freaking out and don't know what to do. I have been on various medications for panic and anxiety since about November, and in May I graduated from college by the skin of my teeth, and now I'm drowning in the feeling of having no idea what to do now. My immediate goal is to get a job waiting tables or something in NYC, cause that's where a few friends have gone and I don't have a better idea. But I haven't been able to get any job yet, despite pounding the pavement, and I've had it up to here with living with my parents, as well as with not having a place of my own to call home. I'm sure I'm one of a million having the same existential and practical difficulties post-graduation, but my anxiety has been getting the best of me recently. I feel like I have wasted a college education when someone else would have used it for better than waiting tables, I worry that I will never get a job that will allow me to support myself, I feel like I have no good reason to exist and am kind of just taking up space in the world. I can no longer see my therapist because she is at my old school and now I am living in one of three places, none of which is the town where that is. Sometimes I feel like giving up. I get drunk every night. I don't know how to get happy.

ANA
graduating from college is a big transition period in life, especially if you feel like you wasted your education. my first advice would be to slow down in your drinking, in order to prevent any long term damage to your physical and mental health. I can totally relate to what you're going through right now. i graduated from college 5 years ago and found my self anxious and with direction-less. similarly, i had a pretty low GPA and felt like I disappointed my parents and my self. i wanted to move to NYC, because it was always a dream of mine...however, after going back home at 20 i decided it wasn't the right time. instead, i stuck around and did a year of AmeriCorps, basically i worked for a stipend for a year doing case management at a local community mental health center. I also worked at a homeless shelter on the side. that experience gave me SO much direction and hope for the future. i took classes at the university post-graduation as a non degree student in psychology and got straight A's, because for the first time i actually understood the importance of working hard and achieving. anyway, to make a long story short, doing americorps helped me get into a graduate program at NYU, and im now living in NYC and loving it...so i geuss im trying to tell you that there is hope! right now you need to think constructively, and instead of focusing on the mistakes that you may have made in the past think about the future.
take care,
mia
Blessings, Suz
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