Just want to say hello
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Just want to say hello
| Mon, 07-11-2005 - 12:28am |
Hello everyone! I am not new to the board, I just haven't been around alot these days. Summer is a busy time for me , this is the time that I am at work alot. I work in Tourism.
I hope that everyone is having a great summer and that anxiety is at a low point for you all.
I have been doing great as far as my anxiety is concerned, I am soooo happy about that, considering that my personal life is in a mess, DH and I are still apart and just can't seem to get it together, if thats even what I want?? Some days I feel so strong and others I am a basket case, of worry. Life has been so stressfull I wonder how I'm still able to function , if you all knew what I've been through the last month or so, you would no what I mean. I'm really surprised that I haven't had a panic attack or some anxiety, I just pray that its not waiting until the end of the summer like it did last year and make my life a nightmare of panic everyday!
Mostly I have just been very low and feeling that life will never be a happy place for me, I just want to have a parnter that I can trust and depend on , someone that makes me feel safe and loved, at times I am so lonely.
My summer has not been fun or enjoyable at all, I am lucky that I can put food in the house and keep the other bills paid enough so that everything will not be shut off. Some days I can't even afford to back out of the driveway, LOL ! Haven't ran out of gas yet, but maybe today will be the day, I am soooo on empty and I have a course to attend so that will be extra driving there!
I go to work everyday with a smile on my face and talk to upwards 80 to 100 people , always smiling, how I do it is a mystery to me, then to stay upbeat and pretend to my co workers that all is fine in my life, it is really hard, there are afew that know what I'm going through, some that are good friends, but I don't even tell them everything.
I know I will get through this it can't get much worst then this I pray! I guess the first year is the toughest after a break up! For those that don't no I have been married 19yrs and with this man for 30 off and on, I have been with him longer than my own family and more years than my own mother, she died when I was 24.
Well I really needed to let some of this out and I know this is a great place to do it as I've had great support and advise in months past! To all that no me here thanks for reading and I will look forward to your replies, and those that don't have a clue who I am , thanks also! Maybe I'll catch chat one of these nites, would love to talk to the girls of old and the new ones also. Maybe by then I'll be fine, this seems to be the pattern.
Take CARE gIRLS, AND AGAIN THANKS!!!!
BEE (bRENDA)
I hope that everyone is having a great summer and that anxiety is at a low point for you all.
I have been doing great as far as my anxiety is concerned, I am soooo happy about that, considering that my personal life is in a mess, DH and I are still apart and just can't seem to get it together, if thats even what I want?? Some days I feel so strong and others I am a basket case, of worry. Life has been so stressfull I wonder how I'm still able to function , if you all knew what I've been through the last month or so, you would no what I mean. I'm really surprised that I haven't had a panic attack or some anxiety, I just pray that its not waiting until the end of the summer like it did last year and make my life a nightmare of panic everyday!
Mostly I have just been very low and feeling that life will never be a happy place for me, I just want to have a parnter that I can trust and depend on , someone that makes me feel safe and loved, at times I am so lonely.
My summer has not been fun or enjoyable at all, I am lucky that I can put food in the house and keep the other bills paid enough so that everything will not be shut off. Some days I can't even afford to back out of the driveway, LOL ! Haven't ran out of gas yet, but maybe today will be the day, I am soooo on empty and I have a course to attend so that will be extra driving there!
I go to work everyday with a smile on my face and talk to upwards 80 to 100 people , always smiling, how I do it is a mystery to me, then to stay upbeat and pretend to my co workers that all is fine in my life, it is really hard, there are afew that know what I'm going through, some that are good friends, but I don't even tell them everything.
I know I will get through this it can't get much worst then this I pray! I guess the first year is the toughest after a break up! For those that don't no I have been married 19yrs and with this man for 30 off and on, I have been with him longer than my own family and more years than my own mother, she died when I was 24.
Well I really needed to let some of this out and I know this is a great place to do it as I've had great support and advise in months past! To all that no me here thanks for reading and I will look forward to your replies, and those that don't have a clue who I am , thanks also! Maybe I'll catch chat one of these nites, would love to talk to the girls of old and the new ones also. Maybe by then I'll be fine, this seems to be the pattern.
Take CARE gIRLS, AND AGAIN THANKS!!!!
BEE (bRENDA)

It's always good to hear from you, Bee. I am sorry that things aren't going so well. This hurts me to know, as you're a great person & really deserve better. I haven't a clue with relationship troubles. Have you guys been to marriage counseling? Even if only one partner attends, it can yield valuable results.
The financial situation is one that I can relate too. I make myself leave the house everyday to beat the agoraphobia. But it's getting harder to justify that $2. 33 a gallon for gas. Yikes! I feel that I am cutting costs in every area that I can. Jas is back to work & needs the car, too, since we only have one. It's a real pain. In fact, she's a pain. She isn't generous with her paychecks to help with the gas. She's one of the *Entitlement generation.* She's entitled to everything & free of charge. LOL
I'm glad the A/P is under good control, but you're wise to be concerned that it may sneak back @ a later time. You need to find outlets for the stress, now. Find & use that *me* time. Try some physical workouts. Walking is free & cheap:) Do you still have the dogs? That kills 2 birds with 1 stone. It does sound that your depression is pretty deep. You need to accentuate the positive areas of your life. Try to get back to chats. It really pumps you up to hear others give you a nudge & listen & relate to what's going on. We do care, Bee. If there's anything you need, let us know. Good luck & keep safe. Don't allow this depression to keep you down for long. (((hugs))) jan
((Brenda)) I feel so sad to read your update. I used to enjoy talking at the chats with you as our husbands seemed to be clones of one another. Since you haven't been around, I was sure things were going well for you. I agree with Jan, find some outlets for your stress now. When I am very busy, as you are with work now, my pa/anxiety are less - I contribute that to my mind already being busy with work stuff. Once work slows down, you will have alot of time to "think" and that's when my pa get out of control. My dh & I have moved 800+ miles, and our relationship has totally changed since. He is everything I wanted and missed in him. I hope it doesn't change (keeping my fingers crossed). He is much happier in the warmer climate and got a job with a remodeling company which gives him alot of diverse activities instead of the same monotonous tile work or sheetrock hanging everyday. He is really enjoying it and bringing that sense of satisfaction with a job well done home with him everyday. I look forward to seeing you in chat.
Sheri Ann
Sheri Ann