Can't calm down...
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| Wed, 07-13-2005 - 11:26am |
Hi ... Hope everybody is doing well ... I haven't been around in a couple of days ... I didn't have computer access over the weekend and have been trying to focus more on my work while I'm at work ... instead of the anxiety.
Last week, I thought I was doing so much better ... everything was looking up ...
But I'm back to where I was before ... My heart is beating out of my chest right now. I feel so uncomfortable and lonely. I'm not very busy this week and it is driving me crazy. I'm scared to be alone and to have to much time to dwell on the anxiety. This probably sounds weird - for most being busy probably causes more anxiety - but for me it is the total opposite. I get so anxious when I have nothing to do. And I'm still directing all of my anxiety, frustration, and anger on my boyfriend - which is so unfair to do.
All I want to do is go home to my parents house - which is an hour away from where I live. I feel like that is running away, though. But I dread sitting home alone in my apartment tonight with the anxiety.
Help! I hate when I get these little attacks at work ...

I am the same way. If I have work to do the day goes fast and I usually don't even think about the anxiety. Mine is the worst when I have nothing to do, which has been a lot lately for me, unfortunately. I have left my last couple of jobs over this issue and was very clear that I needed a "challenge". I was assured that I would be busy and challenged and am frustrated finding out that that is not the case now.
Anyway, I have to stick it out, but my anxiety at work is like yours, never worse than when I don't have anything to do.
Hope you can find something else to concentrate on. I usually spend most of my day on the boards here, sometimes posting, sometimes just reading.
Alison
I'm the same way. I have to keep my mind busy all the time to avoid the anxiety. Even if I'm just reading a good book it helps. I don't think going to your parents house would be running away. I used to find comfort there, I think you should ask your boyfriend to go with you and maybe it will help you both. If he resists, go yourself & see if you feel better. If you keep taking your frustrations out on him, it will hurt your relationship and you may not be able to fix that. Your anxiety can be helped. You need to be in a place where you feel safe & can rest. I hope you feel better soon :)
Hugs,
Sheri Ann
Sheri Ann
Im sorry to hear that you're having this set back, but you'll get through this, just like you've faced your anxiety in the past!
it's perfectly normal to feel more anxious when you're bored or not busy. In fact, my therapist always asks me to keep my self busy and set a schedule for my self. it's something about having things to look forward to and obligations to keep that gives us less time to think about our anxieties.
as for going to your parents' house, you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable, and you certainly shouldn't feel that's you're failing yourself in any way. My first instinct whenver i get bad anxiety is to go home, but my parents live very far away, so it's not feasible. I try to get through those times by calling my mom a lot and talking to her on the phone, or talking with my boyfriend, or just a friend that I trust. Where is your bf if you dont mind me asking? could he spend the house at your house?
Mia
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! It means so much to me to have this board and so many people that understand anxiety. I hope that I can help all of you too...
Today is going much better...I think because I'm trying harder today to be happy...I kinda gave in to the anxiety the past couple of days...Still don't think I'm doing enough for myself though.
I had a great night at home last night (glad you guys understand why it is such a safe place to me and don't think there's anything wrong with that)...I was anxious when I woke up this morning but the Xanax did help me to calm down a little (at least my body)...I'm at work now and trying to stay busy and not to focus on the anxiety. I still struggle with trying to get rid of the need to feel an urgency to make my boyfriend understand what this is all about...I think that's why I feel anxious around him...I have to ignore the anxiety and not feel like I have to be talking to him about it all the time. I want to enjoy his company again and focus on his great qualties...not my problems all of the time.
Please let me know how you are all doing today...I hope everybody is having a peaceful day. Take care all!
With much thanks,
Maribeth